The World Only the Summons Know
by ItsComplicatedOkay
Summary: Instead of traveling to the past like the Goddesses intended, Keima Katsuragi and Elucia de Lute Ima travel to Fumizuki Academy, the school that boasts of the Summoning System. What will happen when Keima has to capture Escaped Spirits and fight summons in the realm of Baka to Test? Pairing: KeimaXHarem
1. Deities, Tests, and Summoned Beings

**Hello, Baka to Test/TWOGK fans, and welcome to The World Only Summons Know.**

**Disclaimer: I own neither Baka to Test nor The World Only God Knows. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter One: Deities, Tests, and Summoned Beings**

* * *

"Let's go home. I'll buy games, play them, and then pass out," said Keima Katsuragi, already stuck in his own little world. The World Only He Knows. Wow, that was a little too early to say the title of the story. Anyway, something seemed to be a little... off and it seemed that the Capturing Deity, stuck in his little reverie, didn't notice. Luckily for him, Elsie, his usually useless devil partner, shook him and said, "Kami Nii-Sama, doesn't anything seem a little... weird. This doesn't look like your neighborhood."

"Shush Elsie, I'm dreaming about Yokky- wait, now that you mention it..." Keima looked around. Just as Elsie said, this didn't look like Maijima City, and in front of him wasn't his gaming plac- school. Keima looked closely at the nearby sign.

"Fumi...zuki Academy?" pondered Keima. He then recalled something about the goddesses sending him to the past. But he had never set foot in "Fumizuki Academy" before. "It seems that the goddesses messed up."

Before Keima could get sucked into his game, the orb the Goddesses gave them started to glow, just as a school bell rang, warning the students to get back to class. Keima sighed. Even in a parallel world, he still has to get through school. Dragging Elsie, who had just seen a firetruck, they entered the premises.

* * *

"_Ohayou gozaimasu_, Aki!" said Minami Shimada, as peppy as always. Ignoring her, Keima kept on walking. Mistake number one. She then kicked the PFP out of his hand, wrestled him to the ground, and put him in an arm bar.

"Why are you giving me a cold shoulder?" said Minami, putting more strain on his arm. Giving no attention to his poor right arm, he made a mental note. Apparently, he's known as "Aki" in this world. Damn reality. He swiftly pulled out a back-up PFP from his sleeves and continued playing. Seeing that he was still ignoring her, Minami pulled even harder, the sounds of cracking filling the air. Elsie looked at Minami, ready to hit her with her broom, when Keima looked into her eyes.

"Get more information," whispered Keima. Then a permanent snap was heard, his arm bent in an improper position. Wincing, he said, "Now if you're done breaking my arm, _get out of the way_."

"Right away, Kami Nii-sama!" said Elsie, flying outside. Only, she didn't know where she could get data. Ugh, the world only a li'l devil knows...

* * *

"What do you mean '_How did I get the answer right?_' I merely used context clues to find out the meaning of the word," explained Keima to Mr. Mukai, the Traditional Japanese teacher, not even looking up from the handheld. "Can I get back to my game now?"

Murmurs were heard throughout the pigsty- classroom. Keima heard a lot of "Smart Baka?!" 's. He then deduced that Akihisa Yoshii is normally an idiotic fellow, and that getting a relatively simple answer wrong was the norm.

The teacher, tugging at his collar, said, "Y-Yoshii do you need to go to the infirmary?"

"Now that you mention it, yes," said the Capturing God. "It's probably the pain of a broken arm that's getting to me. I will now take my leave." He stood up from the coffee table and walked outside, where Elsie stood, invisible thanks to her Celestial Robe.

* * *

"Kami-Nii sama," whispered Elsie, reading off from a list, "we're at Fumizuki Academy, which adopted a unique system." The devil then gave Keima the details. Keima's mind got more and more baffled as the info kept on getting stranger. It was like merging His World and Reality together. Let's just say that the God of Conquests wan't happy with that. He believed that the two aspects should stay separate, like oil to water. They could clash together, but they would separate inevitably. Then she said that she couldn't contact Hell here.

"Okay, so we can deduce that there are numerous Loose Souls in the city, due to the lack of devils to capture them. We can then assume that we were sent here to stop the Weiss from arising in this parallel universe," stated Keima, walking out of the infirmary, the broken bones magically healed for some reason. Then he heard the bell ring. He assumes that it's lunchtime, and continues playing.

"So what will you do, Kami-Nii sama?" asked Elsie. Keima almost facepalmed. She basically dumped all the responsibility on him, as always. Then he heard the sound of rushed footsteps, followed by his supposed friend, "Yuuiji Sakamoto", and his supposed fiance, "Shouko Kirishima". Thankfully, Elsie gave him that much info.

"Yuuiji, eat my _bento_," said Shouko, chasing after him. She then slowly cornered him. She pulled out a black object. Which sparked. Keima, after the Kanon fiasco, was traumatized by the tasers, and almost developed a phobia for them.

"N-No way!" yelled the red-head, ducking past her guard and running like his life depended. Which it probably did. Then, he grabbed Keima by the neck and cried, "**Akihisa Barrier!**"

Taking the horse by the reins, since he knew that he would be killed for interfering with the yandere, Keima called out to a nearby teacher. "Fukanoshi-sensei, I challenge Shouko Kirishima to a summoning battle in Math!"

"I don't know why, but I approve!" declares the teacher, smirking. She was probably thinking that Keima was going to get his butt handed to him. Then, a weird technological aura surrounded everything in a twenty meter radius.

"Nothing will get in the way," said Shouko. "_Summon!_" A Chibi Samurai appeared in front of Keima's adversary. He was starting to reconsider his actions. All the pain that his Summon would get, he would have to suffer through it too. Still, it was the only choice, since women with tasers will generally not listen to reason. On the othr hand, his last math test was pretty-

"_Summon!_" exclaimed Keima. Then, out of the summoning circle, came a... Chibi Mecha, with a chibi-Keima inside. Apparently, it surprised everyone around, seeing a Summon this powered up, or maybe, it was too different from "Akihisa's" Summon.

* * *

**Keima Katsuragi/Akihisa Yoshii** VS **Shouko Kirishima**

**500** VS **450**

* * *

Everyone was shocked. Akihisa, the Lord of Stupidity, was more powerful than the Valedictorian of the class?! Keima smirked. It was time to show them the true power of God.

"Feel **God's wrath!**" exclaimed Keima, his Mecha slashing through the samurai. Shouko's points then got knocked down to zero.

**God of Conquests-1**

**Reality-0**

"T-The battle's over! Victory to... _Akihisa Yoshii_." The boundary field dropped, and a buff man that appeared in homeroom came in.

"All those who have been **KIA** must receive remedial classes!" yelled "Ironman", dashing onto the scene. Then, he picked up Shouko and left, Shouko giving Keima a cold glare.

Yuuiji patted Keima's shoulder. "Akihisa, you did a good job." He then left, still perplexed by the events. The adrenaline was, at the least, was amazing. Who knew that school was this fun, who knew that-

"Kami Nii-sama!" said Elsie, reminding him of the World he has to return to.

"Yes, Elsie?"

"_There's a loose soul in that girl!_"

* * *

**Well, that's that. Will Shouko ever be freed from the loose soul inside her? Will Keima and Elsie ever return to their world? Will everyone in this school fall for the Capturing God's spell? There's only one way to find out. Beat the answer out of the author- I mean, wait ever so patiently for the next chapter of ****_The World Only the Summons Know!_**


	2. Shouko, Minami, and The Capturing God

**Hello again, person who subscribed! Welcome to another chapter of The World Only the Summons Know!**

**In this chapter, we get to see Keima's logic in action, used on Shouko, and Minami!**

**Disclaimer on the First Chapter**

**Enjoy!**

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**Chapter Two: Shouko, Minami, and the Capturing God's word**

* * *

_Just to clarify, Keima still looks like Keima, but to other people, the image of Keima is congruent to "Akihisa Yoshii", so when people in this universe see him, they __think "Akihisa Yoshii", and not Keima Katsuragi. Elsie is her normal self, and people see her as Elsie de Lute Ima, nothing else._

* * *

"Um... my name is Elucia de Lute Ima. Please take care of me!" said Elsie, bowing in front of Class F. Of course, all eyes were on her, since there were only two girls in the class, excluding Elsie.

"Um... sit anywhere you like," said the buff man know as Iron man. Of course, loyalty dictated that she'd sit next to her Kami Nii-sama, which she did.

"K-Kami-sama, they're all looking at me strangely," whispered Elsie, squirming at the boys' leers. Keima, as usual, remained stoic.

* * *

_**Lunch Time**_

* * *

Keima, walking past an Elsie surrounded by boys, exited the class to meet up with the target, Shouko Kirishima. Once he reached the target, he greeted, "Ohayou gozaimasu, Shouko."

"Hello Akihisa."

Keima, trying to live up to Akihisa's personality, sort-of-smiled and said, "Could you possibly meet me on the rooftop after school." See, first impressions are everything, and since Shouko's impression of Akihisa is "Ultimate Idiot", Keima couldn't do much, since she's in love with a whole different archetype. She's in love with the type who helped her out. Now, Keima had to change her view of "Akihisa Yoshii" into the same light as "Yuuji Sakamoto".

"That's impossible, Akihisa," said Shouko, "for I am too busy pursuing my fiance."

"Please? I'll give you..." When Keima found Akihisa's apartment with the help of the orb, he found a few risque pictures of Yuuji in a yukata. He now had a wild card he could use anytime, and that situation is the perfect time to use it. "...some pictures of Yuuji in a yukata!"

* * *

"What do you require of me, Akihisa?" asked Shouko, hugging the pictures to her person. Keima now had to tread carefully, since if he failed, he would be rejected, or worse, electrocuted.

Putting on a sad smile, Keima said, "S-Shouko, I- I care for you. I'll help you through anything, so please, tell me what you need." There, fufilled the part of "Helpful friend", so she should acc-

_**Woosh!**_ Keima ducked a lunge of a taser. When he looked up, Shouko had an ominous glare glued to her face.

"Don't mess with me, _Yoshii_, I already have my Yuuji," said the Class A rep, gripping the taser tightly in her hand. Keima took a risk. He reached for her hands and enclosed them in his.

"I don't care if you don't like me, just let me help!" said Keima, looking into Shouko's eyes.

She dropped her taser.

"Okay, Akihisa, I'll accept your help."

Sadly, the Capturing God didn't notice the girl hiding behind the pillar. Minami Shimada. She almost gasped when Akihisa confessed to Shouko. He was such an expert at it too, targeting the chinks in Shouko's "armor", a thing that she would've never expected out of the Ultimate Baka. She cracked her knuckles, smirking at the prospect of beating up Akihisa again, with a legitimate excuse this time! Unbeknownst to her, something inside of her died. Her attention went back to the two silhouettes.

"Okay. First," said the God of Conquests, bringing out a whiteboard out of nowhere, "you have to get into your target's mind _without_ threatening him, and without _anything_ related to love!"

Shouko seemed to be reluctant, but nodded, signalling for Keima to continue. "Then, you adjust Yuuji's impression of you into a romantic one through repeated encounters." He then stowed the diagram into wherever he usually stows it.

Shouko's expression turned into an apprehensive one. "Okay, we can try it out."

"Okay, the event will happen tomorrow!" shouted Keima as Shouko left the rooftop. Then Elsie bursted through the door Shouko had just left through a few moments ago.

"Kami Nii-sama!" exclaimed Elsie, catching up to Keima. "I was mobbed by boys! Save me!"

"Not now Elsie, I need to prepare. I've just confirmed that the gap in Shouko's heart was caused by someone not recuperating her feelings," said Keima, whipping out his PFP, "so now I'm going to redirect those feelings towards me. I can finally see the ending!"

Minami chose this moment to reveal herself, shocking the duo. "What in the world are you talking about Aki?" She then took a stance, like a solder about to charge into the fray. "If you're trying to hurt Shouko...!"

Keima had to think fast, but since he was the Capturing God, it was easy for him to use his words to get out of the situation. "I wasn't trying to hurt Shouko. More importantly, why are you here? Neither I nor Shouko asked for your assistance, am I correct?"

"I... Um... How the hell did you get smart Akihisa?!" segued Minami, trying to salvage her resolve.

"So that means," ignored Keima, "that you followed us. So, answer my question, _Minami Shimada_. Why did you follow us? And why did you have to hide?"

"Um, argh!" exclaimed Minami, figuring out that she's being slowly cornered, by Akihisa, no less.

"Could it be that..." Keima swooped in, his lips a mere three centimeters from Minami's. "...You like me?"

As a response, she flipped him, and put her foot on his abdomen, saying, "Hmph! Who'd fall in love with YOU, Aki?" He slipped under her shoe, causing her to trip. He then caught her, putting them in a questionable position. As Keima leaned in, Minami shut her eyes, her wildest fantasies coming true. Once he was able to feel her breath on his face did he stop.

"You'd fall in love with me," said Keima. Then he straightened her up, then bolted outside, Elsie in tow.

* * *

**Keima Katsuragi his words to, not only survive the situation, but also to capture Shouko's heart little by little.**

**Don't forget to review, and I'll see you next time.**


	3. Me, Yuuko, and Confessions

**Shout-out to Druss the legend for being my first reviewer!**

**Disclaimer: Check first chapter**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Three: Me, Yuuko, and Confessions**

* * *

"We're declaring a Summoned Being War on Class D," stated Yuuji Sakamoto in front of the whole class. "We need to build up support and morale for the inevitable fight with Class A!"

A roar of approval could be heard throughout the classroom. Keima gritted his teeth. He forgot to account the possibility of there being an ESB, so it put a dent in his plan. Nevertheless, he was the Capturing God, so he could deal with the dent easily if he dealt his cards right.

"Akihisa, declare war on Class D right away!" exclaimed Yuuji.

"Fine," grunted Keima. He whispered into Elsie's ear, giving her the plan, since there wasn't a competent devil in sight. "C'mon, Elsie."

Then Minami Shimada interrupted, "Hold it! Why are you bringing Elsie to the fray, when she could get hurt?!"

Keima was about to smartly reply, when Elsie interjected, "But I have to support my Kami-sama!" Of course, calling the Ultimate Idiot "Divine One" would sound Klaxon alarms throughout Class F, especially since they've almost never been seen together. The FFF Inquisition sharpened their scythes, while Minami cracked her knuckles, and Mizuki brought out a few cookies. Hell was about to break loose in the classroom.

"Elsie you _Baka_!" exclaimed Keima, dragging the li'l devil outside. "Anyway, prepare your Robe!" Once they reached the door to Class D, Keima burst through and exclaimed, "I, Akihisa Yoshii, in the name of Class F, declare _war_ on Class D!"

All of the students rose from their seats, their hands crumpling into fists. "Elsie, _now_!" He was then covered by the Celestial Robe, invisible to everyone except Elsie. The duo bolted for Class F.

"Damn, that idiot had a plan! Never mind, let's just focus on out battle plan!" exclaimed their class rep and ambassador. Anything they said after that was unheard by the protagonist.

Once the two were inside, Elsie removed the Robe, revealing the duo in their awe-demanding glory. To the other students, it was as if they appeared out of thin air. As you all know, that wasn't the case.

"Akihisa, nice entrance. Okay, let's get to planning!"

* * *

Shouko was, in fact, a little nervous. She had never tried being nice to Yuuji, since that hadn't been working for six years, but now, thanks to Keima's logic, she believed that this is the right way into her beloved's heart.

She approached the redhead, the latter flinching upon seeing Shouko. Once she was a meter in front of him, she bowed and outstretched her arms.

"Please take it, Yuuji," calmly said Shouko.

"..." Yuuji looked a little apprehensive, probably thinking it was a trap. Shouko almost lost her cool, till she saw Keima's calm face looking at his PFP, a girl with a skull in her hair accompanying him. For some reason, that irked the Class Rep. "Okay, I'll take it. Thanks, Shouko."

Once he left, Keima Katsuragi approached the girl. "You did a good job, Kirishima. Now all that's left to do is to do the confession. I estimate that his love points for you were already high, so it should be easy capturing from hereon out."

"Please, Akihisa, call me Shouko. I _do_ owe you," said the girl, smiling a little. Then the smile faltered at the prospect of confessing. She had always expressed her love for Yuuji through tazers, but never through a normal confession. "Oh, the confession-"

"-is _easy_," said Keima, interrupting Shouko's train of thought. "Meet me on the rooftop, and I'll show you."

"O-okay, Akihisa," said Shouko, walking back to her classroom.

Keima pushed up his glasses, taking up his godly pose. He realized that the capture was already eighty percent done, once Shouko stuttered like that, since she never stuttered. Now all he needed was that little push, so that Yuuji/Akihisa can release the escaped spirit. As he whipped out his PFP, his "sister" approached.

"Kami-sama, are you done talking to Shouko?" asked his partner. "'Cause I made a bento for yo-"

Keima bolted.

* * *

"So, here's how to do a proper confession. Here, a script," said the Capturing God, handing Shouko a list of the lines, reactions and conditions that will happen in the mock confession Keima will be holding. "Go ahead, call anyone."

"S-Sure, Yoshii." Shouko was a little shocked. Akihisa has thought out the script so well, and it seemed so logically correct too! She whipped out her phone, and dialed up a certain girl's number. "She should be here in a moment."

"'Kay, toss me your phone," said Keima, catching the flip phone. "Now hide behind the pillar." Shouko hid behind one of the pillars, a shred of doubt in her mind. _'Still,'_ she thought, looking at she script, _'it's all well thought out.'_

The rooftop doors opened, revealing... Yuuko Kinoshita, the Class Ambassador of Class A, followed by Hideyoshi Kinoshita, her twin... _something_. Keima had to hand it to Shouko; she sure knew how to give him a hard time. "Shouko, where is my nove- _Yoshii?_"

Keima held up Shouko's phone and a small walkie-talkie, meant to look like a voice changer. Let's just say that Yuuko liiked like a volcano about to erupt. "Akihisa, if you think this is a joke then-"

"Wait, I just want to talk," interrupted Keima.

Hideyoshi, confused, said, "Akihisa, what dost thou require of my sis-_WHAT?_" You see, Keima had just reached forward and grabbed Yuuko's shoulder. Shouko looked at the script; he was following it to the letter, and Yuuko's reactions were all the same.

"_A-Akihisa_, w-what are you-"

"_Shh_," whispered Keima in Yuuko's ear, putting a finger to her lips. "I just want to tell you something."

Yuuko squirmed. Akihisa, a cute bishounen that was just her type, was confessing to her! "Ah... I..."

"I like you," said Keima, kissing Yuuko, making Hideyoshi faint out of confusion. Yuuko didn't object, letting him slide his tongue into her mouth. It was pure bliss for her first kiss, and-

"Shouko, you can come out now," said Keima, wiping the saliva from his lips. Of course, this enraged the ambassador. _'He better have a good reason, or so help me, I'll-'_

"Yuuko, please don't hurt Akihisa," said the Class Rep. "He was just showing me how to confess to Yuuji properly. Look, you can even check out his script." Yuuko took the script roughly, still mad over the whole fiasco. She then read it. Everything was spot on, even the reactions made.

"H-how did you-"

"Based on Shouko's preferences, I assumed that she would choose you," relayed Keima, doing his divine pose. "Then I made a script based on your personality and the amount of variables present. Still, I didn't expect that Hideyoshi would tag along as well, so I had to adjust my actions a little."

He turned to Shouko. "The confession's tomorrow, before the start of the ESB. Don't be late." Keima then left the rooftop, leaving Shouko and Yuuko stunned.

"A message?" said Keima, followed by Elsie. He whipped out his PFP, and checked the message.

* * *

**To: Keima Katsuragi**

**Where are you?**

**From: Kanon Nakagawa**

* * *

Keima sighed. He should've expected some sort of inter-connectivity between the two parallel universes. He typed wickedly fast.

* * *

**To: Kanon Nakagawa**

**Fumizuki Academy, which is in a parallel universe.**

**From: Keima Katsuragi**

* * *

Of course, a reply came instantly. Keima wondered how fast Kanon could type.

* * *

**To: Keima Katsuragi**

**Okay, Apollo and I are coming there right away! She said it's to "Get ahead of the competition" or something. Anyway, see you in a few hours, bye!**

**From: Kanon Katsuragi**

* * *

Keima sighed. Again. Hopefully Apollo would actually help instead of mess up the captures, and- wait... _"Kanon Katsuragi"_?!

* * *

**Will Kanon be a saving grace, or a bane of Keima's existence? Will Shouko be freed from the Escaped Spirit's grasp? Will Keima accidentally max out Minami and Yuuko's love points? Will Elsie ever be a productive partner? (No) Find out in the next chapter of _The World Only the Summons Know_!**

**Don't forget to review, so goodbye!**


	4. Keima, Kanon, and Cuddling

**Hello, and savor your time in The World Only the Summons Know.**

**Anonymous Review Reply:**

**Loving it: Keima has already been to Akihisa's house, but his sister hasn't met Keima yet.  
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**Disclaimer: Check 1st Chapter**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Four: Me, Kanon, and Cuddling**

* * *

"Hello, I'm Kanon Nakagawa*! Please take care of me!" said Kanon, much to the approval of the boys, except for Keima, who just kept on playing. Kanon then walked up to Keima and said, "Good morning, Akihisa!"

"Hey Kanon." Of course, Mizuki and Minami were baffled. Minami had to torture him into calling her by her first name, and Mizuki had to muster up all her courage to say his first name, then a random girl just walks up to their love interest, and says his first name with nonchalance? Talk about unfair.

Of course, their fury only increased when Kanon sneaked in a peck as she walked back to her desk. The Yuuji interrupted.

"Are you ready to beat Class D?!" exclaimed Yuuji, riling up the class. The response was overwhelmingly positive, especially since their weakest link (Akihisa) got his act together. Still, another crappy student took his place as the Ultimate Baka, but no one wanted to admit it. She was "just too cute" to be smart, and she was "too foreign" to read Kanji.

"Yeah!" exclaimed the new Ultimate Baka, Elsie, who had gotten a total of three hundred in combined subjects. Yep, that low. On the other hand, the entrance test Kanon took had grades worthy of Class C, so she was fine. Keima, obviously, could compete even with Shouko, thanks to his deductive reasoning.

"Okay, everyone to their positions!" exclaimed Yuuji, everyone rushing to the battlefield. Of course, since Yuuji still thinks of Akihisa as a baka, he was told to hold a surprise attack, since his team could barely hold its own. See, Team Baka was composed of Keima, Elsie (Baka), Kanon (Newbie), and a few others.

"Kami Nii-sama," said Elsie, "how's the capture?"

"We'll find out after this 'war'," said Keima, still playing "Fate/Stay Night*", "but from the look on Yuuji's face, is seems that-"

"Akihisa-kun!" interrupted Kanon, hugging him from behind. Of course, that made the rest a little jealous. Before things could get out of hand, the Summoning Field enveloped the area, signalling the start of the war. Lots of cries could be heard, and the sound of Iron Man dragging the bodies of the dead. "Uh, what's going on?"

"Ugh. Elsie, explain this to Kanon, so that we can get started. I would like to confirm my premonitions as soon as possible," said Keima. "_Shoukanjuu*, Summon!_ Anyway, Elsie, use the Robe on us!"

* * *

"W-What kind of sorcery is this?" exclaimed Genji Hiraga. For some reason, all of the Japanese teachers were switched with Math teachers during the chaos, and the criminals left absolutely no tracks. Then a messenger burst in.

"It's horrible!" exclaimed an unnamed NPC.

Genji pinched the bridge of his nose, lest he lose his cool. "What happened now [insert name here]?"

"They're only fifteen meters from out position- scratch that, ten! We won't last!"

Genji sighed. It just wasn't his day. He glared at the blackboard, trying to channel his frustrations into the writing implement. Then things took a turn for the worse. Out of nowhere, a few meddling kids appeared, the one leading them being-

"Akihisa!" exclaimed the Class Representative, summoning his warrior. He heard the rumor that Akihisa got his act together, and with the godly glare he made, the rumors seemed to be true. Luckily, they had a Japanese teacher hidden under the teacher's podium, so Genji would be at his best.

"Kanon, you take the others and defend the area. I'll take Genji," said Keima, his summon ready for action.

**Keima Katsuragi VS Genji Hiraga**

**400 VS 300**

Of course Genji gasped. His scores were godly, and completely overshadowed his. The Capturing God pointed his finger at Genji, signaling for his Shoukanjuu to attack.

It was over in a heartbeat.

* * *

Keima was on the rooftop, a little irked at the events. Before Keima could deliver God's Judgment, Yuuji got KIA'd, so the class got downgraded to cardboard boxes. What bad luck. He just hoped that the pieces of his conquest would fall into place. Then Shouko appeared, taser in hand.

"I-I got rejected," said Shouko, gripping her taser hard.

"It's okay, Shouko," said Keima, putting his PFP away. He then walked up to her cautiously, making sure to take care. If he made even one sudden movement, the yandere would snap. "Because even if Yuuji won't be there for you- ARGH!"

His eyes got stabbed by Shouko's fingers. He couldn't see, and that troubled the God of Conquests a lot. Thanks to his temporary blindness, he couldn't gauge Shouko's reactions. He would have to rely on his predictions.

"Yeah, so you'll have to take his place," said Shouko, the sound of Shouko activating her stun gun ringing in Keima's ears. Then the feel of soft lips enveloping his took up all of his senses.

"Take care of me, Akihisa," said Shouko as she left the rooftop. Once the Deity's sight returned, he called for Elsie, his peppy li'l partner appearing by his side.

"_~Auah!_ I had to take remedial classes today, Kami Nii-sama! It was torture!" complained Elsie, stretching her arms. "At least we got another Runaway Spirit!"

"Well if you studied more, your Firefighter Summon would've lasted longer," said Keima, his fingers a blur. Once they reached the gates, they met Kanon, who perked up once she saw the geeky boy.

"Keima-kun, let's go home together!" deadpanned Kanon.

* * *

"Oh, so this is where you live," said Kanon, walking into Akihisa's apartment. Keima sighed, for he had yet another yandere to deal with. See, Kanon's Love Points were already pretty high, since she even confessed to him in Mai-High. She might even be maxed out, and if Keima wasn't careful, she could be merciless in a capture operation. "It's a 2LDK*, right?"

"Yeah, since Akihisa is supposed to live alone, I presume," replied Keima, who had just beat "Fate/Stay Night" and was now moving on to "Clannad*".

Kanon walked into the kitchen, grabbing an apple off the basket. "So what happened to Elsie-chan? She isn't here yet."

Keima replied vaguely, "Yeah, I gave her some... _'homework'_." The homework Keima gave her was to erase the memories of all those who were involved with the capture, which would probably take time and concentation. Shouko should be less dependent on other people now that Yuuji isn't the center of her life anymore.

"Okay, so if she's not here, you wanna..." said Kanon, trailing off.

Keima didn't know what was coming, but he could tell that he migt not like it. "You wanna?"

"...cuddle in bed?"

All Keima could do was sigh.

* * *

_**Footnotes:**_

_**Shoukanjuu: Summoned Beasts**_

_**Fate/Stay Night: Visual Novel published by Type-Moon (The only visual novel I've ever played0**_

_**2LDK: Japanese term for a two-bedroom apartment with a living room, dining room, and kitchen**_

_**Clannad: Visual Novel published by Key**_

_**Kanon: She appeared in Keima's room when he woke up, and then he told her about the whole situation**_

* * *

**Well, that's the end of the fourth chapter! Will Kanon stay sane, or go crazy over Keima? Who will be the next carrier of an Escaped Soul? Will Shin Fukahara make an appearance (don't count on it) ?**

**Please review if you have a few minutes to spare, even if it's a one-liner. (Still, we authors crave meaty reviews).**

**_Sayonara!_**


	5. Kouta, Aiko, and Identities

**Welcome back! Sadly, I'll have school next week, so I might not be able to update often. Just giving you guys a heads-up/**

**Disclaimer: Check the 1st Chapter**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Five: Kouta, Aiko, and Identities**

* * *

The two beauties were desperate. Their love interest was being taken away right before their eyes at the hands of that pink haired girl and the new idiot. Akihisa Yoshii. That was the name of the boy the girls Mizuki Himeji and Minami Shimada wanted to get their hand on so badly. He was so close, yet was so far.

"Uh- _Ohayou gozaimasu_*," greeted Voyeur, adjusting the aperture of his camera. Then a wild Aiko Kudou appeared.

"Hey, Kouta!" said the mischievous lady, her own camera in hand. Then, she leaned forward, making sure that her cleavage was visible. "You fixing your camera?"

"I'm sorry, Kudou," said Mizuki, blocking Kouta's view of the feminine crevice. "But we need Kouta alive and anemia-less."

"Yeah," continued Minami, "because we have something we need to ask Kouta for!"

The only thing Aiko did was show off her camera. "Well, I could help out too!"

The two other girls sighed. They wouldn't get to the objective if they didn't get past the roadblock known as Aiko Kudou. The two went straight to the point, "Fine. We want you two to spy on Akihisa Yoshii."

* * *

"Kami-sama, I feel a disturbance in the Force," said Elsie, trying to fing the thing that's been bugging her.

"Elsie-chan, you shouldn't break the fourth wall," said Kanon, like how an older sister chastises a younger sibling. "You might mess up FanFiction!"

Keima sighed. Kanon unknowingly played the fourth wall herself. Then, he saw what was probably throwing off Elsie's inner peace. There was someone watching the trio from above! Before Keima could get Kanon to electrocute the mysterious figure, a fellow second-year student greeted them.

"Good morning Akihisa!" said Aiko Kudou. "Or should I say... _Keima Katsuragi_?"

"Whah!" exclaimed Keima, who was caught off guard. He didn't expect that someone would figure out his identity within the first week. He glared at the woman- no, adversary in front of him. He would have to count on his wit to get him and his companions out of this mess. He whispered into Kanon's ear, "There's a stalker up in the tree, so just leave him to me. Play dumb, and keep Elsie safe."

Kanon nodded and said, "Okay Akihisa! I'll bring Elsie while you talk to your lady-friend!" It hurt her when she said those words, since she felt like she was betraying herself. Still, Keima was the one who asked. She could never refuse. Shoving those thoughts aside, she went towards the school.

"Well, hello there, Kudou Aiko," said Keima, walking up to her. He tried to analyse the amount of Love Points Aiko had for him. If they were enough, then he could tease her, then walk away. On the other hand, if the points weren't enough, he would have to dispose of her some other way. Luckily, he had done his homework too, so if he played his cards correctly, he could escape scot-free. "Nice seeing you here. Still, isn't your house on a _different street_?"

"Oh yeah," said Aiko, smirking. She had him right where she wanted him. After this, she could finally gift a deluxe camera for her beloved with the money she would be receiving from Minami and Mizuki. "I just needed to give Kouta-"

"But he doesn't live on this street either," deadpanned Keima. Things just heated up. "So, answer me this. Why are you here?!" Aiko's smirk turned into an angry frown. She, a Class A student, wasn't going to lose an argument to a Class F student if she could help it! She decided to be more... risque for her approaches.

"Fine, I just wanted to see... Yuuji. I-I kind of like him!" said Aiko, making sure the person she used lived on the same street. For some reason, the lie made Voyeur's blood boil a little.

Still, Keima wasn't buying it. "Even though Shouko, your closest friend, practically owns him? Don't make me laugh. Now, since we've eliminated Sakamoto from the variables, let's talk about Muttsulini for a moment." The tables have turned, as Aiko is now on the defensive as Keima delivers God's Judgment. "You like him, don't you?"

"N-no!" Keima had found a chink in Aiko's armor, but the girl wouldn't give up. "H-How about you and that Mizuki girl?"

"I don't have feelings for any of them," said Keima, his voice the bare definition of cold. "Now, if you're done interrogating me, tell Tsuchiya to get down from his tree. I'm going ahead."

* * *

"I'm sorry Mizuki, but he outsmarted us," sighed Aiko, her pride shattered a little. "All we could find out was that Shouko's perkiness was thanks to him. Also, the girls living in his home call him 'Keima Katsuragi'."

Kouta was down too. He had never been found before, and even if it was his best friend who found him, he would still be mopey. Then someone burst through the doors.

"What's wrong with Shouko? She hasn't been trying to kill me at all for the whole week! Not like it's a bad thing..."

_**CRASH!**_ A flying Keima crashed onto the table that the group of five were talking at. He got up, checked his PFP, hugged it, then bolted, a girl with a scythe on his tail. A faint "Haqua, my PFP!" could be heard.

"Stupid Akihisa."

* * *

"Ow, Haqua! What was that for?!" exclaimed Keima, trying his best to buff out the scratch on his PFP. She just appeared out of nowhere, swinging her scythe around like a madman.

"Even in this world, you're chasing down women?!" exclaimed Haqua. "How many women do you want till your satisfied?"

"Around sixty thousand," said Keima, too engrossed in his game to care. "I can't stop till this collar's off. Besides, why are you here?"

"Elsie couldn't erase all the memories by herself, so it's up to me as a representative of New Hell to assist her," said Haqua. "Luckily the Goddess's are covering for me. Oh yeah, they're asking about Apollo's whereabouts." Then the door opened, revealing Hideyoshi.

"Akihisa, _we need to talk_."

* * *

_**Footnotes:**_

_**Ohayou gozaimasu: A polite way of saying "Good Morning" in Japanese**_

* * *

**What will Hideyoshi ask of Keima? Will Keima's games stay intact throughout the captures? Will Haqua ever reveal her soft side? Find out in the next chapter.**

**Don't forget to review, and I'll see you later!**


	6. Me, Yuuka, and Disguises

**Wow, it's been a while, hasn't it? 22 day hiatus, caused by my neglectfulness. Well, sorry to keep you waiting!**

**For those who ask about Akira Yoshii: She'll appear later on in the story**

**Disclaimer in earlier chapters**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Six: Me, Yuuka, and Disguises**

* * *

"Akihisa, we need to talk," said Hideyoshi suddenly, interrupting the talk between Keima and Haqua. He walked up to Keima, each step filled with purpose. "Just who are the girls living in this house?!"

Keima, a little perplexed as to how to handle the situation, took a step back. "Um, you mean her?"

"Of course her," said the feminine male, pointing a finger at the devil with the scythe. Hideyoshi then walked up to Haqua and glared daggers at her. That was a big mistake on his part. It wasn't a mistake because Haqua wanted to slice Hideyoshi up (silly human), but it was a mistake because the behavior was out of character. Keima caught on. He then started to notice the little details, like the slightly puffier chest, the rougher skin, the harder fist, and the lighter shaded eyes. If the Capturing God's assumptions were correct...

_"Hold it!"_ exclaimed Keima, mimicking a certain Ace Attorney. After he walked up to "Hideyoshi", Keima rearranged the hair clips, and fixed up "Hideyoshi's" hair. "Hideyoshi, or should I say, _Yuuko Kinoshita_, why are you here?!" The said twin walked back a little, Keima still advancing on the poor girl. Then, she mustered all her courage and stood her ground, resulting in a stalemate.

"W-I'm here to clear this up!" cried the girl. "You've been tarnishing the reputation of the other classes. I mean, you're cumulative score overall's over seven thousand?! That's rivaling Ms. Takahashi! No way a_ baka_ like you-" She was stopped by the finger on her lips. Keima then closed in, using his words as a way to weasel him out of the situation.

"If that were the case, Ms. Kinoshita," said Keima, "then you could have simply confronted me at school. My logic is supported by the fact that when you first entered, you asked about Haqua." Yuuko felt... cornered, as even though she was part of the Top Ten in the batch, she was being outwitted by the idiot.

"F-Fine, I just wanted to... ask you if you wanted to hit the crepe joint for a pastry or two," said Yuuko, who was squirming under Keima's gaze, "and that's when I saw _her_." Keima sighed. She went through all this, just to ask him out on a date. Category: _Yandere_. Adding to that, Keima didn't know that Yuuko already had so many love points.

"And you acted like Hideyoshi for what reason?"

"Well, it was a l-little easier to ask you in his little get-up. So, w-will you go with me?"

* * *

"Haha!" said Minami, wiping the vanilla creme from Hazuki's nose. She, Hazuki, and Mizuki Himeji were eating crepes at the pastry store they frequented. Hazuki had gotten some of the treat on her nose, to which the other girls just had to giggle at. The fifth grader was just too cute for her own good. Then someone barged in, hastefully bought a kiwi flavored crepe, and sat down at their table. The melancholy she radiated was overwhelming, even making Hazuki's irresistible goof up a sad event. Who exactly was the girl with the negative feelings? Yuuko Kinoshita. With her cheek to the table, she nibbled on her pastry, not really enjoying it. The others were concerned, and with good reason. The bad aura the Class A student was emitting was affecting everything around her, causing flowers to wilt, and smiles to droop. Even though the two high school students were merely acquainted with the said girl, they tried reaching out for her.

"Uh... Yuuko, are you alright?" asked Mizuki. A slight shake of the head was made in response. "Well, what happened?"

Yuuko, even in her depressed state, didn't like the aspect of losing, much less to the Ultimate Idiot. Admitting that she took the news hard would be the final nail in the coffin. She then looked back to what Akihisa said earlier.

_"I have no interest in you, so please leave," said the boy she liked, not even looking up from his handheld._

Her face visibly fell even more, if possible. She then decided that to regain her pride, she had to get over her crush.

"I-I got... rejected, rejected by the boy I like," said Yuuko, composed enough to be able to actually take a bite.

Minami was shocked. Even if her beauty didn't compare to her twin's, she was still a knockout. "Who was he?"

"A-Akihisa Yoshii, that _baka_." This sent the girls into their own spiral of emotions. They were angry at the fact that Akihisa, who wouldn't hurt his friends (excluding Yuuji), would actually break the usually cool and composed Yuuko. They were sad at the fact that Yuuko, an already beautiful girl, was rejected. Lastly, Yuuko could confess her true feelings, while the other girls couldn't, making them a little jealous.

"_**AKI!**_" exclaimed Minami, standing up from the table. "Prepare to pay!" She then rushed out the shop, Hazuki and Mizuki hot on her trail. Yuuko sighed. Today just wasn't her day. Sadly, the two heroines wouldn't be able to catch the Capturing God, since Kanon had dragged him out for bikini shopping right after Yuuko left the apartment.

* * *

_The Next Day_

* * *

"Kami Nii-sama, there's an Escaped Spirit in that girl!" exclaimed Elsie, pointing at a certain blue haired Representative. Strutting along the hallway, Yuuka Koyama looked a little irked. She looked at the photos in her hand. Keima saw the person in the picture, thanks to the Magic Binoculars Elsie conjured up out of her Robe. The person in the picture was Class B's Rep, Kyouji Nemoto, in a school uniform, bloomers to be exact. Yuuka then proceeded to rip the photo to shreds, saying, "I can't believe I actually _dated_ that pervert!"

"Elsie, details," said Keima. Instantly, the binoculars in his hands escaping his grasp as they morphed into a screen for Elsie.

"Yuuka Koyama, Class C Representative, former partner of Kyouji Nemoto," relayed Elsie. "She doesn't seem that hard of a target, Kami Nee-sama."

"And that's the problem," said Keima, hand covering half of his face. The situation was kind of like Chihiro's. "She's _too_ normal. I can't fit her into any of my normal archetypes!"

"Isn't she a little like Chihiro-san?" asked Kanon, popping up out of nowhere. "That means she's in the 'normal' class."

"And I don't know how to deal with 'Normal'. It's too akin to the Real," said Keima, pulling out a game cartridge out of his pocket. The title was "School Nights*", and to sum it up, it was a horrible experience. The heroines were bland, the writing was pitiful and uninspired, and the drawings were akin to a preschooler's. The only reason why Keima hadn't trashed the abomination of a game was due to the fact that it had proved useful in Chihiro's conquer. Since the girls in the said game were similar to a Real girl, Keima's only use for the game is as a reference, if ever the target is as normal as Chihiro, who's inner brand of spunk was overshadowed by her being normal. Keima shoved the game back into the recesses of his pockets. "I work with Gaming techniques, not the tricks of Reality!"

"We'll deal with this, Keima-kun!" said Kanon, winking. "We'll do it_ together_." Keima rolled his eyes at the _Public Display of Yandere-ism_.

"So what're you gonna do now, Kami-sama?" said Elsie, morphing her Celestial Robe into the shape of a firetruck, the red engine seeming to never leave her mind.

"Isn't it obvious Elsie? We've done this seventeen times already, for Goddess's sake," sighed Keima, taking his usual godly pose. Kanon frowned at the "seventeen times" part of Keima's dialogue. It seemed that she had a lot of competition, but with the favor of a Goddess, she knew that she would be the one to rise above the rest. "For the sake of my gaming time, I shall start the capture of Yuuka Koyama immediately!"

* * *

_**Footnotes:**_

_**School Nights: Parody of School Days**_

* * *

**Please give me feedback, 'cause a little _constructive_ criticism goes a long way  
Goodbye!**


	7. Me, Minami, and a Bed

**How long has it been again? Well, I hope you haven't waited too long.**

**I now have a beta reader! Say hello to _Random_! He'll be editing everything starting next chapter, so if you find an error, you know who to blame. Just kidding!**

**Disclaimer in previous chapters**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Seven: Me, Minami, and a Bed**

* * *

"I-I_ love_ you!" Yes, a stereotypical start to a Conquest, but with all the midway parameters, Keima didn't have much of a choice. He needed to know what was on Yuuka's mind. He needed her problem. "It hurt too much just being on the sidelines, while a cross-dressing pervert stole your heart! Please, I-I care for you, and I don't want you to get hurt and ashamed by that experience ever again!"

"Hypocrite," said Haqua du Lot Herminium as she rolled her eyes, and glared at the scenario unfolding in front of her. Keima was a cross-dresser before for Yui's second conquest, therefore making him a dissembler. After that revelation, she took a look at Keima's script, and as always, Keima Katsuragi was following it to the letter.

"W-What!?" said Yuuka Koyama, backing away a little. "But we never really interacted, and this is all so sudden, and-" Her rambling was halted by Keima's hands encasing her own.

Keima raised the hands up, and said, "C'mon, give me one chance! Let me fill in the hole in your heart!" He then swooped in and kissed her. Instantly, the Escaped Spirit was booted out of Yuuka's heart, therefore ending the anti-climatic capture. Why was Yuuka Koyama so easy to conquer? The hole in her heart was shallow, which says that her "love" for Kyouji Nemoto was merely infatuation. Thanks to the shock made by Keima's sudden confession, he practically rammed into the spirit, making it go out. Sure, it would be easy for the gap to open up again due to the lousy patchwork, but Keima's goal was to suck up all the Spirits in record time.

"Escaped Spirit in custody!" exclaimed Elsie, as Haqua was writing on her tablet, erasing Yuuka's memories. The thing on Keima's mind was that it was too easy. He had been expecting a slap and an angry Yuuka, and afterwards, he'd turn that hate to love. Sure, he had also thought of the possibility that the capture would end with that magical kiss, but he shoved that to the margins of his script, because the probability of that happening is a mere 1%.

"Kanon, Shouko, _Yandere-ism_... Chihiro, Yuuka, Normalcy... tsk, I can't see the ending yet! Wait..." He was making a connection between his universe and Akihisa's universe. The heroines were alike! Keima debated whether that tidbit of info would be useful in the future. Then the sounds of Sensors sounding off shook him from his analysis. He whipped around, till he was looking at the two devils, each one having a beeping Sensor in hand. Keima was perplexed. What did that mean!? On instinct, he hid behind the pillar (Yep, he had confessed on the rooftop. _Again_.) just as two figures appeared.

_Minami Shimada and Mizuki Himeji._

* * *

"What do you _mean_ 'Both of your sensors went off'!?" said Keima, baffled by the events that unfolded. "Isn't that inpossible!?"

"Not really. Mine probably went off on the ponytail girl, while Elsie's came off on the pinkette," summarized Haqua.

"A double Conquest!?" exclaimed Keima. Since he is technically the only buddy in Akihisa's universe, he would have to be the one to capture them both.

Haqua rolled her eyes yet again. "You know you don't have to Capture both at once."

"_Objection!_" exclaimed Keima, pointing one finger at Haqua and taking a pose like a lunatic. "I _have_ to Capture them at the same time! Faster Captures equal more gaming time, which I am lacking!"

"And more Keima time!" exclaimed Kanon, adding in her five cents. She then proceeded to hug Keima, who had delved back into the Gaming World after his objection. Haqua's eye twitched.

"Hey _human girl_, I don't like the way you two are touching."

"Well, what're you going to do about it? You don't own him!" said Kanon. The gloves were off. She wasn't going to mess around anymore, not when she could see how easily Keima captures a girl. With that level of skill, he could Capture anyone. It scared the pink-haired idol to the max. Losing Keima would be like losing everything for her, and if she didn't get her happy ending...

_...desperate times call for desperate measures._

* * *

"Aki!? Where are you, and why aren't you here!?" yelled Minami into her phone, a poor Keima Katsuragi on the other side.

"I have a cold," sniffled Keima, who had a Celestial Robe piece stuffed up his nose to synthesize a cold. "Would you mind bringing me the homework given today?"

"W-Why would I want to do that!?" Deep inside, she would die for a chance to go to Akihisa's house, but she kept the feeling from surfacing.

"Well, I guess I could just ask someone else, maybe Hideyosh-"

"I'll do it!" exclaimed the flat-chested girl, the volume assaulting Keima's ears yet again. "I'll be there right away!"

"Thanks," said Keima, flipping the phone closed. He then recalled the time when he had to hide Ayumi when Chihiro came over, leading to a bunch of fan-service. He hoped the situation would happen again, since he wanted to max out the girls's love points in as little time as possible to be able to salvage some gaming time.

It was time for the God to get serious.

* * *

"Aki!? You don't look so good," said Minami Shimada, setting a few worksheets on the end table in Akihisa's room. Keima turned his head toward Minami.

"Yeah. The cold hit me all of a sudden," said Keima, "so I wasn't able to get to a hospital in time." The brunette then tried to pick up the glass of water beside the sheets of paper, only to let it slip and wobble. If it weren't for Minami enclosing her hands upon his, the water would've soiled the worksheets. Minami and Keima blushed thanks to the close contact.

"Dang, you're hopeless," sighed Minami, tilting the glass for him. She watched as his luscious lips gulped in the liquid. Pushing the thought out of her head, she said, "No one else's here?"

"Nope. It's a little lonely, actually," said Keima, sighing. "It's a little _too_ lonely, so... could you stay for a little while longer?"

"B-But I'm all busy, with... stuff a-and," stuttered Minami, having a reverie of her and Akihisa all alone in his house, doing- never mind. "A..._a_..."

A knock on the door and an "Akihisa-kun? Oh, the door's unlocked" interrupted the girl with the ponytail. Then the sound of a door swinging open could be heard, and had Keima cursing the high heavens.

"A freaking repeat!? How unoriginal can the Real get!?" whispered Keima out of frustration. Once the footsteps were outside the room's door, Keima shoved Minami onto the bed, grabbed the cover and hid the both of them. The door swung open, revealing...

_...Mizuki Himeji. _

* * *

**What'll happen next? Will Keima's simultaneous Capture succeed, or will the real get in his way?**

**Please don't forget to leave a review, no matter how short (but I _do_ live for meaty reviews), and I'll see you next time!**


	8. You, Me, and the Ending

**Welcome back! Wow, a faithful update for once!? That's impossible! Haha, just joking! Anyway, _this_ will be the last chapter that wasn't edited.**

**Disclaimer in earlier chapters**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Eight: You, Me, and the Ending**

* * *

"A-Aki!?" mumbled Minami Shimada from under the blanket. She was so shocked, that she wasn't able to move, even if the only thing pinning her down was Keima Katsuragi's thin build. Then her mouth was covered by Keima's hand.

"B-Be quiet!" returned Keima, tilting his head towards Mizuki Himeji, the girl who had just entered the room. The pinkette set her bag down by the bed, and pulled up a chair for herself. "H-Himeji-san!? Wha - _cough!_ - what are you - _cough!_ - doing here!?"

"I-I heard that you're sick," said Mizuki, fiddling with her thumbs. "from Minami." A deafening silence reigned after the flat chested one's name was uttered. Keima coughed a little, while Mizuki was fingering the ribbon around her neck. Then Mizuki saw that something was a little off. "Akihisa-kun, your blanket looks... kinda lumpy."

"Just an extra futon," said Keima nonchalantly. He was more worried about the ticking time-bomb (Minami) that was under him. She was getting too restless, and Keima felt her lips part, her teeth poised to strike. "Could you get me the pill canister in the kitchen?"

"Sure!" said Mizuki, happy to get out of the tension-filled room. Right after the door was slammed shut, Minami shoved Keima onto the floor, and pinned him in place, her knees on top of his biceps. The bespectacled boy was lucky that she wasn't using any of her deadly techniques. Minami, on the other hand, was perplexed. Why was Akihisa wearing glasses? And why is his hair that color!? She didn't have enough time to question him, because the familiar footsteps returned. Using her distraction to his advantage, the gamer escaped Minami's clutches, and jumped back into bed, bringing the startled girl along with him. Now, they were in a pretty risque situation, Minami's head buried in Keima's abdomen, and her arm wrapped around Keima's waist. Keima's legs were intertwined with Minami's, and the whole thing was awkward.

"Here you go!" exclaimed Mizuki, handing the brunette the pill bottle. He swallowed the pill, the piece of candy making him shiver. Keima Katsuragi doesn't like sweets. "Do you feel better now, Akihisa?"

"A little," said Keima, then he noticed a pink letter sticking out of Mizuki's satchel. Recalling Akihisa's life and times, he remembered that that was Mizuki's love letter for someone. "What's that letter?"

"Wha!?" exclaimed Himeji, sounding flustered. Minami was now curious, but could barely concentrate. All the foreign talk, combined with the heat in the alcove, and the softness of Akihisa's flat abdomen pressed against her entire face, overheated her thought process. She couldn't think straight. "Oh, the letter..."

"_Hold it!_" exclaimed Kanon. Wait, _Kanon_!? What the fu- hell happened!? "Keim- Akihisa's _mine_!" That earned Keima an elbow to the stomach (courtesy of Minami), which blasted him onto the ceiling. Keima exclaimed, "Agkh!" Now all three girls were out in the open. Keima's stomach felt like acid, bile coming up his throat. He coughed the foul liquid out, the Celestial Robe piece falling out of his nose. His "cold" was gone. He turned to the girls, who were glaring each other down. The injured gamer pulled out his phone and dialed up Elsie. "Elsie, what happened!?"

"I-I don't know! All of a sudden, Haqua yelled out the plan, and tried to storm your room! Don't worry, I'm holding her bac- _whoa_, never mind!" At that, Keima heard footsteps coming from the hallway. An agitated and bloodthirsty Haqua would be in the room in mere seconds. Keima's mind raced, analyzing escape routes. The door wasn't an option, for obvious reasons, and hiding would only provoke the scythe wielder. The only way out was... _the window_! If he could just make it to the fire exit...

The cold butt of the scythe met his already aching abdomen. Keima crashed through the window, overshooting the metal staircase he wanted to get to entirely. Keima thought back to Yokkyun, Nagisa (Clannad), and every heroine he left behind. Keima's last words before he lost consciousness were this.

So... _close_...

He fainted.

* * *

He woke up on a white couch. Analyzing his surroundings, he noticed that he was in Akihisa's house again. Then, a wave of nausea overcomes him, making him lie back down. He decided to use his recovery time to reflect. First of all, what happened to Kanon and Haqua!? It seems that Kanon's love points have reached the point to where she would never give up her "Keima-kun, even if it was necessary for something like a Capture. Haqua, who is supposed to be a_ Tsundere_, has also acted according to what her heart dictates. It seemed that _her _love points have maxed out too. Keima sighed. Their jealousy would kill him someday. "Elsie!?"

"Kami Nii-sama, it was a disaster!" cried Elsie out of despair. Keima didn't need this mopey Elsie. He needed the _peppy _Elsie, the one thing that was constant in the universe he traveled to. "If I had held back Kanon-chan and Haqua a little longer, then... then the Conquest would've been a success!"

"Oh Goddess, just snap out of it Elsie!" exclaimed Keima, putting his hands onto Elsie's shoulders. "Tell me what happened."

"Well, after I caught you, I flew up to the bedroom window _invisibly_!" said Elsie, her Robe turning into mist for dramatic effect. Keima flicked Elsie's forehead, making her cry out. "Kami Nii-sama, that _huuurt_!"

"I know you want to cheer me up," said Keima, a little happy that the normal Elsie is coming back, "but I need that information! If I don't monitor their affection levels, and get booted out of their life, the Hunt will end! I need to know how many love points have been knocked off the bar, and where they might be. I can't do that if you don't tell me what happened!"

Elsie then elaborated. Apparently, Haqua and Minami tussled, while Mizuki and Kanon had an argument. The aftermath of the showdown resulted in Minami admitting defeat, and Mizuki and Kanon, the two Yandere's, were in a tight stalemate. Minami pulled Mizuki away, while Kanon was just smirking. The idol and the devil went out to cool off their heated jealousy, and Mizuki and Minami hit the crepe shop. At the end of the retelling, Keima smirked.

"Gotcha," muttered Keima, turning away from Elsie. The Capturing God still had a chance! Instead of the target's hearts shattering, they stood their ground, forming a complex love parallelogram, with Keima as a point in the center of it all. If he could redirect the negative emotions towards Haqua and Kanon... maybe form a competitive polygon... "_I can see the ending_!"

* * *

**Please give me your feedback! If you want a guide, here's a set of questions:**

**a.) Do you like this Keima (more angst, less perfection and Godliness) or the Keimas before?**

**b.) Is anyone out of character? Have I perfected their personality, or do they wilt in comparison to the original?**

**c.) Do _you_ see the ending? (What I mean by this is this: is the plot too predictable?)**

**If there are any corrections, just PM them to me. My Beta Reader, _Randomftw42_ (ID: 4224175) will handle it. **

**Don't forget to review, and I'll see you later!**


	9. Me, Miharu, and Blackmail

**Okay, _this_ will end the unedited chapters. Hopefully.**

**Disclaimer in earlier chapters**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Nine: Me, Miharu, and Blackmail**

* * *

"M-Mizuki, are you okay?" asked Yuuji Sakamoto, putting his right hand on the pink haired girl's right shoulder. See, an ominous aura was radiating from the buxom lady, and Yuuji didn't like the look of that. The ginger followed Mizuki's faze, his eyes landing on the new transfer students, namely Kanon Nakagawa and Haqua du Lot Herminium. He then noticed that Minami was mimicking the pinkette, glaring daggers at the other duo. As the Class Representative of Class F, Yuuji needed to stop the exchange of glares, and quickly. If word got out that Class F was divided, and ripe for the picking...

Yuuji scanned the area. Hideyoshi was talking to Yuuka, so the _bishounen_ was a no-go. If Yuuji were to interrupt their conversation, he might get a face full of _fist_. Or maybe a Shouko sent upon him. Speaking of Shouko Kirishima, she hadn't been attacking the poor redhead for a while now. Rumor has it that Akihisa Yoshii, an oblivious idiot, had helped the yandere girl out. He doubted that the rumor held truth. C'mon, he's _Akihisa Yoshii_ for Pete's sake! That should be a good enough answer for anybody.

Shaking the thoughts from his head, he searched for the Ninja Pervert, aka Kouta Tsuchiya. Unfortunately, he was dyin- lying in a pool of his own blood, with Aiko Kudou standing above him. The usual, though that didn't help matters. The only option woud be-

"Yo Akihisa!" exclaimed Yuuji, approaching the brunette. Yuuji had never seen him that hooked on games before. Sure, he had sneaked a whole smorgasbord of time-wasters to school once, but Akihisa had never played _during_ class. Plus, they were Dating Sims, which the normal Akihisa avoids like the plague! Only one thing was for sure. Yuuji Sakamoto was confused. "Do you know what happened to Minami and Mizuki?"

"They had a fight with Kanon and Haqua over a boy they all liked," said Keima Katsuragi, not looking up from the PFP. Sure, he didn't like interacting with the Real, but it was necessary to keep up Akihisa's image. "I heard the said love interest got knocked out of a window."

"Wait, who's the guy!?" said Yuuji, surprised. If it was Minami and Mizuki, the boy was probably Akihisa himself, but the way he worded it, combined with the fact that Kanon and Haqua were in the "war", made it seem as if the guy in question wasn't Akihisa.

"I don't know," nonchalantly said the gamer, finally pocketing the PFP. "If you want to know so bad, why don't you ask them youself? If _I_ ask them, she'll kill me for sure."

"Just _go_!" shouted Yuuji, picking up Keima by the collar, and lobbing him into the fray. Sadly, Yuuka Kinoshita was in the line of fire, so she and Keima got tangled up, his knee up her crotch, while her mouth was in the crook of his neck, her lips brushing his skin a little. The physical contact made Keima blush, and only served to rile up the four rivals.

_"Ba!-"_ exclaimed Minami, jumping on top of Keima, bending his leg the wrong way. Then, Haqua joined in, bringing out her disquised sickle and swinging the blunt side at his face. Every time it connected, his glasses cracked even more. Keima was indifferent. He didn't need glasses to play games (he had contacts at home).

"_**-ka!**_" finished Haqua, using the tip of her weapon to pick up Keima, and fling him across the room. He crashed into the already battered chalkboard, forming cracks on the green surface. Keima simply got up, shook off the pain, and continued gaming. In his head, he was thinking about the Conquest. He had evaluated Mizuki and Minami's love points, and it turns out that they were still efficient enough for a Capture. Still, Keima needed a big flag to Capture both at the same time.

As Keima returned to his desk, he found a note. It was a pink envelope with a heart motif, and it looked too akin to a love letter. He turned to look at Mizuki, who had the letter of the same kind. He decided to go to the rooftop to read it.

* * *

"I know your s-secret!?" exclaimed Keima. The letter turned out to be a blackmail letter, and it said to stay away from the girls around him. If he didn't follow the conditions, a few pictures of Akihisa Yoshii cross-dressing would be available to the public eye. Keima didn't care about that. What  
he _did _care for was the picture of Kanon Nakagawa confessing to Keima Katsuragi in Majima High. "For the Goddess's sake, how did _this_ get here!?""

He brought up a list of potential blackmailers. Aiko Kudou was one of them, since she knew his real identity. Kouta Tsuchiya was also a candidate, but the idea was quickly rejected. Voyeur already sells Akihisa's pictures on the Black Market, so he doesn't really have any leverage since the photos were already available to the public. His mind then turned to...

"_Miharu Shimizu_!" said Keima. She has a solid motive, and rumor has it that she has "contacts", which answers the question to how Miharu got the risque photos. Keima whipped out his PFP, and texted Elsie. In a few minutes, the devil appeared. "Details on Miharu Shimizu."

"...She's the Class D Ambassador, and she is a... homosexual, whatever that means. Her love interest is... Minami Shimada!?" relayed Elsie staring at the pink tablet. She then scratched her head. "_~Auah_, Kami-sama! Why does this girl like another girl!?"

"That doesn't matter," said Keima, secretly cursing Reality even more. If someone made a game wherein the heroine was a lesbian, Keima would personally be the one to burn the company to the ground. "What matters is that she knows my secret!"

"Uh... Kami Nii-sama... you have a secret!?" Keima flicked her forehead yet again.

"That I'm actually Keima Katsuragi, and not really Akihisa Yoshii!" yelled the boy, shaking Elsie by the shoulder. "Ugh, I still can't believe they made you a member of the Runaway Spirit Squad."

"Oh. Well what're you gonna do about it?" said Elsie, already choosing to be a spectator. Keima sighed. He had so many things to do, leaving him with no gaming time.

"First I have to make sure that she really _is _the blackmailer. Then, _we take away her memories_."

* * *

They were on the train, headed towards the Academic Training Camp. Keima was sitting next to Yuuji, with Minami and Mizuki in front of the two. On the seat behind Keima's sat Kouta and Hideyoshi, with Haqua and Elsie sitting in front of those two. Behind Minami sat the idol Kanon Nakagawa.

"Aki, name a girl that each color makes you think of," said Minami, reading a psychological book. For some reason, Keima's mind was sounding off Klaxon alarms. It was like it was screaming, _'Poison flag, poison flag, **poison flag**!'_ "Blue."

"Kanon," said Keima, his fingers not moving. He was starting to feel a bloodthirsty aura coming off from Minami.

"O-Orange," said Minami with a little anger seeped into her tone. Keima had to tread carefully, lest he gets tossed out he window.

After deliberating the hidden meaning of the color orange, Keima stated, "You."

Minami's glare lessened a little. "Why am I orange?"

"Ribbon," said Keima, pointing his PFP at the yellow-orange accessory.

"Hmph," berated Minami, her tsundere tendencies kicking in. "Green."

"...Haqua." By then, her frown turned into a smirk.

Mizuki felt a little left out. She wasn't picked at all! Maybe the color pink was what reminded him of her, but then again, that Nakagawa girl's hair was also pink. She sighed, and said, "So what do the colors mean?"

"Green is a friend, Orange is a source of energy, and Blue...  
_blue..._" muttered Minami, trailing off. Everyone but Keima, including the far away Haqua and Kanon, was now interested, especially Kanon, since blue was the color Keima assigned her to.

Haqua would've yanked the book out of Minami's shivering hands, if she wasn't so peeved at Keima. "Only friends? Seriously!?"

Before Yuuji could get his hands on the book, Minami opemed the window and tossed the offending novel out the window, which earned her a few groans. Keima, on the other hand, went on the attack, since he might as well earn a few more love points.

"Blue stands for 'love interest', doesn't it?" said Keima, who got up from his seat, and approached Minami. She shivered, as her mind begged, _'Don't look into the eyes! Not the eyes!'_

"Like hell!" said Minami, tilting her head away from Keima's. She then felt a hand on her chin pull her back into position, Keima Katsuragi's eyes peering into her soul.

"Elsie, please read the book aloud," said Keima, his leer unwavering. Minami was shocked. _How in the world did scrawny Elsie get the book!?_

"Blue stands for-"

Before Elsie could speak, Minami grabbed a rice ball from Mizuki's bag, and shoved it down Keima's throat. He foamed at the mouth, the foul taste even surpassing Elsie's in ickiness.

Consciousness escaped his grasp as he sank into the depths of the River Stix.

_"Kami Nii-sama!"_

* * *

**If you want to review, but don't know what to add, here are a few guide questions:**

**a.) This chapter gives more focus to Akihisa's inner circle of friends than most of the other chapters. Are you against that?**

**b.) I've tried capturing the essence of Akihisa's everyday life, instead of Keima's godliness. Do you want me to mix the two together, or do you want either side to be dominant? (If the latter, please specify which side you're on)**

**c.) Can you _still_ see the ending?**

**Don't forget to review, and I'll see you later!**


	10. Mizuki, Minami, and a Bath

******Beta Reader Reply: You got me there! I'll be sure to watch out for those S's next time!**

******Whoa, finished so many chapters! I'm on _fire_! Even my Beta, _Random_, is on fire! Yes, say goodbye to those silly unedited chapters, because _Random_ is now on duty!**

******Disclaimer in earlier chapters**

******Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Ten: Mizuki, Minami, and a Bath**

* * *

Once he escaped Death's grasp, Keima woke up in a studio-sized room, with a few futons lying around. He scanned the area, identifying Yuuji Sakamoto, Hideyoshi Kinoshita, and Kouta Tsuchiya. Once Kouta noticed Keima wake up, he gathered the rest into a circle. Yuuji came out of curiosity, while Hideyoshi came for business.

"Do you want to know what happened after you fainted?" asked Hideyoshi, glancing at Keima. He shook his head.

"Let's just skip to the topic," said Keima, pulling out his handheld console. It looked fine, though it could use a little polishing. Then he noticed Kouta extending his hand. Sighing at the prospect, Keima brought out an _eroge _(Erotic Game) and placed it in Voyeur's hand.

"Wait, why are Yuuji and Hideyoshi here?" asked Keima. He would like it if the conversation were to remain confidential.

"Hideyoshi was blackmailed by the same person," said Kouta, looking at the _bishounen_. His gaze then landed on Yuuji. "I have no idea to why he's here."

"What? Can't a guy help his friends?"

"Says the guy who threw his supposed 'friend' into a warzone," snapped Keima. He didn't want the information to potentially leak out.

"W-Whatever," said Yuuji, turning his head away. Category: _Tsundere_. Wait, did Keima just classify a guy!? Gross. It was probably due to the aftereffects of Chihiro and Yui's Conquest.

"...Anyway, the blackmailer is a girl." Gotcha! Miharu definitely fell under the "female" category, whether Keima liked it or not. He hoped the next piece of info had "Orange hair", or "Likes flat chested women".

"She also has a unique burn mark on her butt," said Kouta. Hideyoshi sighed. Of course that's what Voyeur would look out for. "Yeah, that's all I got."

Keima sighed. He wasn't going to get anywhere with only this much information. "First, we have to come up with a prime suspect."

"How about Aiko Kudou?" said Hideyoshi. "She's as good as Voyeur with technology."

"But she doesn't have a definite motive," countered Keima. He brought out his PFP, and started to play. "It's Miharu Shimizu. She has a motive, and she has 'contacts', so she could easily get some dirt on us."

"Even if we assume that Miharu's the culprit," said Yuuji, sounding a little too skeptical, "How are we supposed to confirm it? Go into the Girl's Bath?" Keima smirked. He had a crazy plan up his sleeve.

"Obviously," said Keima, hitting the send button on his PFP. After a split second, Elsie entered the room, holding up... air. Well, it looked like air to everyone besides Keima and Elsie. "The rest of the girls are taking a bath, right Elsie?"

"Yes _Kami-sama_," said Elsie, the other three still shocked at both her sudden appearance, and at the word "_Kami-sama_". Keima looked at the time chart again. He had around twenty minutes to complete the mission, maybe twenty five if you count the amount of time it takes to get changed. "You're going into the girl's bath? It's kinda like Ayumi's second Capture, when you stole her panti- mph!"

Keima stopped her before she could get anything else out. This piqued the others' curiosity even more. Panti- sounded a lot like panty in the minds of the feminine boy, the lazy genius, and the perverted ninja. Keima whisked the brochure out of Hideyoshi's hands, shaking the three out of their reverie. The brunette leaned towards the _baka_, whispering into her ear.

"Ah... okay, I'll do it!" said Elsie, flying off to where the bath was located. Keima picked up the Robe, and covered himself in it, making him invisible. He could only hope Elsie would do her job.

* * *

Elsie, stark naked, approached Haqua. Who was also nude. They were both in the bathroom, and it has been around two minutes since she's been told the plan.

"Haqua!" said Elsie. "Can I talk to you? In private?" Haqua shuffled over to the li'l devil. Elsie took a look around, making sure that no one could listen in on their conversation. Just to make sure, she made Haqua soundproof everything in a one meter radius with her Celestial Robe. "Keima's going to come into the Girl's Bath using my Robe!"

"What!? We've got to stop that pervert!" exclaimed Haqua, misunderstanding the whole situation. She extended her hand, a scythe flying into her outstretched arm. Before she could take a step forward, Elsie went in front of her, flailing her arms like a madman.

"No, it's for the Conquest!" said Elsie. Instead of heeding her words, she nudged the dimwitted devil aside, put on her uniform swiftly, and raced out the door, sickle in hand. Elsie, who was about to chase after the Valedictorian, was stopped by a hand on her shoulder. Shrieking a short little shriek out of shock, Elsie turned around, revealing Keima Katsuragi. "_K-Kami Nii-sama_!?" She looked up, looking at an air vent without a cover.

"I knew you'd mess it up, but it still amazes me. Nevertheless, I planned ahead," said Keima, shaking his head at the display. He then composed himself, brandishing the PFP in his hand. He pressed a new button on it, making a small camera pop up a little to the left of the L button. He then rubbed the console against his cheek. "Ah, I love you modified PFP! Though I never knew the camera mod would come in handy..."

He pranced around the bathhouse, staring at female butts. Elsie wondered if Haqua was right after all. Then, he approached Miharu Shimizu. He grabbed onto her towel with his right hand and pulled down. Instantly, Miharu's backside was exposed to all. Keima took a few pictures, making sure both Miharu's face and burn mark were in the frame.

"Elsie, get two Detention Bottles ready." Then, he flipped the camera shut, and walked up to Mizuki. Dragging her into an empty stall, Keima removed the disguise.

"A-Akihisa-kun!?" exclaimed Mizuki, flustered. She would've gone on a diet if she had known that Akihisa was going to peek at her wet, almost nude body. The only things separating Keima and the pink-ette were the boy's clothes and the girl's towel. "What're you doi- mph!"

"Please, just hear me out. I'm not here just to see your body," said Keima, his finger on her lips. All Mizuki could think of was how close Keima was to her. The close proximity was killing her. "I have something to tell you."

"I-I love you!" said Keima, swooping in for a kiss. Instantly, the Spirit was booted out of the buxom lady. He could only hope that Elsie was able to catch the runaway. Without another word, Keima turned invisible, and left the busty lady blushing. He scanned the crowd, till he found who he was looking for. He grabbed Minami by the hair, and reeled her into a different cubicle. He turned visible, but it only served to agitate the woman.

"Aki, you better have a good reason, or so help me..."

"I just need to tell you something!" said Keima, his hands enveloping Minami's. All of a sudden, it got a lot warmer in the little stall. Minami tried backing up, only to meet the cold tiles of the shower. Keima zoned in. "I-I love you!"

Yet another Spirit was evacuated. Yet another Spirit was caught. Keima sighed in relief. The whole fiasco was almost over. Now all he had to do now was bring the blackmailer to justice.

* * *

**If you want to leave a review, but don't know what to say besides "Update!", here are a few questions to answer:**

**a.) Anyone out of character?**

**b.) Was the Conquest satisfying, or was it too simple?**

**c.) Who would be the next Capture target if you were to choose?**

**d.) Any more suggestions?**

**Anyway, please thank my Beta Reader, _Random_, review, and I'll see you later!**


	11. Me, Youko, and the Truth

**First off: Sorry _Random_! I'm going to have to update without you! It's okay though, 'cause I'll try sending the next chapter later!**

**Anyway, a little shout-out to _foldguy24_ and _Miss Hanako-chan_ for being faithful to this story by revewing each and every chapter.**

**An answer to why the Conquest was so quick and easy: Minami and Mizuki were already Captured by Akihisa Yoshii. All Keima needed to do was give a little push.**

**Disclaimer: I own neither _The World Only God Knows_ nor _Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu_**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Eleven: Me, Youko, and the Truth**

* * *

"Ah, it _is_ Shimizu-san!" exclaimed Hideyoshi, looking at the photos Akihisa brought. Yuuji was still a little skeptical, while Voyeur was putting the _eroge_ into his new PFP. "But what was her motive for me? I was blackmailed into staying away from the boys around me, and Miharu wouldn't benefit from that!"

"Then the answer is clear," said Keima, taking his godly pose. With a gleam in his eyes, he said, "Miharu was working for someone!"

"What!?" exclaimed all three of them. Hideyoshi then spoke up, "Who do you think's the accomplice?"

"Think of all the girls close to you," said Keima, still not used to interacting with the Real. He let his mind process the possibilities. Minami and Mizuki were instantly eliminated, since they weren't the kind to blackmail others, that much Keima was sure of. Aiko Kudou was a lecherous woman, and could get any man she wanted if she tried hard enough. Shouko Kirishima, thanks to Keima's help, wasn't anchored down by anyone anymore. If you consider those variables, then the only possibility is... "The culprit is Yuuko Kinoshita."

"M-My own sister!?" cried the bishounen, standing up. "Bu-But why!?" Of course, the girly boy had already considered Yuuko as a suspect, but to go so far as blackmail!?

"I think I may have a hand in that," said Keima, bowing his head. His mind went back to the rejection he made that day. Just like Chihiro's second Conquest. "She thinks I like you, right?"

"Uh... maybe?" said Hideyoshi, as if admitting that the statement was true would cement the lie that Hideyoshi Kinoshita was a girl.

"Well, she probably didn't want you to 'take' me," said the brunette. He took a deep breath, and continued. "She confessed to me before. The pain must've gotten to her, and the mindset 'If I can't have it, then no one can!' became her own."

The others were shocked, well, everyone except for Kouta, who was too busy enjoying the "Special Scenes" of the _eroge_ he was playing. Hideyoshi then had to ask, "So how are we going to fix this?"

To this, Keima had an ironic smirk on his face. He pulled out his PFP, and said, "Don't worry, for both Miharu and Yuuko will 'forget' about it soon enough."

* * *

After the uneventful events after that first day [Haqua (happily) erased the memories of all those who were affiliated with the Capture, and the blackmail, including those of Kouta, Yuuji, and Hideyoshi], it was back to school for Keima and the crew, and along with school came back Keima's gaming time.

"How did you Capture the girls so easily?" asked Haqua, right after Elsie retold the story of the Conquest. Kanon wanted to know too, so she could stop him. It was pulling him farther and farther away from her, and Kanon didn't like that. "As I recall, the Conquest didn't last too long, only a few days."

"Phase them out Keima, just phase them out," murmured Keima, trying to ignore the line of questioning. "Game, game, _game!_"

At the lack of response, Haqua smashed the PFP out of Keima's hands. He pulled out yet another one, and continued playing. Kanon brought out her stun gun, and electrocuted the gaming system, frying both him, and his chance to play "_Fate/Hollow Ataraxia_". Shaking the pain off, Keima simply reached into Kanon's pocket and produced yet another. This time Haqua coerced Elsie to turn her hagoromo into a javelin, and strike the PFP. For once, her aim proved true, producing a good-sized hole in the PFP. Keima tossed the junk away, reached into Haqua's shirt, and yet another one comes out of her bra.

"How the Hell did it get there!?" said Haqua, as her hands flew to her chest, guarding it from the perverted human.

"You wear an oversized bra, do you not?" said Keima, wiping the "cooties" off of the gaming system. Keima was spot on. If you look at Haqua, you'll see that she looks as endowed as Shouko, which is false. She should be as flat as a washboard, a Minami, if I may. "I simply stuck the PFP in the empty space."

"B-But that's impossible!" cried Haqua, referencing a certain movie from far, far away. "My chest isn't _that_ small, isn't it!?" Kanon and Elsie simply looked away. Rage overcame Haqua, so the cold and merciless side took over. "Katsuragi, prepare to die!"

Haqua picked up Keima by the collar, but before she could deliver her punishment, a teacher came by. The pink haired 2-A Homeroom teacher walked up to Haqua, and said, "Fighting is not allowed in the hallway."

"Y-Yes, Ms. Takahashi," said Haqua. She was about to put Keima down, when Ms. Takahashi stopped her.

"But if it's to hurt him, go ahead," said the person with the highest grades among Fumizuki's women. Yes, Keima had dethroned her for the spot at number one. "I'll just pretend I didn't see anything." She then walked away, leaving a helpless Otamegane in the clutches of a devil capable of fighting off the Vintage. Haqua chuckled, feeling like a true devil. Before she could swing her scythe, Kanon, who didn't want her lover hurt by anyone other than her, and Elsie, who had uncovered her Sensor, stopped her.

"Kami Nii-sama, that teacher has a Runaway Spirit!"

"_~Auah!_" sighed Keima, copying Elsie's cry. "Let Haqua handle it!" Before he could escape, Haqua stretched out he arm and caught the gamer by the back of the shirt.

"Me!?" exclaimed, shaking the crazy Otamegane. "How can I Capture Spirits without a partner!?" Keima slapped the hand away, and took a pose, pointing a finger at Kanon.

"Partner up with Kanon! If you need me, I'll be in the classroom, playing gam- _gwah_!" shouted Keima, the butt of the scythe shoved against his stomach. He shook the pain away, his mantra being this: _Just keep on pressing the button!_ Then Minami amd Mizuki appeared, smirks on their faces. Keima didn't like the look of that.

"_Ohayou_ Aki!" greeted the girl with the ponytail, waving her arm. In response, Elsie, Kanon, and Haqua slid away, already deciding to be spectators. Keima sighed. "Let's go hit the crepe shack!"

"..._Game?_"

"Of course we can go to the arcade Akihisa!" said Mizuki, her silky voice akin to acid in Keima's mind. "Right after the fourteen hour movie we want to watch, right Minami?" She looked back from the flat-chested one, only to find air. Then, she saw Akihisa on his knees, in front of a girl with... a bat? Or was it a crowbar?

"Fine, I'll Capture Ms. Takahashi, just get me out of here!" begged Keima. He looked so pitiful, that it was tearjerking. Only the most coldhearted of people could ignore his pleas. Instantly, Haqua and company "vanished". Once Minami and Mizuki left to look for Akihisa, Haqua removed the Robe, Keima and company visible again.

"I shall Capture Ms. Takahashi!" proclaimed Keima, taking a pose. Then he flipped out his PFP. "Right after I save, of course."

* * *

**Here are some Guide Questions:**

**a.) Is anyone out of character?**

**b.) Is Youko Takahashi a good heroine?**

**c.) Do you want anyone else to appear, like Ayumi Takahara, or Akira Yoshii? Tell me.**

**Anyway, please answer the GQs, and greet my Beta Reader.**

**Goodbye!**


	12. You, Me, and the God of Conquest

**Edit: My Beta's been housekeping the place, so you'd better be grateful! (Haha jk!)**

* * *

_Chapter Twelve: You, Me, and the God of Conquest_

* * *

"Youko Takahashi. She has normal measurements, is bad at baseball, and is the Head Teacher of Year Two," relayed Elsie, the pink tablet in hand. "She used to be considered the smartest in the academy, till Akihisa Yoshii took her spot at first place."

"It seems _too_ simple," debated Haqua. She put her left hand on her hip, her right hand gripping the scythe. "She's like that teacher you've conquered before... Jun was her name, right?"

Kanon sighed. From idols, to teachers, to martial artists, to Deities, Keima can Capture, and has Captured, them all. That only made Kanon want to "tie the knot" quicker.

"No," contradicted Keima. "She's more akin to Nanaka Haibara, the chess addict." Kanon's smile drooped even further. Her yandere half was threatening to take over, and Kanon was almost losing control. "She has a superiority complex. Since she lost to me, she would want to have a rematch. Since I'm the final boss, someone else would have to conquer Ms. Takahashi."

"Of course, I'll still be an integral part of the Conquering Campaign," added Keima, responding to the glare Haqua gave him, "but instead of the love interest, I will be the main antagonist."

"Then who is going to conquer that teacher!?" complained Haqua, ticked off at the show of nonchalance. Couldn't the human be serious this one time!?

"...Someone who can also beat her, but loses to me..." muttered Keima. "But who can fill in that role!?" Then a tap to the shoulder made Keima turn around. Right in front of him was Shiori Shiomiya, a book pressed against her chest. "Oh, of course."

"Shiori, can you help me Capture Youko Takahashi?"

* * *

In the end, it was Keima that was Captured. Well, if Capture equals taken on a date. Minami and Mizuki had their arms hooked around Keima's, preventing any kind of egress. There would be no escape for the Capturing God. He shoved the thoughts out of his mind. They were already at the theater.

"Aki, it's your turn to pick out a movie," said Minami. Keima sighed. There wouldn't be a movie that he'd lik- Then the most glorious sight appeared. Beside the usual blockbusters, there was a movie adaption of the game "One Leaf". Keima's jaw dropped.

"Yokkyun!?" exclaimed Keima, his God of Conquest mode activating. The gamer started to glow gold. Keima broke from the two girls's grip, and literally floated towards the cashier. "**_YOKKYUN!_**"

"Hold it!" exclaimed Minami, grabbing his arm and put him in a wrestling hold. It formed cracks in the flooring. Mizuki stood on the side worried. Why was he so excited to watch a badly rated movie? Keima miraculously broke out of the lock. That was the power of the God of Conquest mode. He raced towards the cashier.

"Three student tickets for 'One Leaf' please," said Keima, waving the bills in front of the lady. Once he got the slips, he ran up to the ladies, picked them up, and raced into the theater. At least he had the courtesy to actually buy tickets for the other two.

* * *

"Say 'ah' Akihisa," said Mizuki, a bite of crepe hovering above Keima's lips. His God of Conquest mode had already worn off, and so did his motivation. He was like a sloth at this point.

"W-Wait, I wanna go first!" objected Minami, nudging Mizuki's fork with her own.

"I don't think it matters," rebutted Mizuki. "Say 'ah'!"

"Ah..." Just as the treat touched Keima's lips, three forks were launched, pinning the forks into the nearby wall. The trio looked around, their gaze landing on... Miharu Shimizu, who wielded forks, knifes, and other cutlery.

"Why were you feeding that pig!?" Then another onslaught was launched.

* * *

Toshimitsu Kubo was just strolling through the city, reading a book. Of course, within that book had contents... not safe for work. One word: Yaoi. Then, he felt a disturbance. He took a defensive position, and held up his book.

_THUD THUD THUD_

He uncovered his face, three forks sticking on the cover. Then he was tackled by his love interest, Akihisa Yoshii. The brunette got up, and ran away, followed by a flat chested woman, a busty pink-ette, and an angry lesbian. He got up, saying, "You dirtied me, Yoshii."

* * *

After running for a while, Keima stopped, his gamer body not able to take any more exercise. Plus, he, Minami and Mizuki had already parted. This would be his final stand. If he wasn't able to turn the tides, he would get a fork in his throat, and a decapitated Elsie. He couldn't afford to lose.

"Heh, giving up already Akihisa?" said Miharu, smirking. She lifted her hand, the glint of the blade intimidating Keima. He stood his ground. His mind raced. Route chosen. She threw the blades, making Keima sacrifice his PFP to keep him safe. He knew he should've gotten the fiberglass PFP case. Before Miharu could reload, Keima grabbed hold of Miharu's hands, clenching them tight. Miharu tried to break free, but for some reason, was unable to.

"Miharu, I-I... challenge you to a Summoning Battle!" exclaimed Keima. Luckily, he had made it to school before his stamina was expended. "Please, Mrs. Takeuchi!" The summoning field expanded, enveloping the two. Miharu broke free, and yelled, "Summon!"

"Summon!"

* * *

**Keima Katsuragi/Akihisa Yoshii vs. Miharu Shimizu**

_**500 vs 167**_

* * *

"You're finishe-"

_"Objection!"_


	13. Me, Sisters, and Watermelons

**Hello! I'm back from my Outreach, so my updates should come regularly. As for what my Beta is doing, he'll be sweeping the decks I call "Previous Chapters". Wish him luck!**

**_SPOILERS:_ To give back to the fans, I've decided to bring in a highly-requested character: _Akira Yoshii_! Interpretation on her incestuous tendencies can lie on two sides: Playful sibling teasing, or full out "in love" love disguised as mere teasing. I've decided to go with the latter.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kami Nomi zo Shiru Sekai or Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen: Me, Sisters, and Watermelons**

* * *

"Objection!" exclaimed Youko Takahashi, pointing a finger at Keima Katsuragi. Her avatar jumped in, and used its whip to redirect the attack. "I'll punish Yoshii for you, so just sit back, maybe get a little popcorn, and enjoy. Summon-"

"Hold it!" rebutted Keima, copying her pose, he grabbed Shiori Shiomiya by the sleeve."You two can pair up, and I'll choose her as a partner!" Youko weighed the choices, severely underestimating the power of Shiori's memory.

"Fine then, take that!" replied the teacher, her glare shifting from Keima to Shiori. The wallflower wilted under the fiery gaze, till Keima put a hand on her shoulder. She straightened up a little, and said, "Sum- Mark of Athena!" See, Shiori had been holding the said Heroes of Olympus book. Keima sighed as Youko and Miharu laughed.

"S-Sorry Keima," apologized the introvert. "Summon..." The girl jumped a little as a little avatar appeared in front of her, the little Summon wielding a book and staff, or in other words, a mage's tools of the trade.

* * *

**Akihisa / Katsuragi & Shiori Shiomiya VS Youko Takahashi and Miharu Shimizu**

**700+350 VS 700+95**

* * *

The Team Only God Knows obliterated the opposition. Keima's mecha had charged up on energy, and to prevent the both of them from losing points, Shiori's mage summoned a shield, making Youko and Miharu's normal attacks pretty useless. Of course, thanks to the difference in points, Youko burst through the magic after getting serious, making Shiori lose a little HP. Of course, it was God's plan. Youko and Miharu were now in single file, and within Keima's range. He charged, crashing into Youko and Miharu's Summon. Thanks to the direct attack, they fell immediately. Mrs. Taekuchi, a little confused, declared Keima and Shiori the winners, and dispelled the ESB field. Once she left, an air vent cover fell, and Ironman descended upon the four, Mission Impossible-style.

"All those that were KIA must take Supplementary classes!" exclaimed the man, picking up Miharu by the hand. He tugged on the rope, and they were pulled up by some unknown force. Apparently, teachers were exempted from the KIA rule, as Youko Takahashi was untouched. She scoffed, turned around, and walked away. Keima sighed.

"Fifty percent completion already?"

* * *

Of course, life was a cruel mistress. Keima, followed by his little harem of four, opened the door, revealing... a bra capable of carrying half a liter of fluid handing off of a clothesline. Everyone excluding Keima gasped, the latter sucked into his visual novel. No one, especially not Haqua, had breasts that colossal. If the scythe wielding demon wore the two massive cups, Keima could probably stuff three PFPs in it, maybe a few game cases. Keima paid the new addition no heed, ducking under the feminine undergarment. Kanon brought out her stun gun, ready to strike the mystery woman where it counted.

"Aki," said an entrancing voice akin to a succubus'. Keima froze, grabbing Elsie's hand. He silently ordered her to bring out her Celestial Robe, to analyze the sultry woman once the Capturing God forced out her name. "Is that you?"

"Sorry, I can't hear you too well," said Keima. "I can't tell who you are! And where are you?"

"Oh Aki, how could you forget your own sister!?" exaggerated the woman. Keima, his eye twitching, made Elsie give him the mystery woman's identity. Her hands tapped her Celestial Tablet. The girl's was known as Akira Yoshii, Akihisa's semi-incestuous sister. "Anyway, I'm in the room changing, so feel free to drop by!"

"N-No thanks, sis," said Keima, ushering the others into Akihisa's room. Once he made sure that they were out of sight, he sat down on the couch, forming a script in his mind. "Not to be mean, but why are you here?"

"To finally win a kiss from my forsaking brother!" exclaimed Akira, opening the door. Keima braced for the worst, thinking back to the likes of Yui Guido, Hinoki Kasuga, and Mizuki Himeji, who all have very generous busts, but all the mental barriers he put up broke once he laid eyes on the... things.

_Watermelons. Two gigantic watermelons._

"I guess it's time to start my inspection- wait, what is _that_!?" said Akira, discovering a pretty feminine satchel, with flowers, cute skulls, and firetrucks. Keima sighed, preparing to send a certain devil to a certain faraway place. Norway could be good, but maybe the Netherlands could be a better choice. Hmm... "Aki, have you had guests coming over?"

"...Is that wrong?" asked Keima, not sure what rules the sister had imposed. Once she looked at him with a sultry glance, Keima gulped. He hadn't really been a fan of the incest genre of galges, and was starting to regret it. It would've helped a little.

"That was one of the two conditions, right Aki?" said Akira, giving him a side glance. The one donning a white bathrobe made her way towards the kitchen, grabbing an apple. She made sure to get her lips succulent and palatable. "Don't tell me you forgot."

"And if I did forget?" questioned Keima. The "conditions" weren't stated in her _Hellian_ profile, so Keima didn't have a clear idea on what the terms were. Of course, taking Akira's personality in mind, eliminating the impossible, and picking the two most likely rules, it meant that the rules were-

"Then prepare to be ruined for marrage!" cheered Akira, her arms tucked under her twin boulders. She hefted the massive objects up, making Keima's eye twitch. "Oh, our kiss will be so hot and luscious-"

"Thirty minutes of gaming each day," said Keima, wincing. That rule lacked the one thousand four hundred ten minutes Keima usually spent on games per day. "And no sexual defiance."

"So you do remember!" remarked Akira, smirking. All Keima wanted to do was wipe that smirk off her face and get his gaming time back. "Well, let's investigate your room. That girly bag looks very suspicious!"

"Sure," said Keima, swinging the door open. Akira Yoshii was now face to face with God's harem. The buxom lady frowned, then smirked. She now had the leverage she needed to bring her beloved to America and have him all to herself.

"All these deductions add up to... six thousand," said Akira, writing down her discovery on a notepad she spontaneously produced. "Unless your cumulative scores are greater than or equal to six thousand, say 'Goodbye!' to living alone!"

"Oh, that's good," said Keima, reaching into his bag and tossing his report card at Akira. He then picked up his PFP and started to play, resulting into an additional fifty point deduction. Akira's eye twitched, but her mouth curved into a combination of a smile and a frown.

"W-Well Aki, I'm... so proud," mumbled Akira, noticing that the only thing holding her brother back was not gone. She wasn't needed anymore. She turned away, but was stopped by the hand on her shoulder. She whipped around, facing the Capturing God. The said deity had decided to give her his "favor", out of pity.

"Even if it seems as if I don't require your assistance anymore," said Keima, "I-I need you here. I need what a sister provides, and since you're my only sister..." He leaned in and kissed the busty girl, resealing the potential gap. "Goodnight sis."

"G-Good night, Aki," whispered Akira, her fingers gravitating towards her mouth. She forgot all about the other girls. All she could remember was the feel of her brother's lips on hers.

* * *

**So that's that. Please leave a review (Just leaving a simple "UPDATE SOON!" review would be fine, but the loner the review, the better!), thank my Beta _Random, _and I'll see you later**.

**PS : If you _are _going to leave a review, suggest a new Capture target please!**


	14. Me, Capture, and Recordings

**Sorry if this feels a little rushed, but I was pressed for time.**

**Disclaimer in earlier chapters**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen: Me, Capture, and Recordings**

* * *

"Why Yuuko!?" asked Keima. After the events that had transpired earlier that morning, Keima had one question for the girl. When he didn't get a response, he did the usual. Physical contact in close proximity. (Luckily, if Keima initiates the contact, he doesn't feel funny.) As expected, he got a reaction. Yuuko whipped around, a fire in her eyes.

"I don't know what you're talking about," said Yuuko, who looked away. Keima grabbed her cheek (softly), and made her look at him. For some reason, it made the teen blush. She looked into his bespectacled eyes- wait, he has glasses!? When Yuuko blinked, the glasses were gone, but she could have sworn they were there.

"Then I'll say it loud and clear," said the boy, who backed away, taking a godly pose. "Why'd you declare a Summon War!? No benefits for you or your classmates, you'll make your other friends here in F suffer, and it's just a lose-lose situation!"

"It's... complicated..." mumbled Yuuko, a little surprised at the sudden confrontation. She twiddled with her thumbs, an action more befitting a shy girl like Shiori than a proud lady like Yuuko. "I can't say-"

"Youko Kirishima put you up to this... didn't she?"

"What!? N-No, of course not..." That wasn't going to satisfy the Capturing God. He walked away, smirking inside. Youko had thought she had won the "battle", but she hadn't won anything. Instead of agitating her "rival", she merely set up a trap for herself, and Keima was willing to use the trap for his own purposes. See, Keima can Capture Youko directly, since she sees him as a rival, and not a student, and Keima was going to use both his status as a rival, and the event Youko established to finish the deal. He raced for the faculty room.

* * *

"Where is that baka!?" exclaimed Minami, stomping her foot in frustration. The whole day had just been the worst. A declaration of war, a failed Japanese Exam, and to top it off, a non-punctual Akihisa! Didn't he know he had a date with she and Mizuki!?

"Maybe if we wait, he'll come," said Mizuki, twiddling with her fingers.

"I doubt it," said Minami, cracking her knuckles. "Let's fetch him." They went from the school gate to the inside of the academy. Minami wanted to just run around and try to find him, but Mizuki stopped her, because she wanted to use logic.

"Where does Akihisa love to go?" The two girls looked at each other, the final piece of the puzzle falling into place. "The rooftop!"

* * *

"The rooftop?" questioned Youko Kirishima. "Why do you want to talk to me up here of all places?"

"I have my own reasons," stated Keima, pushing up his glasses. "Why'd you declare war on 2-F?"

"I have my own reasons," copied Youko, smirking. "And besides, you don't have any proof that I was the one who made the declaration."

"Your first statement, 'I have my own reasons', is proof," rebutted the boy. Keima (begrudgingly) slapped on a pitiful expression "Just please tell me why!"

Smirking at the desperate look on Keima's face, Youko said, "I merely wanted to break your morale-"

"And boost your own," interjected Keima, finding the opening. He took pursuit. "I wonder why you needed to do that. You feel... insecure, don't you?"

"O-Of course not! I have no reason to fear a teen-"

"So he's a teenager!" exclaimed Keima, pointing out Youko's slip-up. As he pressed her, he knew that he was slowly breaking down her mental barriers. "Please, Ms. Takahashi, tell me what's bothering you!"

"O-Of course not!" cried the teacher, backing away. She hadn't expected her rival to act all worried, and it kinda touched her heart. Kinda. "Wait, what are you doin-"

Keima locked lips with the teacher. Just like Chihiro's Arc, the kiss wasn't enough. Keima had to force the Spirit out with his words. Facing the dazed Youko, he said, "I-I know you don't want to share your problems with me, but whenever you're down... just count on me."

That seemed to hit the spot. The phantasm exited the woman, and spiraled towards the sky. Dusting off his hands, he drew his PFP, he walked towards the exit.

* * *

"N-No way!" exclaimed Minami, her hands balling up into fists. She growled, and was about to lash out at Akihisa, when Mizuki stopped her. She had her finger to her lips, signalling for Minami to be quiet. Akihisa dusted his hands off, and left. Once Youko woke from her reverie, and left too, Minami and Mizuki emerged from their hiding places.

"What happened?" muttered Minami, a little confuse. Okay, REALLY confused. The boy she liked - no, loved - just kissed the smartest teacher in the whole school. On the lips. It just blew her mind. She hoped that it was just a bad dream, but seeing is believing. Akihisa Yoshii cornered Youko Kirishima, and kissed her, without protest.

"I'm not so sure," replied Mizuki. "But I do have a recording."

"Okay, then let's find out the truth!"

* * *

**Please review, subscribe, favorite, and thank my Beta Reader and I, and I'll see you later!**


	15. Capturing the Capturing God

**Wow, sorry for not updating for more than two weeks now!**

**Disclaimer in earlier chapters**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_Chapter Fifteen: Capturing the Capturing God_

* * *

"We're calling off the ESB," said Yuuko Kinoshita. She bowed, and exited the room. Once all were sure that she was out of earshot, Class F cheered. Without proper strategies and preparation, they would have gotten their butts handed to them.

"...What happened?" asked Yuuji, looking off into the far distance. One day they declare a war, the next day they call it off. Yuuji couldn't help but assume that Yuuko was planning something.

"I-I have no idea!" said Elsie a little too quickly. Akihisa quickly chastised her. The guilt on Elsie's face and the look of annoyance on Akihisa's gave a lot away, but without solid evidence, Yuuji couldn't confront them. Oh, the life and times of a class rep.

Of course, Keima was also observant. Once Elsie's guilt appeared, Mizuki's eyes darted towards Keima, and so did Minami's. Keima pocketed his PFP and pulled Haqua into the corner of the room. "Did you do the memory erasing procedure correctly? And if you did, did you erase Minami and Mizuki's memories?"

"Yes and yes," said Haqua. She still didn't like taking orders from a human, especially not Keima. "Why?"

"...Nothing." Keima, deciding to assess the danger level, approached the duo. "Hey Minami, Mizuki!"

"Rooftop, lunchtime," said Mizuki, her eyes that of a_ yandere_. She exited the room, and was followed by Minami, who said, "Or else."

Keima sighed. What did he get himself into?

* * *

"I have a bad feeling about this," confessed Keima. They were in front of the stairway to the rooftop, and the boy was relaying orders. "Haqua and Elsie, please ready your Celestial Robes. Shiori, be ready to Summon, if needed, and Kanon, please ready your stun gun."

"What for?" asked Kanon. Since she wasn't in her _Yandere_ form, she was a pacifist. She wouldn't... electrocute someone!

"You'll see, when the time comes," replied Keima, being a little too cryptic to Kanon's liking. Before she could ask Keima for a more specific answer, he added, "Hint: It won't be a person you'll be electrocuting."

Then Keima swung the doors open.

* * *

"_Fuwafuwari, fuwafuwaru_..." quietly sang Shouko Kirishima. After deleting her old "music" and putting some actual songs in her MP3 player, Shouko made it a habit to go to the rooftop to enjoy her tunes in solitude. She was on the side of the academy which had moss and grime (away from the rooftop entrance), but she liked it like that. It gave her some solitude from-

"Akihisa Yoshii!" Shouko whipped around, and saw some figures battling it out through words. Deciding to take a closer look, Shouko his behind a barricade, making sure she wasn't seen.

"Hey Minam- whoa!" exclaimed Keima. He was now a foot off the ground, Minami's fist balling up his collar. Her unoccupied hand twitched, and flew straight into Keima's face. He flew, but was caught by the ankle and was swung around, till he was eventually put into a headlock. Keima felt like what he would've felt like after he would accidentally look at Ms. "Haqua du Lot of Death Flags" naked. "What the heck-"

"What's the meaning of this!?" exclaimed Mizuki, and shoved the camcorder into Keima's face. A video played, which consisted of Youko Takahashi's capture on the rooftop. If you knew where and what to look for, you could barely make out a flying Elsie and a gigantic glass jar sucking in a phantasm à la Ghostbusters.

"I'd explain if you'd please get out-of-the-way," said Keima, struggling against Minami's hold. Mizuki backed away a little, holding the camera. And a jar of Jelly.

"You must tell us Akihisa," said the buxom pink-ette, "or else you may get hurt." This was accentuated by Minami squeezing harder. If Keima didn't act fast, he could risk losing consciousness.

"Kanon, get the camcorder!" cried Keima, as Elsie dropped the Celestial Robe's guise. Kanon dashed up to a defenseless Mizuki, and stabbed the camcorder with her stun gun. With a sizzle and a pop, the camcorder was finished. Before the two women could react, Haqua wiped their memory banks, making them faint. With a quiet nod from Keima, Shiori and Elsie dragged the girls away. Keima pinched the bridge of his nose.

Something didn't feel right.

"Let's go, Kanon, Haqua," said Keima, leading the girls downstairs. Once Shouko was sure they were gone, she got up from her makeshift hiding spot. She decided to keep the information secret till the time was right, unlike Minami and Mizuki.

She hoped she didn't have to use it at all.

* * *

"You owe me - no, all of us - a date," stated Haqua, hooking her arm around Keima, not unlike Minami. Kanon occupied the other side, while Elsie and Shiori took up the space in the back, ensuring that the Capturing God couldn't escape that way. Since their destination was in front, it would be fine if Keima were to run away in that direction. Basically, Keima Katsuragi was trapped. "Elsie has five tickets to a movie theater nearby, so you're taking all of us there!"

"Look Haqua! It's your pride as a New Devil!" exclaimed Keima, pointing to the side with the arm Kanon held. Haqua looked that way, screaming "_Where_!?" Keima pulled Kanon into a deep yet swift kiss, and gently shoved her aside, and dived into the conveniently placed forest. He ran away, and dove into a rut, which the others stepped over. Getting up, the unnoticed Keima continued gaming, till a cage fell on him. Keima struggled against the cold bonds, till he decided to save his energy. After a moment, a shadowy silhouette appeared, a huge weapon of sorts in hand. A ring came from the skull like accessory, and the figure picked it up, saying, "Yes, the God has fallen. We are bringing him to you now." Her sword started to spark, and she swung, electrocuting Keima.

The God of Conquest lost consciousness.

* * *

_**Footnotes:**_

_****__Fuwafuwari, fuwafuwaru: A line from a certain anime opening. If you can guess the song, you get a shout out, and maybe some other stuff. (Random, we must discuss this later.)_

* * *

**Well that's a rap. Hopefully this makes up for the mini-hiatus.**


	16. Me, Ares, and Fallen Deities

**Two chapters in a week? Do I still do that!? Oh well, I guess it's our little treat because we're ranked 5th in the TWOGK X-Overs (According to Favorite Count). We're tied with one of the other fics, so we just need one big push! Fight on! Also, were 2nd place in the Baka to Test X-Overs (According to Favorite Count)!**

**By the way, things might take a darker turn, so hold on you your seats. Also, be open-minded with the new terms I made up. You'll see once you read through the chapter.**

**Disclaimer in earlier chapters**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_Chapter Sixteen: Me, Ares, and Fallen Deities_

* * *

"That Goddess damned Keima better be ready for a world of pain," said Haqua, gripping the shaft of her weapon so hard, that her knuckles turned white. Why had he abandoned them, when he owed the girls so much!? The group got out of the forest, just in time to see a hooded figure with a bag slung over its shoulder. Haqua, shaking her agitation away, zoned in on the net itself. Within the tangled confines was Keima Katsuragi, the person they were searching for.

Haqua almost lost all control, the "Defend Keima" instinct that she rarely used kicking in. Just before she dashed up to the suspicious silhouette, a hand on her shoulder stopped her. The devil whipped around, her gaze landing on... _Shiori_!?

"P-Please don't Haqua!" whisper-shouted Shiori, her tone short of normalcy (which to Shiori was shouting). "M-Maybe we should... follow her?" In a book she recently read, the spy, instead of confronting the villain, let the henchman lead him to his boss's HQ. Since Shiori almost never talks in coherent sentences, Haqua sensed that she should heed the girl's request, even if she _was_ a human.

The harem stealthily followed the person's tracks, which surprisingly led into a neighborhood familiar to Haqua. During a group project (Which Haqua aced, by the way), she, along with Elsie and Kanon (Keima decided to go solo) had to go to Hideyoshi's house. "Wait, no way!" Haqua hoped that she was wrong, but the name on the gate said differently.

_Kinoshita Estate_

* * *

"Ugh... Yokkyun?" said Keima, regaining his bearings. Remembering what had just transpired, Keima snapped into his analytic mode. His wrists and abdomen were strapped to what seemed like a wall, so Keima was currently immobile. Noticing the staircase in the corner, he deduced that he was trapped in a cellar, or a basement. Since the light flooding into the room from the staircase was the only light source, Keima could see nothing else. He then spotted a light switch next to the staircase. Keima kicked the air, sending the PFP hidden in his slacks flying towards the light switch. "Let there be light!"

And the light turned on. Keima didn't like breaking his gaming equipment (he only had seventeen left on his person), but it was necessary. Then a woman walked in, dressed in all black, like a Vintage member. He recognized her figure, and deduced that she was his captor. His glare intensified.

"Where are the Goddesses,_ Keima Katsuragi_!?" said the girl, fingering Keima's chin. He grimaced, not liking that she knew his real name. He decided to turn the tables around.

"Are you part of Vintage?" replied Keima. Depending on how the girl answered, he would be able to tell if she were lying.

"Are you part of a troupe of magicians?" sarcastically asked the woman. "Of course not. I mean; what is Vintage?"

"A group bent on destroying the Goddesses," answered Keima, deciding that she wasn't lying.

"Ooh, maybe Vintage and Archaic could join up!" cheered the girl, removing her hand from Keima's face. Keima's frown turned into a smirk: She just admitted that she was part of a group who wanted to kill off Deities, and that there was a group different from Vintage who also wanted the Goddess's powers gone. Then Keima's smirk was shattered by the next sentence. "Well, I'm done leaking information to you. Hm, I wonder if what I said was true or false."

Keima cursed under his breath. That just invalidated all the hints she dropped. Sure, they could all be true, but they could also be completely wrong. He couldn't trust the information. The girl continued, "Oh well. I see that you won't crack. It's fine by me."

The Zanbato appeared in her hand again, and said, "Good night, Keima." She whapped him with the flat, and Keima was knocked out.

* * *

Keima woke up, only to find himself in... his house!? Yes, he couldn't mistake the wall of games that lined the room. Sure, Akihisa had games of his own, but it didn't compare with Keima's. At his bedside was Tenri, who said, "K-Keima! Keima's awake-"

Her eyes suddenly narrowed, a golden halo appearing on her head. Diana took over. "Keima!?"

"Diana?!" Keima tried to stand up, but was unable to. Everything besides his mouth and his vitals was in a vegetative state.

"I get it now," sighed Diana. She looked skyward, and said, "Keima, you just faced Archaic."

"Wait... how did you know!?" exclaimed the boy, still unable to move. "And could you be less ambiguous?"

"Archaic... is a group of-"

"Devils?"

"No. These... are Fallen Gods. They're like us, so they can possess humans, but they are also like the Weiss, for they feed off of the _negative_ energy of the host. You just met the Anti-Mars, Ares," said Diana. Then Keima's body started to flicker. "Goodbye, Keima, and tell my sisters they're dead meat when they get back!"

* * *

"Hold it!" cried Haqua, pointing at the girl who had a sword pointed at Keima. "Get away from Akihisa!"

"You mean Keima, right?" said Ares, turning around. The smirk on her face sent shivers down Haqua's spine. The devil charged, and swung her scythe in a downward arc. Ares parried, and knocked Haqua away with the flat of the Zanbato, sending her crashing into a nearby wall.

While the two were locked in combat, the other girls approached the Captured God. Elsie turned her Robe into a javelin, and threw it at his bonds. Unlike last time, in Chapter Eleven, the weapon bounced off, the javelin too dull to penetrate the leather.

"K-Kanon," said Shiori, making Kanon look at her. "Try stabbing the leather with your stun gun right... here." In a different book, a stray lightning bolt hit the hero's bonds, setting him free. Shiori wanted Kanon to replicate that. Kanon obeyed, thrusting her weapon. After five seconds, the leather combusted, and Keima's left hand was freed. Kanon repeated the action, and Keima fell on top of her. Regaining consciousness, Keima said, "Sorry." He let her up, only to push her down as Haqua was flung over the party.

"Ares, I presume!" exclaimed Keima, pointing a finger at the Fallen Goddess. He knew he had to stall for time, while Kanon helped Haqua up. The former Goddess smirked.

"So were on a first-name basis now are we, _Mr. Katsuragi_?" asked Ares. Keima looked behind him: His troops, namely Kanon and Haqua, were ready.

"Of course we are, Mi'lady," flirted Keima, who bowed. Taking the opportunity, Haqua and Kanon leapt over the bent over boy and attacked. Kanon thrust her taser towards the enemy, but was easily sidestepped by Ares, which put her in Haqua's line of attack. Ares blocked the scythe, and swung.

She would've cleaved Haqua into two, had it not been for Kanon's taser, which stabbed the flat. The electricity coursed through the blade, and shocked Ares, making her stagger. Haqua closed in, slicing Ares in half. Well, it should have. Instead, the Fallen Goddess was knocked back, and an ominous aura leaked out of where the slash should have been.

"You... you only have cut off my connection with my host," said Ares, "You haven't seen the last of me, harem of Katsuragi! (Hey, that rhymed!)" Light spiraled out of the feminine body, and flew skyward, much like how an Escaped Spirit would fly out.

The most shocking thing of the day wasn't the existence of Anti-Goddesses, nor was it the appearance of a new Vintage, Archaic. What shocked them the most was the person the Fallen Deity possessed.

_Yuuko Kinoshita._

* * *

_**Footnotes:**  
_

_**Zanbato: A sword from Japan used to decapitate cavalry with one stroke. Imagine - Buster Sword from FFVII **_

* * *

**If any part was confusing, tell us in your review. I'll try my best to explain, and _Random_shall try to clarify it in the chapter itself. I'd like some feedback, especially about the _Fallen Goddesses_ part. I need to know that I'm not straying off from the intended path.**

**Anyway, see ya later!**


	17. H-Have we kissed before?

**For all those who had reviewed last chapter (and chapters before that), I have to thank you. Reviews are my motivation, so I wouldn't have gotten this far without you guys. That goes the same for you, my Beta Reader.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kami Nomi zo Shiru Sekai and I don't own Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_Chapter Seventeen: "H-Have we kissed before?"_

* * *

The evening storm rattled the Yoshii household, where Keima tried to explain everything, from Archaic to Diana's appearance. Haqua grit her teeth. "More Goddess Hunters!? We have to stop them-"

"A-Actually, Haqua," interjected Shiori, "that isn't the most... pressing issue." Shiori nodded, signalling for Kanon to fill in the blanks that Shiori's speaking deficiency left.

"The Goddesses are... missing," deadpanned Kanon, making Team Devil's jaws drop. Thunder shook the building. "It's kinda like this: when we look into where we expect the Goddesses are residing, they aren't there. Wait, let me rephrase that. It's like they're dormant. We're pretty sure they're still in our souls, since I was able to fend off a deity, but they aren't communicating with us. We both think that Keima should try to awaken the Goddesses with more love. Right Shiori?" The introvert nodded in response.

"I still think we should hunt the Archaic," objects Haqua, glaring the two humans down. One shrinks back, and hides behind a book, while one gives off a very, very fake smile. "They could attack at any moment. While they're down by one, we should strike."

"Two problems with that, Haqua," interrupted the gamer, pressing a few more buttons on his handheld. "One, we haven't actually defeated a Fallen Goddess. Remember what Ares said? 'You only have cut off my connection to my host.' She didn't seem like she was lying. Plus, attacking Archaic now would be reckless."

"Then what should we do, Kami Nii-sama?" asked Elsie, adding her two cents to the conversation. Keima paused, then put away his PFP.

"Nothing." The apartment complex was yet again battered by a volley of rain. Before an uproar could be formed, Keima added, "I have a theory-"

"This isn't a time for theories Keima!" exclaimed Haqua, getting off of her seat to get all up Keima's face. "Baseless conjecture won't get us anywhere-"

"My 'baseless conjecture' helped saved the Goddesses," countered Keima, making Haqua sit down. "Anyway, I have a theory. There are Goddesses in this dimension, and when our Goddesses teleported into the former's 'domain', our Goddesses 'deactivated'. That confirms that there are Goddesses in this realm. By doing what we usually do, bringing out the Weiss, we might bring out a Goddesses. I'm gambling that the Goddesses have gathered around me, just like in Maijima. As an added bonus, we'll have more firepower against Archaic with the power of a Goddess on our side. Happy now, Haqua-"

Ding dong! All eyes swiveled towards the door. Akira Yoshii had just left for Cambridge a day ago, so it was definitely not her. Haqua pointed at the door, and Kanon nodded, and the two somersaulted (Hod did they somersault? Kanon had gymnastics for flexible muscles in case of intense choreography; Haqua is a devil) to the doorway and stood at watch, weapons in hand. They both looked at Keima, who sighed. He got up, and walked to the door. At the doorway was a familiar face.

Shouko Kirishima, soaked to the bone.

* * *

"T-Thanks a lot, Akihisa," said Shouko, who was sitting by the oven for heat. Apparently, only the bare essentials could be found in Akihisa's apartment, and Akihisa must have though that a heater was unnecessary. Wrapped in a towel next to the heat the oven was radiating, Shouko smiled. "I really appreciate it."

"It was nothing," replied Keima, his usual fake smile on his face. "Not to be rude, but isn't your house a more suitable place to be in this situation? I mean, it _is_ raining very hard."

"Wow Akihisa, I never thought I'd see you say something... smart," said Shouko, an eyebrow raised. "What was the cause of that?"

"Sorry to disappoint, but I was the one who asked first," said Keima. He wondered why she was dodging the question. Sure, it could be her pride as a rich, intelligent lady, but it could also be for a more delicate reason.

"But you are the host of this household, are you not?" countered Shouko. Keima was surprised. Losing to someone in verbal warfare was rare, and the only one who had accomplished that feat was Chihiro. The boy grimaced, remembering that fateful night on the Mai-High rooftop _'_C-_Chihiro, I'm sorry... I didn't really mean what I said that time...'_

"...Touché," said Keima, admitting defeat. Shouko's smile grew. "I-I just wanted everyone to stop calling me an idiot. 'Idiot!' here, and '_Baka!_' there everyday grew tiring. It... hurt, to be called an idiot, especially by someone so close to me, so I decided to get my act together." Keima smirked inwardly. Shouko looked him in the eye, trying to catch a bluff of any kind. It was then that Keima noticed how much the_ Yandere _had changed.

The unreachable Shouko Kirishima used to be so mechanical, so monotone, so... cold. Even to her love interest, Yuuji Sakamoto, she would be unforgiving if he was even suspected of being unfaithful to her. All that changed after the Capture. Sure, she was now more quiet and reserved without someone to pursue, but she was... happier. "Akihisa, I need to know something."

"I'm sorry if I sound insensitive, but I would like an answer to my question," replied Keima. Shouko chuckled a little.

"I wasn't trying to segue into a different topic, if that was what you were thinking," said Shouko, her smile never-fading. "The reason why I'm here is just that it rained hard so suddenly, and I couldn't get to my house in time. Your house was the nearest, and here I am." Keima was relieved that he hadn't triggered any invisible flags in Shouko's Route, otherwise, he'd have to have a change of plans. "Anyway Akihisa, I need to know something."

"Go ahead." The sudden change of tone signaled a change in topic, and Keima didn't like the sound of that. Did he set off an invisible flag after all? Shouko, rising to her full height, leered into Keima's eyes, trying her best to intimidate him. Of course, the Capturing God returned the favor. It was a stare down, and the four women behind the couch - namely Elsie, Haqua, Kanon, and Shiori - couldn't predict the outcome. Shouko's cheeks were flushed ever so slightly, but the God of Conquests saw the red tint. He knew what she was going to say before it even came out of her mouth.

_"H-Have we kissed before?" _

* * *

**I know, shameless plug, but if you like the way I portray the KamiNomi characters, please check out my new TWOGK fic, _Alternate Routes!_**

**Okay, shameless advertisement over. Anyway, I'll see you later! **


	18. Shouko, Cliffies, and Plot Twists

**1.) Sorry to keep you waiting! I would've updated last week, but I was totally out of juice, thanks to the lack of reviews. Anyway, I'm back, and that's what matters :)**

**2.) We WILL be returning to the old flow (Keima Capturing heroines in the world of Baka to Test) after this, but of course, there will be a few surprises along the way**

**Disclaimer in earlier chapters**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_Chapter Eighteen: Shouko, Cliffies, and Plot Twists_

* * *

"H-Have we kissed before?" The words made everyone but Shouko and Keima flinch. The black-haired _Yandere_ leered into Keima's eyes, seeking the truth behind the cold brown orbs. "I just c-can't shake the feeling that we were closer than... just friends. And don't even think of lying, Akihisa, or else there will be dire consequences..."

_I guess her_ Yandere _mode activated,_ mentally sighed Keima. Sure, she was usually an open book to the gamer, but that one statement made him question himself. He couldn't tell if she was bluffing, or if he was in for a "shock". As the storm died down, Keima refilled his teacup with the translucent beverage, and said, "We have kissed."

The response really surprised Shouko. She had expected him to avoid the question, or to fib his way out of telling the truth. She didn't expect an answer that direct! Keima continued, "Before you ask, I could tell that if I lied, you'd be able to tell, and you are pretty handy with a taser. Why aren't we dating? You forgot the kiss. Why did you forget the kiss? I have no idea. Maybe you conked your head or something."

"O-Oh." Shouko Kirishima isn't really experienced when it comes to love. Her only source of reference was her little hunt for Yuuji in the name of unrequited love, which turned out to be love for the act in elementary school that saved her. That source isn't really reliable in more stable relationships, and it showed.

"The storm let up," segued Keima, pointing at the window. "I can walk you home, if you like-" He was stopped by a pair of lips on his. It was a chaste kiss, but it was enjoyable to both parties nonetheless. The four women hiding behind the couch questioned the lack of noise, but didn't try to look. Elsie was the one using the Celestial Robe's cloaking feature, and they didn't want risk blowing their cover thanks to Elsie's incompetence. After the kiss, Shouko rested her forehead on Keima's shoulder, savoring the intimate action.

"Love is the only subject I'm failing," said Shouko. "My... '_wild goose chase_' in regards to Yuuji doesn't satisfy my hunger for affection. I need more, Akihisa, and I need it now. Please, let me stay over, just for tonight." The more active members of Keima's harem tightened their fists.

Haqua had it with the adulterous nerd and his love schemes. All she had to do was write down "Erase Keima Katsuragi" in the Memory Note function of her Robe, then he'll be out of her life. Then she remembered that that was the last thing she wanted to do. Deep inside, all she wanted was his attention. Little did she know that Kanon was thinking the same thing, only in the idol's own context. They were shook out of their reverie when they heard Keima's door shut.

"_~Auah!_ My neck feels stiff from all the hiding!" complained Elsie, removing the Celestial Robe from the harem. Shiori nodded in agreement. They made their way to the extra room, when Elsie's phone rang. "Hey, Elsie here- what, three people are gonna have to sleep in your room!?"

"Yes," replied Keima. What was the reason behind Keima's logic? Keima would die if he let a fully activated _Yandere_ sleep in the same room as him. Why three people instead of four? One person could pretend to be Akira Yoshii, and "Akira" could simply sleep in her room with Shouko. "And please choose the three girls, and quickly. I can't stall Shouko any longer."

Elsie stashed her phone, and turned around. "So who wants to sleep with Shouko?" The three of them all took a step back simultaneously. Elsie was going to have to take one for the team yet again. "Okay, I'll stay with Shouko, while you three get to stay with Kami Nii-sama!"

Then the door to Akihisa's room burst open, causing Haqua to shove everyone behind the couch, out of view. Once Elsie recovered, she veiled the group, letting them see the drama unfold. A blushing Shouko was holding up a bra about two times her size, while Keima was looking away, the faintest tint of red gracing his pale white cheeks. "A-Akihisa, is this Akira's?"

"Y-Yeah. You need something to wear, since your clothes are soaked, right? So I delved into my sis's closet and fished out some clothes for you. I already talked with _Nee-san_, and she said she's okay with it. You don't mind sleeping next to her, right?" said Keima, staying in character despite the tempting lure of the forsaken PFP in his pocket. "Maybe you should go home after all-"

"I-It's fine," interrupted the yandere, holding the clothes to her person, "a-anyway, good night... Akihisa."

"Y-Yes," said Akihisa, waving off the girl in front of him. She smiled, and walked towards the room only Akira owns. Once he heard the door shut, Keima sighed out of relief. All Keima had to do was have Haqua erase Shouko's memories.

Hopefully nothing would go wrong.

* * *

**3.) Sorry for the brevity, but it had to be. It just felt right**

**4.) REVIEW! My Beta and I absolutely love reviews, so please, motivate us by reviewing! At least say "Hi"...**

**See ya!**


	19. Me, Gymnastics, and Tea Ceremonies

**1.) Sorry to keep you waiting! (Man, I haven't said that in a while!)**

**2.) I'm moving the update date of this fic from Friday to Saturday, because I have to research on the characters, plot, et cetera on Friday**

**3.) To my Beta Reader: I have to talk to you about something Kami Nomi-related. PM me.**

**Disclaimer in earlier chapters**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_Chapter Nineteen: Me, Gymnastics, and Tea Ceremonies_

* * *

"Are you sure you erased her memories?" asked Keima. He didn't want a repeat of the Mina/zuki Arc. Haqua nodded.

"Yeah. At least nothing went wrong. Hopefully nothing bad will happen-"

"Kami Nii-sama, there's another Escaped Spirit!" exclaimed the ever energetic Elucia de Lute Ima. Keima sighed. They were back into the rut. At least with the whole Ares fiasco, Keima was able to play his games. He would have to reluctantly put his gaming schedule on a hiatus. Removing her hands from her Sensor, she whipped around, and pointed at the girl who set off the alarm. Tapping her Celestial Robe, she accessed the list of parameters. "Her name is... Aoi Kogure, from... Class 3-A!? A-A sempai!"

"Just wait a second..." muttered Keima, bringing up an internal list:

_Shouko = Kanon_  
_Yuuka = Chihiro_  
_Mizuki = Kanon_  
_Minami = Ayumi (and Haqua)_  
_Youko = Nanaka_

"...And now Aoi is to Kusonoki. Too many occurrences to be a coincidence. Damn Reality. There's something missing here-"

"It says here that she's a member of both the Tea Ceremony club and the Gymnastics club," interjected Elsie, "and that's all that's recorded."

"I can get her B-W-H later," said Keima without a hint of embarrassment "What I need to do now is to formulate a plan of attack. Maybe a Kusonoki-type route-" Keima stopped himself before he could go further. When has Keima, the God of Conquest, ever relied on Real experience!? Sure, he has referred to them, but it was usually after he examined all the game examples. Retrospecting, Keima noticed that all the changes happened...

_...once he stepped foot in this world._

"K-Kami-sama, are you... okay?" said Elsie, waving her hand in front of Keima's face. He was so still, it was like he was lagging, though Elsie knew better. She's seen the look on his face a lot during the Old Conquest arc. She knew that deep inside, he was trying to figure out if his actions were really going to get him to the Ending. "Maybe we should sit down for a while-"

"I'm fine," recovered Keima, patting Elsie's head. "Let's just get this Capture over with!"

* * *

"Why do I have to do this again!?" complained Haqua, trying to remove her hand from Keima's, but the latter would not have it.

"I have to get closer to Aoi," said Keima. "The easiest way would be to join a club she herself is in, to increase the encounter rate. Of course, with my build, I can only hope to be able to join the Tea Ceremony club. Since the _chaji_ ceremony is at its most formal with five people, I need to eliminate the unneeded variables AKA strangers. You, Shiori, and Kanon are with me, to eliminate the said variables. Aoi said that if the chaji is a success, then she'll let me and the three of you into the club."

"F-Fine, but it's only because I'm already clear," said Haqua, just as Aoi entered the room. She initiated the ceremony, and just as Keima planned, it went perfectly.

* * *

"So you do gymnastics?" asked Keima, feigning surprise. It was the day after the tea ceremony, and Keima had to add some love points.

"Yeah. Helps me keep my figure in shape," replied Aoi, smiling at the boy. "The leotard also look pretty good on me. Brings all the boys to the yard-" She was interrupted by a pair of third years, specifically the Tokonatsu Duo. Aoi grit her teeth.

"Hey Aoi, what are you doing hanging out with the Class F loser!?" questioned Shunpei Natsukawa, the one Aoi hated the most. "He must be blackmailing you! Let's get him!" Yuusaku Tsunemura nodded his head, and cracked his knuckles. Keima sighed. He had more to add to the list:

Parsley People = Tokonatsu Duo

Aoi tried to defend Keima. "No, he's just-"

"Yeah. This is payback for the festival, Akihisa!" cried Yuusaku, baring his teeth. He and his bald companion charged.

"J-Just _hold it!_" exclaimed Aoi, stopping the two idiotic A-Boys in their tracks. "You two always jump to conclusions. It's all because of _you_ that Hayate-" Letting it all out, she ran past the duo, with Keima running after her.

"Damn Real! This is not the time for a mini-game!" complained Keima, slowly but surely getting left behind by the athletic student. Keima grit his teeth and tried harder, but unless he was motivated by a game, he would never be able to catch up. She pulled a fast corner, causing Keima to fly into the wall. Pulling his head out of the cement, Keima noticed that Aoi was long gone. "And I was so close to finding out her problem! Since I can't progress the Conquest, I have find out about this 'Hayate' person in the meantime..."

* * *

"Aoi isn't here!?" exclaimed Keima. The event the day before must have depressed her. Keima could only hope that it wasn't a Poison Flag. "What happened?"

"I'm sorry," said Sumire Niino, the Club Chairman. For some reason, she didn't want to see the sad look on the brunette's face. "Hm... well, it is the duty of the _kaichou_ to check up on her subordinates, so I'll visit her house later. You want to accompany me?"

"I'll take you up on that," said Keima, a plan formulating in his head. "Thank you." All Keima had to do now was to find out Aoi's heroine problem, and solve it. His intuition told him that this Hayate person would be the key factor, and a God's intuition is always right...

_...most of the time._

* * *

**4.) I'm adding a few non-canon stuff about the Baka to Test universe here and there. Hopefully you guys don't mind.**_  
_

**5.) Review! Don't like the Heroines? Review! Think this is a little OOC? Review! Wanna remove my motivation? Don't Review! C'mon, at least drop by to say hi!**

**6.) To that guy who wants to revive Percy Jackson: Champion of the Love Goddess: You should've just PM'ed me instead of reviewing a completely unrelated fanfic. Anyway, I have plans on remaking the story, so just be patient.**

**Goodbye!**


	20. Me, Hayate, and the Rain

**1.) Hello! Sorry for the brevity (864 words)!**

**2.) I seem to have a general view on the rest of the story, and I have to say, we're close to the finish line!**

**Disclaimer in earlier chapters**

**Enjoy! **

* * *

_Chapter Twenty: Me, Hayate, and the Rain_

* * *

Enter the mind of Sumire Niino. As an announcer, one would expect that she was a loud loud and talkative person. In fact, it was quite the opposite. She lived for the quiet moments of life, sipping tea while overlooking the view from her classroom window. She was also a pretty average person: average looks, average figure, average social class. Everything about her was average. She didn't mind that fact though. To her, everything was perfect just the was it was.

If that were the case, then why did she feel the need to reach out to Akihisa?

"We're here, the Kogure household," said Sumire, waving her hand in a "look-at-the-panoramic-view" manner. The brunette nodded, his face full of determination. It was that look that answered her question.

She was in love... with him.

There was no other explanation. Right off the bat Akihisa showed off his good side, his eagerness to help Aoi a good thing from Sumire's purview. Then all the small talk from the school to the estate cemented the fact that they were somewhat compatible. Then that face, that handsome face, won her over. She was definitely in love. At the very least the butterflies in her stomach meant infatuation. She hoped she had a chance...

...then remembered what they came here for: Aoi Kogure.

"Aoi, we know you're up there! _Answer me!_" cried a desperate Akihisa, banging a fist on the fence. After a few minutes of waiting, Sumire's frown turned upside down. Even if Akihisa had feelings for Aoi, if she didn't return it, the boy was all Sumire's!

"Akihisa," said Sumire, choosing her words carefully. Her background as an announcer helped tremendously. "I don't think Aoi is going to respond. I think we should just go home-"

"I can't leave till I talk with her," interjects Keima, refusing to go down the Sumire route. "Sorry, but you're going to have to walk home alone." This disappointed her greatly, but she decided that she could wait for his morale to break.

"I can wait a little longer." And wait they did. Every now and then, Akihisa would call out for Aoi, and she would reply with a harsh rejection. With every rejection, Sumire's hopes rose. Of course, that was till the rain fell. Sumire didn't want to get a cold, but she didn't want to leave Akihisa. She hoped that once she left, Akihisa would come to his senses and leave, before he gets sick.

"Sorry Keima, but I have to go," said Sumire as she ran from the scene, leaving Keima all alone. For some reason, the rain brought Keima a bit of nostalgia, and reminded him of _her_, the girl that can knock Keima from his throne.

_Chihiro Kosaka._

He was interrupted from his reverie by the umbrella that smacked his face, and the slam of a window that followed. Keima looked up, to see Aoi's reflection leave the window. Keima had to conceal a smirk. That was classic Tsundere behavior. He opened the umbrella, and after five minutes, the door opened, revealing Aoi.

"J-Just get inside."

* * *

Keima Katsuragi, who was sitting next to a cozy fireplace, was treated to warm green tea, which was exquisite. Aoi sat across him, just gazing at him as he brought the cup up to his lips to lap up the beverage. Without even being asked, Aoi decided to share her anxieties with him.

"Hayate... is my younger brother. My _adopted_ younger brother. He was a nice young man two years younger than me. It was obvious that we weren't related by blood. He has blonde hair, while mine is a shade of blonde. Of course, I loved him like a brother, but... some people didn't realize that. It was partially my fault, giving him the cold shoulder due to him forgetting to put the toilet seat up. I _know_ that I was overreacting, but I wanted to make him feel guilty... just a little."

As she told this story, a few tears leaked out, but Aoi made no move to wipe them. Neither did Keima. "Little did I know that the little guilt trip I wanted to send him on actually made him run away from home. Those two bumbling idiots mistook my cold shoulder as rejection, and they took that as an 'OK' to bullying. They tortured him mentally, and I took his look of depression as an aftereffect of the guilt trip I sent him on. I-I was _so stupid!_ And instead of asking Mom and Dad to transfer to a different school, he just ran away! Just because he wanted to be less of a burden!"

That was when she broke down. She knelt in front of the coffee table, put her head in her arms, and let it all out. Then she felt a tap on her shoulder, so she looked up, her gaze landing on Akihisa's warm smile.

"I know that I'll never be able to replace a lost brother, but just know that I'll always be there for you." Keima lifted up her chin, and pressed his lips against hers, sending the Spirit skyward.

* * *

**3.) Please comment on how I executed Sumire Niino and Aoi Kogure in your review! Of course, if you feel a little lazy, a simple Hi! would siffice (though the longer the better!)**

**4.) Hayate is a reference to _Hayate no Gotoku_, but with a different hair-color.  
**

**See ya!**


	21. Me, Sumire, and the Archaic

**1.) Man, how long has it been? One week, two? Anyway, I apologize for the delay. I've been thinking over the story as a whole (thanks to a certain review). Plus, inspiration just hasn't struck me. I had the chapter outline done (My beta can attest to that!), but I just couldn't put it into words.**

**2.) I just have to know: Who are TWOGK fans, and who are Baka to Test fans? Please tell me via review/PM!**

**3.) I hope that this chapter, which is 1.5x the size of a normal chapter, satisfies you!**

**Disclaimer in earlier chapters**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_Chapter Twenty One: Me, Sumire, and the Archaic_

* * *

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, even if the woman herself is from hell. Haqua du Lot Herminium, her Sensor beeping, was pulling Keima up by his collar. Releasing one of her hands from the death grip she had Keima in, she pointed her hand at the beeping skull, then at the girl crying in the corner of the rooftop. "Goddess damn it Keima! This is what you get for Speed Running a Conquest!"

Keima looked at the broken-down girl who was crying for no reason. "Just look at the tears you caused! Just like how Conquered targets retain their happiness, people whose memories were wiped will retain their feelings. You _broke_ her Keima!"

The brunette smirked coldly. "I guess this isn't the right time to play, huh." He slowly unraveled Haqua's fingers from his shirt, his feet meeting sound ground again.

"I've been putting this off long enough. I shall deliver a perfect Capture, even if it _costs me my life!_"

* * *

"H-Hot!" exclaimed Sumire, the tea stinging her skin. Thanks to Keima's "klutzy" move, her yukata was ruined. "Oh, how can this day get any worse!?"

"Sorry Sumire!" said Keima, bowing. "How should I fix this... _aha!_ I'll take you to a laundromat!" Why spill tea on Sumire? After analyzing the Conquest variables, he decided to leave an impression using a big event. This tactic can be used for any archetype, but it does have its disadvantages. It'll be a pretty long Capture, since you're essentially starting from scratch, and it's hard to build up the love points. Unless, of course, if you're Keima Katsuragi.

"I-I don't think that would be a good idea." All Sumire wanted was to be left alone, to brew in her negative emotions, and to wait for time to heal the wounds inflicted by that one person that she just couldn't remember. The only thing she could remember about the perpetrator was that he had brown hair, and glasses. Wait, glasses!? No, that isn't right...

"Sorry, I just wanted to help. You just look so... _sad_," said Keima, dismantling the sadness and replacing it with guilt, so that she'd be obliged to go with him. Keima turned around, and walked away... till he was stopped by a hand on his shoulder. Bingo.

"I can go with you, if you insist," replied Sumire, her guilt disappearing. With her emotions reset, the Conquest can now begin. After school, Keima started the assault.

"You look a little sad. Why?"

Normally, Sumire wouldn't want to share her misfortune, but for some reason, the boy in front of her made her feel... safe, yet nervous at the same time. "I... don't really know. One day, I just woke up all melancholic, and the only thing I know about the root of the problem is that it revolves around this one guy." In response, Keima gave her a pat on the back.

"Care to tell me who this guy is?" asked Keima. "Personality would be best, but anything would do."

"I don't know... I guess he's kind, but can do a complete one-eighty, catching you by surprise," replied the purple haired girl. The way she looked off into the distance told Keima that she was fixated, maybe even obsessed with the mystery guy.

**Category: Introverted Heroine (Example - Shiori)**

It's easy to Capture these kinds of heroines, once you find out their obsession. For example, Shouko was all "Yuuji or nothing". What Keima can do is to transfer over the attributes of the obsession to himself.

They entered the laundromat. It wasn't anything special, just your regular old laundromat with washing machines filling up the walls. After Keima popped in a one hundred yen coin, Sumire stuffed in her stained garments. "How about you Akihisa? You wanna talk about something too?"

_'Think carefully Keima,'_ reminded the brunette. This was a very important flag. If he got it right, it could lead to the True Ending, but if he screwed up the dialogue, it's game over for him._ 'What're my priorities?'_

"...I think I may have an identity crisis. I just don't know who I want to be. I'm called the 'Ultimate Idiot' by my closest friends, and I don't really want that. On the other hand, if I change, go from nice to ice cold, my friends might leave me. I-I just don't know what to do." confessed Keima, internally smirking. The line was almost perfect. It held some truth (identity crisis), it applied to Akihisa, and it made Keima look like the "mystery guy".

Cue silence. Sumire just stood in place, occasionally twiddling her thumbs, or checking to see if the laundry was finished. The silence was expected though. She had a lot of facts to digest. Once the wash cycle was done, they transferred the dripping articles of clothing into the drier.

"Heh, I guess I'm not the only one with issues," said Sumire, deciding to break the awkward pause. Taking that as a sign of acceptance, Keima pressed on.

Keima said, "I guess not. Hm... I think we both need a little cheering up." Stashing the dry yukata into a white tote bag, Sumire put on an inquisitive look, saying, "How?"

Instead of replying, Keima grabbed Sumire's hand and walked out of the establishment, heading towards the town plaza.

"Let's go on a date."

* * *

"Seriously, where are you taking me, Akihisa!?" said Sumire, who was being dragged into a nice restaurant, not a fast food one, not an overly extravagant one, but a tasty establishment selling good food within a reasonable price. "A-A restaurant!? But I didn't bring enough-"

"I'll foot the bill... this time," said Keima, giving the fail-safe flirty grin. It's good for resolving tension or anxiety, and it worked beautifully in the situation. Sumire's mental shields dropped. "Pick anything."

"Shouldn't you be broke because of Mizuki and Minami?" questioned Sumire. Everyone (except for Akihisa) knew that the two F-girls liked the brunette, and that their weekly trips to the crepe store were just ways to get closer to the boy.

_'Crap, triggered a poison flag. I have to digress...'_ thought Keima. If they were to go down that route, Keima would get a Bad End for sure. "I had some cash saved up for someone... special. _Waiter!_"

The man in the white and black outfit walked towards Keima's table, a pen and notepad in hand. "What would you like to order, sir?"

"Paella and a glass of water would be nice," said Keima. "What would YOU like to order, Sumire?"

"...Carbonara's good. Can I have a Coke with that?" At Keima's nod, the waiter gave a slight bow and left. "Out of all the places to choose, why a European joint? I would've been fine going to a beef bowl shack."

"I pride myself in getting 100% in every Cap- I mean everything," said Keima. "Anyway, are you feeling better?"

"Why yes, yes I am!" After eating and paying the bill, Keima took Sumire to the park, to seal the deal. Thanks to the small talk during the meal, Sumire's love points have reached a sufficient level, and is now ready to be Captured.

Eying the marble fountain, Sumire took a seat, marveling the gushing water's beauty in the moonlight. Keima looked at the scene in front of him and came to one conclusion: It was perfect, definitely True Ending material. All he needed now was a confession and a kiss.

"Wow, I've never been to the park this late before, 'cause my parents would kill me. This sight is worth any punishment, though," stated Sumire, staring at the glimmer of copper coins from the bottom of the fountain.

"Heh, my sister would probably kill me too," said Keima, sitting down next to her. "But being with you makes it all worth it." Thanks to the light reflected off of the fountain water's surface, it wasn't hard to see Sumire's flushed face.

"Sumire, I...I-"

The fountain burst forth like a geyser, knocking Sumire and Keima off of their perch. Keima grabbed Sumire's soaked hand and dragged her away from the fountain. "What in the world's going on, Akihisa!?"

"Don't know! Maybe a pipe's broken or something," said Keima, thinking of possible scenarios. Only two popped into his mind:

1.) There really was a pipe problem

2.) ..._Archaic_

_'Damn you Real, I don't need this!'_ internally cursed Keima, leading Sumire into the forested area surrounding the fountain quadrangle. "You okay, Sumire?"

"A little chilly, but I'll be fine."

"Good, 'cause I have to tell you something important," said the God, resetting her confused emotions. "I lo-" The tree next to them exploded, splinters lodging themselves into Keima's skin. Gritting his teeth, he tried to lead Sumire somewhere else. It didn't help that everywhere they went, something next to them would explode.

_'Having fun, Keima Katsuragi?' echoed a female voice._

_'...Archaic!?'_ Keima didn't have time for this. Sumire is getting more and more confused by the second, and soon, Keima won't be able to reset her confusion. He needed to wrap it up, and soon. He looked around, till his eyes laid on two cherry blossom trees overlooking a dirt path illuminated by a sole lamppost. His gamer pride would have to settle on that.

"Maybe we can hide from the 'Attack of the Flying Stuff' under those trees!" exclaimed Keima, pulling her along. Once they were under the tree, Keima said the three special words while holding Sumire's hands.

"I love you-"

"_Argh!_" whisper-yelled Keima. He looked down, only to see a blade eerily similar to Fiore's ticking out of his abdomen. Dark miasma leaked out, and Keima could barely breath, much less stand. Mustering the last of his strength, Keima launch his face towards Sumire's, sealing their lips together, and releasing the Escaped Spirit. It flew skyward, as Keima bit the dust.

* * *

**4.) Plot Twist! What'll happen to Keima now!?**

**5.) Could I _please _get more reviews. A big reason as to why this chapter was released so late is because I've lost inspiration. More reviews equal faster updates, so _review_, even if it's just to say hi. **

**6.) Again, please tell me if you're a TWOGK fan, a Baka to Test fan, or fans of both unrelated franchises.**

**Catch 'ya next time!**


	22. Me, Miharu, and Traps

**1.) Happy New Years! **

**2.) There may not be that much comedy in this chapter, just saying. The brief Haqua and Kanon skit might bring a smile upon your face, but everything else is serious stuff.**

**3.) Another question I have to ask: Should I try to bring some of the Baka to Test elements into the spotlight, or should I keep them out to put emphasis on the Conquests?**

**Disclaimer in earlier chapters**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_Chapter Twenty Two: Me, Miharu, and Traps_

* * *

「_All the world needs is me._」

「_I've got my values, so you can keep yours, alright?_」

_Keima was at Mai High, walking across the halls. It was his first year of high school, and he had a ton of games to play. Then the school rush came, with all the near-tardy students rushing to their classrooms at once. They flooded the halls, pushing Keima around every which way._

「_Out of the way, you're blocking my game!_」

_Keima felt so discontent, seeing all the background characters taking up the view. He wanted to wipe the Real out, and have the world only He knew replace it._

* * *

Keima blinked, and when he opened his eyes, all the Noise was gone. "W-What the-"

"Isn't this how you'd like the world, Keima," said a sultry voice. Keima whipped around, revealing a woman cloaked in black. "This is a world of perfection."

"...More like a world of emptiness."

"But this is the kind of world you desire, isn't that right?" said the cloaked figure. "No more annoying characters, no more lack of save states, no more having to tire. No Reality. An escape."

"...No. I'd rather be in a world with imperfections, than a world without heroines. And without background characters, how will the heroines stand out!? And Besides, I don't seek an escape. I create my own world, making the Noise obey me. The world ends with me, and I intend to make the ending mine!"

"Sniff, that speech brought tears to my eyes," said the woman, sarcasm dripping from her mouth. She snapped her fingers. The world melted, till it was only him and her in a white room. "You passed the test. Ask me anything you want. I'll give you three questions." Keima decided that he should choose his words carefully.

"What were those... visions? It all felt so real," said Keima.

"Just your negative memories and emotions magnified. That's what we mediums do," said the robed lady. Keima could have sworn that she chuckled. "It was to show you how damnable the world is, and to bring down your morale. Remember that all I've shown you came from your memories. The events really happened, and you really felt that way."

Keima would've asked, "Why do you want to bring down my morale?", but he already had an idea on why. Keima asked, "Why am I needed for Archaic?

"Ooh, how perceptive of you!" said the girl, fake clapping. Were all members of Archaic this annoying!? "You're simply the key to all of this."

"I suppose that you answer won't get any more specific than that," said Keima. "Last question: Who are you?"

"Phoebe, a Fallen Goddess, and a Medium of Hatred," said Phoebe. Keima instantly attributed her to Apollo, who is also a medium. Then, out of nowhere, a ringtone sounded off.

"Looks like you're out of time, out of questions... and out of luck." She drew her knife, the same one she used to pierce Keima. He could see it clearly now - an iridescent and jagged dagger that looked thin, brittle, and blunt. The dagger looked like it could stab through someone, but it would never be a fatal hit. Keima wondered about its purpose, till he saw the symbol and the miasma the symbol emitted.

It looked exactly like Vintage's.

"See you later, Keima Katsuragi." Then he felt the knife stab into his heart.

* * *

While Keima's stuck in his little dream world, Kanon and Haqua are roaming the halls of the Fumizuki Academy. They felt so... directionless without their bespectacled leader, though Haqua would never admit it. In fact, they would've stayed at his bedside, but it would be a little too suspicious for all of them to be absent on the same day. Their melancholy was only broken my Haqua's Sensor alarm.

"Another Escaped Spirit!?" exclaimed Haqua, looking around the halls. The only one there who could possibly be a Target is... Miharu Shimizu, who was clinging onto Minami like a leech.

"Get off of me, Miharu!" cried Minami, twisting about to try to get the lesbian off of her back. Once Miharu was detached from her host, Minami ran like an Ayumi, leaving the poor homosexual behind.

"M-My lady!" exclaimed, comical tears spewing forth from her eyes. Kanon looked at the heartbroken girl with weird eyes, as Haqua checked Miharu's parameters on her Robe.

"Miharu Shimizu, Class 2-D's... ambassador!? Just like Akihisa..." muttered Haqua. "Likes technology and Minami Shimada, hates heterosexuality and Akihisa."

"Is she Keima's next target?" asked the pink haired idol. Haqua looked like she was about to answer, but she stopped herself, a glint of mischief on her eyes.

"Nope," said Haqua, "she ours!" This elicited a gasp of shock from Kanon.

"W-What do you mean!?" shouted Kanon, slowly backing away from the devil... till the Celestial Robe shot out and latched itself onto Kanon's wrist.

"C'mon, we'll show Keima how it's done!" said Haqua, who was itching to beat Keima at his own game.

"...I don't think that's a good idea," said Kanon.

"It'll give that jerk some time to rest," enticed Haqua. Kanon sighed and changed her mind. "Heh, step aside, Otamegane! It's time for the World Only the Girls Know to shine!"

* * *

"Ugh, my chest hurts... where am I..." said Keima, getting up from the bed he was lying on. He scanned the room, verifying that it was indeed Akihisa's room. Next to him were Elsie and Shiori, and noticing the awakened Keima, shot out of their seats.

"Kami Nii-sama! / K-Keima!" yelled the girls at the same time, causing the boy to fall back.

"Could you quiet down!?" said Keima, cleaning out his ear with his pinky finger. Then he noticed something... trivial.

"Who changed my clothes?" asked the boy, looking down at his person. He could have sworn that he wore a polo and jeans on his date with Sumire, but what he had on at the moment was a t-shirt - shorts combo that really didn't suit his tall and thin build. instantly, Shiori blushed, and hid her face behind the book she was holding, and a flushed Elsie waved her hand around comically.

"~Auah! A-Ah... Kanon and I changed your clothes, because Haqua was complaining that you stunk. Please forgive me, Kami-sama!"

"I-It's fine," said Keima, looking away. "...Anyway-" A "_doro doro_" cut him off, as Elsie answered her Sensor.

On the other line was Haqua, who told the bug demon all about her scheme. "What ever you do, _don't_ tell Keima about this!" Then the more mature demon hung up.

"...Who called, Elsie?" asked Keima, putting on the game face he used on Fiore. Elsie started sweating bullets.

"M-M-Minami, Kami-sama," said Elsie, her knees threatening to buckle under the glare of her buddy.

"On your Sensor?" said Keima, putting on a skeptical look. "Tell me the truth, _now!_"

"H-Haqua," replied Elsie, "she told me that... Kanon got asked out!"

"You wouldn't have to lie just because of that," objected Keima, pointing a finger at the young lady. "If you lie to me for the third time-"

"Okay, okay!" Elsie then elaborated, shocking Shiori, and agitating Keima. _'What are those two idiots thinking!? And wasn't Haqua the one who said not to mess around!?'_

"Goddess damn it, they're going to mess up the Conquest!" exclaimed Keima, who tried to get up from the bed he was on. Emphasis on tried. Once he put just the slightest weight on his leg, pain shot up the limb. The pain felt like a piping hot metal rod was being shoved through the heel and into the kneecap. All Keima wanted to do was scream. _"Gyah!"_

"K-Keima, I think it's best not to m-move," said Shiori , pinning Keima down. "W-While the dagger wasn't meant to kill you, it made it so that you c-couldn't move. Since M-Minerva's powerless in this universe, I can't help you." Keima gasped, and thrashed around even more.

"Shiori, get off of me, or else those two might _die!_" cried Keima, shocking the two girls in the room.

"W-What do you mean, Kami Nii-sama!?"

"Don't you see!? _It's a trap!_" said Keima. "They must know that they're fighting against a group, and they want to eliminate us all. They must want to knock Haqua and Kanon out of the running!"

"B-But that doesn't make sense-"

"Archaic took me out by paralyzing me," clarified Keima. "They didn't kill me, or at least critically wound me. Why? All of you would be at my bedside, where they can't find you. They know we have to send at least one of our own out, so that no one would be asking questions. They're probably using Miharu's Escaped Spirit as bait to kill them!"

"Now out of the way!" cried Keima, forcing Shiori to release her grasp on him. While gritting (thanks to the pain), he raced outside. "I have a few heroines to save!"

* * *

**4.) Clarifications: The italicized part right after the chapter title (_Al the world needs is me..._) is the vision Phoebe and Keima were talking about.**

**5.) Phoebe: Since Apollo is both Greek and Roman, I had to do a little more research. Turns out his whole name is Phoebus Apollo. When I saw that, I was all "Is _that _why Phoebe's called Phoebe?" (Only Percy Jackson fans will understand) **

**6.) Please review! I've been quite distracted by a lot of crap (damn you DS/3DS!), so a little reminder in the form of a review could help to get this fic running!**

**7.) My beta, if you have any questions, please ask me. Who knows, it could help out the story immensely, so ask away!**

**Goodbye!**


	23. Me, Shinobi, and Repeats

**1.) Sorry if the chapter seems rushed, but I'm playing through the Clannad visual novel (which is AWESOME, by the way), and that's taking up my free time.**

**2.) I also apologize for the brevity of this chapter. My muse just isn't as fired up as the previous chapters. It doesn't help that Nagisa's theme is playing through my head over and over again.  
**

**Disclaimer in earlier chapters**

**Enjoy! **

* * *

_Chapter Twenty-Three: Me, Shinobi, and Repeats_

* * *

"I'm don't think this is a good idea," said Kanon to Haqua, her partner-in-time. The duo - under the Celestial Robe's guise - spied on Miharu on the rooftop, who was eyeing a certain flat-chested German with her binoculars.

"..._Ojou-sama_, why don't you like me?" asked Miharu, her forearm on her forehead. Kanon begrudgingly gave the lesbian respect. The energetic homosexual looked as if she would go through hell and back just to be with her beloved _pettanko_. That intense passion reflected the romance between herself and a certain gamer... at least from Kanon's purview. She was still daydreaming about her confession to the bespectacled boy when Haqua firmly shook the idol's shoulder.

"Concentrate," said Haqua. "We need to find out what makes the Target tick, and we can't do that if we're staring out into space." They turned to Miharu, who just noticed a very interesting topic being discussed between Minami and Mizuki.

"I wonder how Aki's doing?" wondered Minami, who had noticed that he three of them hadn't really been hanging out all that much. "He's been pretty distant lately."

"...Yeah. I-I kinda miss him," replied Mizuki, a thoughtful look on her face. "Plus, he wasn't even in class earlier!"

"Really?" asked Minami, blushing a little. She hadn't really noticed, since she had daydreamed about him the whole day, though she would never admit that. "That _baka's_ probably at his house, if that's the case. Why don't we visit him?"

"That'll be a great idea!" cheered Mizuki. "Too bad I don't have any food prepared..." In another universe, Akihisa's unconscious body shivered.

"That _pig!_ Why is _he_ getting the five-star treatment, while I'm getting the bottom of the barrel!?" exclaimed Miharu, crushing the binoculars in her hand in one go. Haqua's eye twitched, and the girl tried to keep her jaw from going too low. "_Ojou-sama_, I will rescue you!"

"Shoot," cussed Haqua. "Misses Flat and Melons are gonna go to Akihisa's apartment, with the target in tow. Once Keima sees Miharu, our operation is all over."

"Can Keima see the Escaped Spirits, even when they're still hidden?" asked Kanon, legitimately confused. She sure wasn't an expert on all things Hellish, but she was pretty sure that Keima couldn't see into people's hearts literally.

"Just trust me on this one," said Haqua, who nabbed the pink-ette's wrist, and pulled her in Miharu's direction.

* * *

"P-Please try not to run again, K-Keima," said Shiori, dabbing gently at the ugly black-and-blue mark on the gamer's forehead. Keima winced, while admiring Shiori's new-found courage. Before coming to Fumizuki, Shiori could barely speak, much less in coherent sentences. Now, she merely stuttered now and then. It seemed that the Capturing God wasn't the only one changed by the World Akihisa Knew. "You're still disabled."

"Sorry, but I just know that Archaic wants something out of Haqua and Kanon. Even if they don't want to kill them..." Keima trailed off, as Elsie returned to the living room, a bag of ice in hand. Shiori took the bag and applied it to Keima's injury, "H-How will you be able to move - much less C-Capture - in your state?"

"I just know that Kami Nii-sama will find a way to save everyone," said Elsie, with the faith of a child, "because you're my Kami Nii-sama." The Capturing God decided to give his devout follower what she desired: a pat on the head.

"Flattery will get you nowhere with me, Elsie," said Keima, contradicting himself with the all-knowing smirk on his face. "Anyway, let's get to the point of this... 'meeting'. Since those two 'bugs' (Kanon and Haqua) are running amok, we'll need a 'patch' of sorts. That's where you two'll come in. I suppose I'll call you two the 'Conquest Repair Squad'. Alright, here's what you two need to do-"

Ding dong! After the three of them jumped out of their skins, Keima told Shiori and Elsie to investigate under the Robe's disguise. They slowly walked towards the window, took a swift peek - just in case someone who could see through the magic was there - and came back.

"Kami Nii-sama, Minami and Mizuki are just outside!" whisper-shouted Elsie. Right after that, the doorbell rang again.

"Damn you Reality, with your stupid repeats," cursed Keima. Kneeling, he tore about two inches of Robe, ripped it in half, and stuck both of the tatters up his nostrils, simulating a cold. "Open the door once I enter the room, and _don't_ make yourselves visible till they leave." Once the conditions were satisfied, Keima's team went into action. Shiori gripped the doorknob, and slowly turned it, stopping once the *click* sound was heard.

"Oh, never mind, it's open," said Minami stepping in, followed by her pink-haired companion. Then, dressed in a black uniform reserved for shinobi, Miharu dashed in, and shoulder-rolled behind the couch. The last of the stalkers - Kanon and Haqua - entered, cloaked by Haqua's Celestial Robe.

_Let the repeat begin._

* * *

**3.) As always, please review, and give me your opinion on how the story's progressing.**

**Goodbye!**


	24. Flag 01 - Tenri Route

**1.) Due to the fact that some people were requesting some more Baka to Test elements, I've decided to do a few spin-off chapters every now and then about Akihisa's side of the coin. If you've read the TWOGK manga, you'll know that Keima's ~7 year old spirit is in Keima's 17 year old body, providing some good comic relief. I've decided to do the same thing.**

**2.) Sorry for the brevity! I had a hard time bringing the words out.**

**Disclaimer in earlier chapters still in effect**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_Chapter Twenty-Four: Flag 01 - Tenri Route_

* * *

"...Ugh," said Akihisa, his soul encased in Keima's body. The Ultimate Idiot was on a bed in a room surrounded by games. Lots and lots of games. Way more than his measly collection. Then he notices something else: A girl is by his bed side. And it's a _cute_ girl. "G-Gwah!"

"W-What!?" exclaimed Tenri, falling off of the bedside. Akihisa stands up, hoping that neither Minami nor Mizuki were anywhere near.

"W-Who are you!?" cried Akihisa, pointing an accusing finger at the girl. "And where am I!? This isn't my room!"

"U-Um, Keima? We're in your room. A-Are you okay?" said the pig-tailed girl. Akihisa gets back onto the bed, and lies down.

"I must be dreaming," said the brunette, closing his eyes. Tenri sighed, and turned around. His eyes shot open at the sound of the sigh. Once she faced Akihisa, her formerly soft, black eyes were now an angry shade of red, and Akihisa could have sworn that she had a halo. He chalked up to his stupidity. She walked over to him, and pinched his cheek. Hard. Thanks to the pain, he comically shot up into the air, his head lodging itself into the ceiling. He placed his palms onto the ceiling, and pushed with all his might, dislodging his head. With a hard thud, he falls onto the bed. "What was that for!?"

"Just to confirm that this isn't a 'dream'," replied Diana, crossing her arms under her breasts. "You don't remember, but you're Keima Katsuragi. You got hit on the head 'accidentally', and you got amnesia-"

"...Amnesia?" The Goddess sighed.

"You lost your memory," answered Diana.

"...Amunezia or whatever you said could be right," said Akihisa, "but I'm probably not the guy you're looking for. I may be stupid and oblivious, but the one thing I'm sure of is that I'm Akihisa Yoshii."

"Oh yeah, _that_," replied Diana. "That name was implanted into your brain by aliens." Akihisa's jaw dropped.

"N-No way!" exclaimed Akihisa, waving his arms around comically. Diana laughed - genuinely laughed, seeing a surprised expression on Keima's normally stoic face for the first time - and said that she was just joking. Akihisa laughed along with her, a giant exaggerated sweat drop on his forehead. After stifling the laughter, Diana said, "If anyone calls you 'Keima', 'Katsuragi', or even 'Beloved', just go with the flow."

"...But I'm not any of those names." Diana sighed. Then, she put on an evil smirk, preparing to drop a bombshell.

"Anyway, I'm Tenri Ayukawa, your girlfriend. Please take care of me on our date."

* * *

_'Which god did I please to be able to go on a date with this girl?'_ asked Akihisa, shoulder to shoulder with Tenri. _'I must thank him.'_ The two mortals were on a date, thanks to the efforts of Diana. _'Though I just can't shake the feeling that I've been on something like this before.'_ Akihisa racked his brain, trying to remember his past. All he could recall was a hair-bow and a bunny hairclip. He could also remember dull , flat horizons, and steep, curvy hills, but he had no idea why.

"H-Hello, Tenri," said Akihisa, in a futile attempt to spark a little small talk between him and the girl with the bubble wrap. "You know Akih-" He was going to say what his name meant, till he remembered that he was supposed to be "Keima Katsuragi", according to the girl beside him. He didn't really know why she was obeying her command, but he did. Maybe he treated her as a trusted friend or something. Even so, some of her aspects seemed wrong. One example would be the weird eye change. They went from black to red, from wide to narrow. It was a turnabout, just like her weird mood swings. Speaking about mood swings, they were just plain creepy. Then, thanks to thinking too hard, he got a headache.

"K-Keima, are you okay?" asked his date, seeing the pained look on his face. She deduced that the pain was caused by a headache, seeing that his hand was hovering near his temples. She pulled out her wand - which was conveniently up her sleeve - and waved it, producing a Tylenol tablet. "Here, take this-" And with yet another wave of the wand, a water bottle appeared out of thin air. "-with this!"

"Whoa, awesome!" said Akihisa, taking the medicine. At the happy expression on his face, a flushed Tenri smiled brightly. To see that happy look on Keima's face was Tenri's dream, and she was to live it to the fullest! Akihisa was happy too. The tablet worked wonders for his headache, and it acted faster than it normally did. Kinda like magic.

Akihisa knew he was in safe company with the girl beside him.

* * *

**3.) Please tell me if you like the "Flag" chapters, and tell me if I got Akihisa's character right. I think he's a little OOC, but I could be wrong.**

**4.) REVIEW! More reviews = Faster Updates!**

**5.) If you've watched Clannad and loved it, get the game THIS INSTANT! It's awesome (though the elusive AfterStory is just a little too hard to reach)**

**Goodbye!**


	25. Me, Miharu, and Yui

**1.) Sorry to keep you all waiting! I was debating on whether I should add another chapter to the Flag spin-off chapters, or to just continue the main plot. As you can see, I chose the latter.**

**2.) Has anyone noticed that I switch the title templates? Y'know, it's a three part title for the BtT universe, while it's a Flagxx - X for Keima's universe.**

**Disclaimer still in effect**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_Chapter Twenty-Five: Me, Miharu, and Yui_

* * *

"Ugh..." groaned Keima, rubbing his head. "Goddess, what the Hell happened...?" He racked his brain, trying to recall the events. The Akihisa-shaped hole in the wall helped. Slowly, the details came back to him, and they weren't pleasant: Mizuki and Minami tend to him, Miharu appears, and throws Keima into the wall, Minami, wanting to get as far away from Mihari as possible, runs away, dragging the buxom pink-ette with her. Then, out of the blue, a guilty-looking duo consisting of Kanon and Haqua appears, just as Keima faints.

What a wonderful way to end the day.

Grunting, the suffering Keima pulled himself up, using the edge of his/Akihisa's bed to help him get back on his feet. He whipped open the curtains, and looked outside. The moon was at its peak - midnight, to be exact. Keima sighed. He must've been asleep for nine hours, severely cutting his Conquest time, and in turn, his gaming time. Oh, woe is he.

"That Real girl can throw a mean punch," complained Keima, cradling his chin. He shoved the pain away, as he checked for his PFP's safety. Luckily for him, it didn't even have a single nick to its name. He cuddled with the hamdheld, treating it as if it was a long lost son. "At least you're safe, PFP."

"Kami Nii-sama, you're awake!" cheered Elsie, his devilish partner. Then, her eyes turned watery, as her nose was filled with snot. "When you said, 'Farewell, Yokkyun' in your sleep, I-I thought you were.. _~Auah!_"

_'Did Miharu hit me that hard?'_ internally asked Keima to no one in particular. "Elsie, snap out of it, and call Shiori into the room, now!" After an overly peppy "_Hai_, Kami-sama!", the three century old devil ran outside. Keima's eye twitched at her enthusiasm. At the rate she was going, she would've wrangled in Shiori in five...

Four... then an ear-piercing "Shiori, come with me!" could be heard.

Three...

Two...

One...

"We're back, Kami Nii-sama!" exclaimed Elsie, a quiet Shiori in tow. Keima had to resist the urge to face palm. Didn't she know that Haqua and Kanon could've heard her!? The gamer sighed. She really was a bug demon.

"E-Elsie, I don't think you s-should have shouted," stuttered Shiori. "You might alert Kanon and Haqua." Finally, someone with logic!

"Hehe, sorry, Kami-sama," apologized Elsie, rubbing the back of her head awkwardly. Keima sighed for the nth time that night. At least she looked a little cute...

"Alright," said Keima, standing up from his sitting position. He immediately regretted it. Pain coiled around his leg, and strangled it, making Keima wince. In the midst of his Conquest, he had completely forgotten about his injury, which was nothing more than a curse. Before either one of the women could come to his aid, Keima said, "I-I'm fine. Let's just discuss the Conquest."

"I've formulated a plan," said Keima, capturing the girls' attention. "This will be a repeat of Yui Guido's Capture." Keima unknowingly winced. This reality and his reality had yet another similarity to add to the pile. "She won't notice my advances, since she's too fixated on Minami. I'll have to distract her with my own... more feminine charms."

Shiori's face instantly flushed, and looked like she was about to faint. It was understandable, since she was the one who saw the elusive Keiko Katsuragi first (excluding Haqua). She had to admit, though, Keima did look pretty cute...

"What feminine charms, Kami-sama?" asked Elsie, an innocent look on her face. She then recalled an anime where a curse befell a catastrophically unlucky butler, turning him into a girl (Hayate no Gotoku). "Oh, is Kami Nii-sama going to cross-dress?"

'Damn, the one time she isn't abysmally stupid is when we're talking about condescending stuff,' sighed Keima. To avoid embarrassment (though he wouldn't admit to being able to be embarrassed), he delved back into the world of gaming, setting his sights on Tomoyo Sakagami. "...Yes."

"O-Oh my Goddess! Wh-"

"What's wrong, Elsie!?" cried Haqua, rushing into the room. The three of them must've looked pretty weird, all huddled together in the corner of the room. Her eyes quickly darted to Keima. "...Anything wrong... _Keima_?"

"Why would anything be wrong, Haqua?" retorted Keima, a smirk on his face. "Is anything bad happening right now? Like an Archaic attack, or maybe a Con-"

"Well, Elsie was the one who yelled," countered Haqua, "so you tell me." Keima begrudgingly applauded her wit. Not to many people can say that they out talked the Capturing God, even if it was just one line. In fact, only two people can fit the bill (at least according to Keima): Haqua, and _her_.

Chihiro Kosaka.

"You are right, Elsie _was_ the one who screamed," said Keima, "so why don't we ask her?" All eyes were on Elsie, and Keima prayed that she would answer right.

Elsie had never felt so small in her life, with an ominous Haqua and an intimidating Keima both hovering over her, like an angel and a devil whispering temptations into her ears. Before Elsie could crack under the pressure, Kanon's soothing voice saved her. "Dinner is ready!"

"..You win this time, Keima," said Haqua, walking out the door. Keima and Elsie sighed out of relief at the same time, making Shiori giggle, which was really out of character. The two pseudo-siblings looked to the bookworm

"S-Sorry. It's just that you two really look l-like siblings. I-Is that wrong?" asked Shiori. For some reason, Elsie's expression noticeably darkened. Keima sighed.

What was wrong with this household!?

* * *

**4.) Keiko Katsuragi: I just gave a name to Keima's cross-dress character, kinda like how Hayate turned into Hermione**

**5.) For some reason, this chapter seems totally OOC. If you can, please tell me what's wrong with the chapter!**

**6.) Review! More reviews = Faster updates, so please do review!**

**Goodbye!**


	26. Flag 02 – Route Switch

**1.) Sorry to keep you waiting! Anyway, why am I shifted my update time from weekly to every other week? Well for one, I have to carefully guide this story to its end, which is a lot harder than I expected. Another, more interesting reason, is that... I'm planning yet another TWOGK story! Title? _The Crossover Only God Knows_! Here's the summary:**

_**Instead of sending Keima and Elsie to the past as the Goddesses intended, they open a rift which has summoned new heroines from the multi-verse. Forced to return the heroines back to their world - and save his own world - by Capturing their hearts, Keima Katsuragi, with Devils and Goddesses by his side, is in for a wild ride.**_

**2.) Sorry for another filler chapter. Bare with me, please!**

**Disclaimer still in effect (duh)**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_Chapter Twenty-Six: Flag 02 – Route Switch_

* * *

"Whoa, this tastes great!" said Akihisa, chewing on his Taiyaki, shoulder to shoulder with Tenri Ayukawa. They were on their second part of their... date, if Tenri could be believed. "You wanna try?"

"B-But...!" stuttered Tenri, her face flushed. She was eyeing the part bitten by Keima, her inner fantasies threatening to take over. She could hear Diana in her head, saying, _'Bite it,_ bite it!'

"...What's wrong, Tenri?" asked Akihisa, wiggling the treat in front of his... companion. Noticing her blush, Akihisa wondered if she had a fever. "Are you okay?"

_'Ugh, Tenri,'_ sighed Diana internally. _'C'mon, I'm taking over.'_ Tenri cringed, her eyes turning red, Diana taking over. Then, Diana looked at the fish-shaped cake, and blushed too. _'...On second thought, take the controls, Tenri. Be a woman!'_

"...Helloooo?" asked Akihisa, waving his hand in front of the girl. "Y'know what, if you really don't want it, I'll just eat it." Once Tenri finished swapping places with Diana, Akihisa had already eaten the whole _Taiyaki_. Tenri internally sighed out of relief.

"So," said Akihisa, leading Tenri away from the _Taiyaki_ stand in the mall, "Where do you want to go to next?"

"I-I'd be fine with anything," said Tenri, pulling out a fresh sheet of bubble wrap. Just spending time with Keima - or at least his figure - made her feel good.

"...Then let's go to that arcade!" cheered Akihisa. He grabbed onto the shoulders of the Goddess Host, making her blush, and directed her towards the arcade. In the light-and-sound filled room were games of all kinds, and tucked in the dark corners of the arcade was a pink photo booth... which Akihisa tried to avoid like the plague. Sure, he didn't have anything against pink photo booths, but he just had an ominous feeling when he laid his eyes on the booth. Almost as if he knew he'd get killed if he was caught taking pictures with a cute girl in a girly photo booth meant for only one person.

_'Gotcha! Tenri, switch!'_ exclaimed Diana, taking control. Using her godly strength, she shoved Akihisa into the photo booth - which was all the way across the arcade, mind you - and dashed into the booth herself. Once inside the _purikura_ (print club booth), Diana sat herself on Akihisa's lap, slipped a fifty yen coin into the slot, and swapped places with Tenri. Once she noticed what she was sitting on, she jumped up a little, blushing.

"...What just happened?" asked Akihisa, a giant drop of sweat on his face. Once he thought about avoiding the _purikura_ with all his might, life forced him into the booth. It was like Reality hated him or something. Little did the Ultimate Idiot know that he was somewhat right: Reality seemed to hate Keima, and Akihisa was residing in the Otamegane's body. "Never mind. Now that we're here, we might as well take a picture."

Tenri nodded, putting away her sheet of bubble wrap. Pressing a few buttons, Tenri and Akihisa got ready for the picture, which was sure to be cramped, since the _purikura_ they were occupying was a one-seater.

_Snap!_

Akihisa ushered the shy girl out of the booth to collect the photo. The picture looked a little weird. There was a ring of light hovering above Tenri's head, while Akihisa's hair was a lighter shade of brown, and the glasses were gone. It confused Akihisa. _'Tenri didn't change a filter while I wasn't looking, right?'_

"K-Keima, can I have a copy?" asked Tenri, motioning towards the perforated sheet of photos. Akihisa smiled, and tore off a copy of the weird photo, handing it to Tenri. Looking at it, she smiled shyly. "...This looks... nice."

"Yeah!" replied Akihisa, looking at the other attractions the arcade offered. His gaze fell on an air hockey table, and the happy-go-lucky young man grabbed Tenri's shoulders and led her to one side of the table, while he went to the other. "Let's play this!"

Akihisa put in a coin, the air hockey set coming to life. Grabbing the puck and mallet, Akihisa tossed the former over to his shy companion, saying, "Here, you serve. Don't worry, I'll hold back for you-"

Slam! The puck shot past Akihisa's idle mallet and into his goal, scoring a point for Tenri. Akihisa comically fell to the floor out of shock. He slowly yet surely helped himself up, a grimace on his face. Tenri just looked at him, her expression all worried. "A-Are you okay, K-Keima!?"

"I-I'm fine, Tenri, but it's time for me to get serious!" said Akihisa. He grabbed the puck in his hands, launched it up like a tennis serve, and smacked it towards Tenri. "_Faia toruneedo!_"

_'Watch out, Tenri!'_ cried Diana, switching places with Tenri. The puck that was veering from the goal towards Tenri's face was sent flying back towards Akihisa, courtesy of Diana's lightning-fast punch. The last thing Akihisa saw before he blacked out was a neon green puck sailing towards him.

* * *

"Ugh, what hit me?" muttered Akihisa, slowly regaining his consciousness. He looked up to see Tenri's heavenly face hovering above his. Looking forward, he could see that they were on a bench, though he couldn't see what his head was lying on, though he could tell that it was very, very soft. He felt like he was lying on a cloud. "Man... Oh yeah! Tenri, are you okay!?"

"Y-Yes, I'm fine, though I-I should be the one asking you that, K-Keima," replied Tenri, the ever-present bubble wrap popping under her touch. Akihisa took a deep breath, a fruity scent invading his senses. _'Whoa, this pillow smells just as good as it feels!'_

"Tenri, what brand is this pillow?" asked Akihisa, oblivious to the "pillow's" true nature. Tenri gasped, a blush appearing on her face. "It smells great, and feels even better!"

"...Y-You're lying on my lap."

Cue nosebleed. The red liquid summoned by Akihisa's perverse thoughts flew out of his nostrils, and onto the shy girl's luckily red blouse. Blood dribbling out of his nose, Akihisa quickly got up. "S-Sorry, Tenri."

"I-It's fine, Keima," said Tenri, reaching into her little purse. She pulled out a girly looking handkerchief, and tried to wipe the wet blood off of her shirt. Akihisa felt a little guilty, and would've apologized some more, had it not been for a Goddess Host's surprise arrival.

"Hey, Darling!" said Yui Guido, greeting Akihisa. "Sorry, Tenri, but it's my shift now." Tenri stayed silent, nodding slowly. Without waiting for a verbal response, Yui picked Akihisa up, and dragged him away. Here's Akihisa's thought process: Why did a guy just call me darling? What does he mean by "my shift"? Why is Tenri not saving me? And most importantly, _Why is a _guy_ carrying me off bridal-style!? _

* * *

_**Footnotes:**_

_**Purikura: A Japanese print club booth. Popular with female teenagers (and Keitaro Urashima)**_

_**Faia Toruneeedo!: Reference to Inazuma Eleven **_

* * *

**3.) Hopefully all you Akihisa fans enjoyed this story. Don't worry, we'll catch up with Keima's antics in the next chapter!**

**4.) If you've enjoyed this story, subscribe, review, even add it to your favorites! **

**That's all, folks! [Insert Looney Tunes outro here]**


	27. Me, Keiko, and a Mysterious Silhouette

**1.) Again, I apologize for the brevity of this chapter. I'm giving TCOGK my all, so I'm drained. I could barely write this chapter!**

**2.) If you like how I write TWOGK characters, please check out The Crossover Only God Knows. Yuuko Kinoshita's there!**

**Disclaimer still in effect**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_Chapter Twenty-Seven: Me, Keiko, and a Mysterious Silhouette_

* * *

"...Why's everyone so silent?" asked Kanon, looking at all the faces of her companions. It was a very acceptable question. After all, no one was talking. Sure, it was normal for Keima and Shiori to not be in a talkative mood, and on a bad day, Haqua might not want to talk all that much, but a speechless Elsie!? Was the world going into shambles!? "Is the food not that good? I can cook up a better batch-"

"I-It's fine, Kanon," said Haqua, cleaving the tension in the air in two. "We've all just had a bad day, right, Keima?" If Haqua's voice was a charismatic battle cry, Keima's response was a suicidal note: all the boy did was nod. Why such a depressing reply? Keima was too occupied by his all-too-important thoughts - about the Conquest, about his curse - that he could barely interact with the Real.

Noting the tense look on Keima, Kanon thought, _'Is it a good idea to leave his side to do his work for him? Or should I stay nearby and nurse him to health, so that he can do his duty? Dang, this whole fiasco is just the whole Citron thing all over again! Oh, I just hope that we all get out of this one unscathed!'_

* * *

"Here's Hideyoshi's phone, Kami Nii-sama!" said Elsie, handing Keima the green flip phone. Holding up a voice-changing bowtie straight out of a certain other Weekly Shounen Sunday manga (courtesy of Elsie's Celestial Robe), Keima dialed up a number, set the bow-tie to "unisex", and said, "Minami?"

"Yo, Hideyoshi?" replied the flat-chested woman. Why was Keima calling up Minami? It was to lure Miharu out into the open. Why was that necessary? You'll soon find out. "What do you need?"

"Could you meet me near the movie theater? I have to give you something," said Keima, silently apologizing to Hideyoshi. _'You have served me well, scapegoat.'_

"Give me what?" asked Minami, her tone becoming impatient. At that moment, Keima knew that he had to wrap the conversation up. The logical thing to do was to make something up... right? Nope. The situation was an exception to the rule: no matter what, the ideal outcome (Minami going to the movie theatre) shall happen. Her stubbornness, combined with her curiosity, will "force" her into obeying God's command. With that as his train-of-thought, he hung up, tossing the phone back to Elsie.

"Elsie, bring me to the park!" said a confidant Keima, pointing a finger in the park's direction. Elsie, pocketing the phone, looked at Keima funnily. Who wouldn't? The Capturing God was wearing a uniform. Nothing wrong with that, right? Yep... besides the fact that it's a girl's uniform.

"S-Sure, Kami Nii-sama!" cheered Elsie, startled a little by his choice of apparel, especially since the uniform looked _good_ on him, especially when paired with the hazelnut-hued wig. She whipped out her Celestial Robe, tied it around Keima's waist, and flew off into the setting sun.

* * *

"Where is she going?" asked a bewildered Miharu, following an agitated Minami, who was cursing Hideyoshi to the high heavens. They were both passing the park when something caught Miharu's eye.

_She was beautiful._

"The sky hasn't fallen yet." At the very top of a slide sat a bespectacled girl, who looked as regal as a queen, and if she was a queen, the slide was her throne. The enigmatic girl had her legs clutched towards her chest, giving off a slight air of innocence, as she looked towards the sky.

Yes, she was beautiful. So beautiful that Miharu forgot all about tailing her flat chested mistress. Noticing the lesbian for the first time, the girl with the glasses turned towards Miharu, her sharp leer piercing her Minami-owned heart.

"Quit being such a nuisance," said the girl, glaring at Miharu. It was at that moment when she knew that she belonged to the bespectacled girl. Climbing down the ladder, the girl made her way away from it. "I hate people who act too casual, so don't try to follow me."

"...Please, wait," said Miharu, her hand extended. The mysterious girl stopped, and spun on her heel, her scrutinizing gaze landing on the lesbian yet again. She tilted her head: the universal sign for "What do you want?" "My name's Miharu Shimizu. I wanna hang out with you, so are you up for a movie?"

"...Keiko Katsuragi," said the girl, a deafening silence ringing in Miharu's ears. She started walking off. saying, "Keep quiet and follow me..." Miharu nodded, and tagged along. As the two were walking towards the theater, Keima relayed the plan in his head again:

* * *

_FLASHBACK_

* * *

"The plan is to define the roles," said Keima to Shiori and Elsie. "The reason why Miharu's a tomboy is because Minami didn't claim the protagonist role, so Miharu was the one who nabbed it. As long as I set the pace and maintain control over Miharu, it'll be just like a normal Conquest."

* * *

_FLASHBACK_

* * *

A silhouette floated above the Capturing God and his Lost Lamb, a weapon in hand. "So this is what Keima's up to... hee hee hee..."

* * *

**3.) Hopefully this chapter satiated your TWOSK hunger (though I think the ending sort of sucked). Next chapter shall feature Akihisa's antics with Yui!**

**Review, and I'll see you later!**


	28. Flag 03 - Yui Route

**1.) Sorry to keep you waiting! Like I said, I'll be updating this every other week, so expect a Keima chapter to be posted on March 29, at the _very_ latest. Also, I think the Akihisa chapters are almost finished!**

**2.) Okay, this is _definitely_ not my best chapter. I think I got Yui's personality wrong, which is stupid, since I got her right in The Crossover Only God Knows, but I digress. Also, it isn't a long chapter: around 800 words. Sorry!**

**Disclaimer still in effect**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_Chapter Twenty-Eight: Flag 03 - Yui Route_

* * *

"Haruto, when do you think we'll be that close?" asked Yuzuki Eba, pointing at Yui and Akihisa. The duo was arm in arm, with Yui donning a white dress shirt and jeans. Akihisa, wearing a wig + sailor suit combo, tugged at his neck line. 'W-What have I gotten myself into!?'

"Don't worry, Yuzuki, we'll reach their level someday," replied Haruto Kirishima, walking away from Akihisa with his girlfriend in tow. Yui smiled at the couple, and at Akihisa too. Akihisa could only fake a smile in return. Still, he couldn't shake the feeling that he was in a situation like this before...

"Darling," said Yui, stirring Akihisa from his thoughts, "we only have a few hours left to be with each other, so let me lead you into a world that you've never seen before!" Before Akihisa could ask about the World Only She Knew, Yui assertively led Akihisa to a limo. Plopping into the comfy seat, Akihisa could definitely tell that he had never been in a limo.

"Yui, you have something I can wipe my face with?" asked Akihisa, not wanting to ruin the nice winter uniform she had lent him, even if it was by force. Shaking the thoughts out of his head, he closed his eyes, savoring the feel of the seat. He sighed comfortably, as Yui slipped her hand into his, leaving a nice, soft-as-cotton yet smooth-as-silk fabric in his fingers. Saying his thanks, he brought it to his face, wiping off the sweat. With the offending droplets off of his forehead, he opened his eyes, only to find... a bra in his hands. A pretty big bra, to be exact. In the blink of an eye, the white undergarment turned red, as Akihisa blacked out.

"D-Darling!?"

* * *

"Do you happen to have anemia, Keima?" asked Yui, as Akihisa stirred from his deep sleep. Man, two times in a row!? it wouldn't be surprising if Akihisa was an anemic. It wasn't his fault though. There were just too many cute girls surrounding him: first the shy Tenri, and now, the buxom Yui! He wondered about how many girlfriends he actually had. Tenri hadn't been all that specific, and she seemed reluctant to touch upon the topic. Oh well.

"No... at least I don't think so." The brunette got up from whatever he was lying on - a deluxe lazy boy couch (which wasn't as comfy as Tenri's lap, Akihisa noted) - and looked at Yui. He then remembered what Yui had said before he passed out. "Anyway, what do you want to show me?"

* * *

"A-Are you sure we're allowed to be here, Yui?" said Akihisa, looking at the barred up gates. The yellow tape sprawled randomly all over the entrance read "NO ENTRY: DANGER ZONE". That, combined with the fact that trespassing in school - at night, no less - is usually considered bad, deterred Akihisa.

"Yeah, it's just school," said Yui, walking back so that she could have a running start. Dashing to the gate, she jumped, flipping in the air. For a split second, her curled up body eclipsed the moon, and at that moment, Akihisa thought that she was majestic. Once her feet touched the ground, she stood up, holding her hands up high like an Olympic athlete. Akihisa swiftly pulled out a square card with "11" on it, making Yui giggle. "The only reason why school's sealed off is because-"

_'Yui, you can't tell him about the miasma!'_ chastised Mars. Yui sighed, remembering the briefing on "Keima's" real identity. "Uh, because..."

"...Because what?"

"B-Because it is!" said Yui, unable to come up with a decent excuse. Akihisa just tilted his head in confusion... and smiled.

"It's okay, I trust you," replied Akihisa, vaulting over the gate... and into a smiling Yui's arms.

"Thanks, Akihisa."

* * *

"You're a drummer?" asked Akihisa, as Yui sat down at the drum set. The duo was at the 2-B Pencils "studio", if an unused classroom qualified as a studio.

"Yes, Darling. This is the world I wanted to show you: the world where my whole world changed. I-I found friends, _real friends_... and rivals," said Yui, looking out the window towards the full moon. Akihisa couldn't help but admire her beauty. "When you meet my _other _darling, tell him that I'll be Capturing his heart."

"...Yui..." A deafening silence took control of the mood, till a beep shattered the tension. Pulling out her phone, Yui sighed, pocketing it again.

"Darling, it's time for you to meet your next lover."

* * *

"See you when it's my shift, Darling!" said Yui, shaking off the tension from the earlier scene, as she left Akihisa alone on the roof. Akihisa stopped and waved, till he could hear the door shut with a shattering boom. Turning around, he saw a girl sitting on a bench. He could tell that she was an... unorthodox girl. A blonde high-school girl observing the moon with a creepy doll in hand, at a shut-down school isn't something you'd see everyday. At the shut of the door, the blonde haired girl turned towards the boy, her eyes widening slightly.

"...Keima Katsuragi..."

* * *

_**Footnotes: **_

_**Haruto and Yuzuki: Characters from Kimi no Iru Machi **_

* * *

**3.) Yeah, sorry for the crappy chapter. It seems that I've fallen into the pitfall that many of my other stories have fallen into. I need some inspiration, so_ please_ review, even if you hated this Flag chapter.**

**So long...**


	29. Me, Miharu, and Slapstick Comedy

**1.) Hey, I'm back! Anyway, this chapter was brought to you by Carnival Phantasm (watch it!), which inspired the little Elsie skit you'll see later on, and the song Hero, by supercell, was what I listened to while typing down the chappie.**

**2.) I need to call fans of this fic something. Hmm... aha! Muffins! Oh wait, that's for a different story of mine (PJ:CotLG)... got it! Berries!**

**Disclaimer still in effect (so don't sue!)**

**Enjoy, Berries!**

* * *

_Chapter Twenty-Nine: Me, Miharu, and Slapstick Comedy_

* * *

_'Must make her fall for me more!'_ exclaimed Keima in his head, walking side by side with a half-confused-half-excited Miharu. The cross-dresser lead the love-yearning lesbian into a random restaurant. Upon seeing the sign, Keima noticed that the restaurant was the same one as the one he had taken Sumire to. Speaking of Sumire, her Conquest hadn't gone so well, so Keima hoped that starting the Conquest at the same place didn't mean that it would end at the same place. Fortunately, everything else, such as the stereotypical dinner+movie date, was going to be fine, at least according to the Capturing God.

Miharu, however, was a nervous wreck. Sure, she had forced a _very_ reluctant Minami on a few dates before, but Miharu was always the one in control. Being the submissive one was a new experience for the girl. It wasn't bad. In fact, it was pretty... _intoxicating._

They sit down at the table, bringing relief to Keima's cursed leg, which was flaring during the walk to the restaurant. Keeping a cool composure was the only thing keeping Keima from gritting his teeth. He decided that a few pain-killers before the all-nighter would do the trick.

"Itadakimasu." Once the meal was finished, a problem arose: the bill. Since the two were both "women", it was unclear, at least to tradition, about who would be the one to pay. In response to the problem, Keiko did what she apparently did best: glare coldly. That sent Miharu into a flashback-

_"Prove yourself to me, Miharu Shimizu," said Keiko, posing majestically in front of the lesbian, "and if you do, you'll experience a love beyond your wildest dreams."_

-and was reminded of the challenge given to her. Beyond her wildest dreams? The pinnacle of her dreams was marrying Minami and adopting babies. What more could you ask for? The only way she'd find out an answer to that would be to succeed and win the prize. "I guess I'll take the bill?"

She didn't receive a response, but for a split second, Keiko's lips curved up into a smile. More like a smirk, but getting any response out of the stoic Keiko was worth exaggerating. The girl-with-a-worldview interlaced her fingers, putting her elbows on the tabletop. Her thumbs started to move in a circle, probably meaning that Miharu had to continue taking the initiative.

"...Movies, perhaps?"

* * *

_'How dare they put Yokkyun in a movie just to get killed after five minutes of screen time!'_ cursed Keima, looking at the horror movie on the silver screen. _'I'll have to ask Haqua for her scythe, right after I find out the name of the director, and the name of the company that produced this worthless piece of bullsh-'_

"Is this fine, Ojou-sama?" whispered Miharu. Speaking about the lesbian, she started to fall into the rut that Keima had purposefully placed her in: obey Keiko, get rewarded and have morale boosted, accepting initiative, get rewarded again, have initiative taken away, and it goes on and on... but was that really bad, for a girl who was used to getting nothing in return?

"Yes," said Keiko, taking a deep breath. "Everything is fine." Once those last three words came out, Keima swore (internally, of course). He had just jinxed himself and the Conquest. With the way Reality hated him, cats and dogs and meatballs could fall out of the sky at any moment, or maybe a guy would walk up to his still-disguised person and confess his undying love for "Keiko"! Luckily, nothing like that happened.

The only thing that happened was that a bunch of stuff came out of the movie and proceeded to assault the movie-goers.

"What kind of slapstick comedy act is this!?" exclaimed Keiko out of character, as knives, whips, and a risqué set of belts flew out of the silver screen and at Keiko and Miharu. Then, Keiko notices that the way the objects were controlled was different from Phoebe's. Phoebe was just a medium. She could only affect he natural aspects of objects. For example, a water fountain spurts out water. Phoebe merely increased the intensity of the gush of water. Same goes with the tree - when trees age, sometimes they fall down on their own. Phoebe simply sped up the process so much that the wood in the truck couldn't keep up, making it splinter in a large radius. Instead, the objects sprung from the movie, and screens don't normally spit out the stuff they're displaying. Only one Goddess had the power to control anything they desired...

_'Hephaestus!'_

* * *

"Let's play Truth or Dare!" Those five words Summoned a deafening silence to disturb the lighthearted mood, as Kanon, Haqua, and Shiori stopped what they were doing to stare at Elsie. "Why not? Kanon and Haqua are tired because of Kami Nii-sama's awesome evasion stat, and Shiori still can't talk straight! Wouldn't a good round of ToD relieve you of your fatigue and help you form your sentences right?"

All three heads shook simultaneously. "B-But why!"

"Truth or dare doesn't really help relieve stress and fatigue," said Kanon, taking Rin Tohsaka Position 1: left hand on right elbow with right index finger pointing skyward. "In fact, it increases the two, because of the pressure that some of the questions and tasks may bring. Trust me, I'm speaking from experience." She shuddered at the memory of her and her co-workers playing the game on her one free hour of the month.

"Plus, Truth or Dare won't really progress the plot, or provide any kind of important character development," said Haqua, shrugging her shoulders. "It's basically for fluff and fan-service purposes, and I, the Pride of New Hell, refuse to demean myself!"

"_~Auah!_ Even though your pride was declared abysmal because of all those ecchi moments in the manga, you're still going to try and protect it!?" cried Elsie, making Haqua face-fault.

"For the record, I can speak straight sentences," said Shiori, shocking them all. "The side-effect it that... you know when someone does something completely out of character, and another character says 'The Apocalypse is upon us!'? Yeah, that's what happens."

"Wait, that means..." Everyone waited for five minutes till a slightly dim lightbulb appeared above Elsie's head. _"Kami Nii-sama!"_

"Keima, we'll always remember you," said Shiori, hand over heart, with the other two girls in the exact same pose.

"W-What the...?"

* * *

"This is it, our final battle!" cried Keiko, pointing at the screen. A shocked Miharu looked at where Keiko was pointing with the most attentive of gazes. "Prove yourself to me, Miharu Shimizu!"

"...Yes, Ojou-sama!" yelled the one with a formerly unrequited love, pulling forks out of her hair. As a zombie part flew at Keiko's face, a fork intercepted it, piercing it to the wall. Then, the worst possible thing happened.

"It's quiet... _too_ quiet," said the main protagonist, gun at the ready. Keima hoped that an anthropomorphic version of Reality existed, so that he could kick it where the sun don't shine. Once that line was said, all hell would break loose, and since the hell was connected with the power of Hephaestus.

"I don't think I can handle this, mi'lady!" gritted Miharu, crossing her newly acquired bread-knives in front of her, as the bullets, zombie parts, and blood from the movie were sent flying at her and her mistress. Once the lesbian felt a tap on the shoulder, she turned her head around, only to face a smiling Keiko. Yes, _a smiling Keiko_.

"I suppose that we must run away together," said Keiko, still smiling. Morale rest

* * *

"W-We made it ***huff***, my-my lady," huffed Miharu, hands on her knees due to exhaustion. Keiko, who had been laid onto a nice patch of cool grass, looked up into the night sky, and smiled softly.

"Miharu," said the enigmatic woman, getting up. She reached into Miharu's hair, pulling out a bread-knife, still caked with the blood from the Decisive Battle that occurred in the theater earlier. Waving the knife over both of Miharu's shoulders, she said, "Be my knight, forever and ever, and love me till the end of time."

"Y-Yes, Lady Keiko."

And the Runaway Spirit was sent skyward.

* * *

"So Miharu only wanted a love that loved her back," sighed Keima, walking to the front of his apartment. Opening the door, he stepped into... a hellish inferno of pain waiting to be inflicted. Hovering over him was a Kanon wielding twin tazers, miasma leaking out of her, thanks to her Super Yandere state. On the pink-ette's right was Haqua, flames jumping about on the scythe in her hands.

"Keima, why didn't you stay and rest?" asked Kanon, her short hair ominously floating up.

"And we were supposed to take care of the Conquest ourselves..." said Haqua, a fiery blaze in her eyes. Keima gulped, looking around for anyone to help him. Shiori was sitting there, reading a book, though Keima could tell that she was pitying his position. Of course, Elsie was nabbing the Spirit, so she wasn't around to quell the two girls' rage. Keima sighed, and submitted to his cruel fate.

A death cry of an Otamegane could be heard all throughout the neighborhood.

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_**Footnotes:**_

_**Rin Tohsaka: One of the main heroines in Fate/Stay Night**_

**_This is it, our final battle!: Fire Emblem 13 reference _**

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**3.) Y'know how I was unsatisfied with the other chapters? Well, I'm perfectly fine with this one! Though the ending seemed to be crumbling apart a bit, but oh well!**

**4.) Please support the story by reviewing, subscribing, and adding this story to your favorites! Each and everyone counts!**

* * *

**So long!**


	30. Flag 04 – Me, Akihisa, and Harem Hijinks

**1.) To commemorate the 30th chapter, I've decided to do a few things for you Berries, and one will be explained later. This has almost 2k words (~1800 to be exact), which is about two times the length of the usual chapters. Also, I'm releasing this early!**

**2.) The other special thing - which I'm hinting at in the title of the chappie - which I'm going to do is this: I'm combining both Keima's Side and Akihisa's Side into one chapter: a Keimakihisa Side chapter, if you will.**_  
_

**3.) Shout-out to _finalsacre _for giving me a plot device to use. Thanks!**

**Disclaimer still in effect.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_Chapter Thirty: Flag 04 – Keima, Akihisa, and Harem Hijinks_

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_Keima Katsuragi_

* * *

"Ugh..." moaned Keima Katsuragi, pressing a bag of ice to his head. The ice served to help assuage the pain that came with charred and swollen skin. Apparently, Kanon and Haqua had beat him pretty thoroughly, though the former seemed to regret it, with the sad look on her face.

"Sorry, Keima," said Kanon, her gentle gaze landing on on Keima's face, even if the purple from the bruises and the black from the taser mixed together to make a pretty grotesque complexion. The idol internally cringed. "We may have gone a little too far-"

"As if!" interjected an outraged Haqua, her hand still gripping her scythe. "This dastard deserved that and more! Just thinking about his insensitivity makes me want to have a round two, and I'm sick if it!" She lunged the butt of her scythe like a spear at Keima's gut with the force of a sledgehammer, making him double over. She then promptly left the poor gamer as a broken mess on the floor.

_'Dang that hurt,'_ internally groaned Keima, rubbing his sore stomach. He decided to just leave the injuries to the surprisingly good regenerative ability of the body Keima was currently in, not that he lacked inhuman healing before. _'Reality needs to give me some more Defense points. Anyway, it seems that Haqua's _tsun-tsun_ ability was activated by what Vulcan would call 'my unfaithful nature'. How will that wild card affect the current state of events...'_

* * *

_Akihisa Yoshii_

* * *

"W-Why are you using a telescope?" asked Akihisa, bewildered by the giant telescope. Tsukiyo, shocked that Keima could lose his composure so quickly, quickly stood up, bringing Luna, and as a result, Vulcan, with her. Tsukiyo hoped that she looked presentable enough. The Goddess, on the other hand, had more malicious thoughts on her mind._ 'Haha, finally, payback! Even if this isn't really Keima, rumor has it that he'll feel whatever this bozo feels in wherever he is. But then this innocent human's going to get hurt too... oh well. Sacrifice for the greater good.'_

"Are you... contacting aliens!?" cried Akihisa, getting into a battle stance. He never knew when he would have to run away- ahem, tactically retreat from his so-called girlfriend. It wasn't just because she could be in cahoots with extra-terrestrial beings: the doll she was holding was emitting a strange black miasma, and Akihisa didn't like it one bit. He didn't like it any better when it started to float towards him. With a cry of "Flying doll!", Akihisa dashed away from Vulcan, using luck that wasn't normally on his person to dodge the flying knife, bench, and potted plant that went his way.

"Talking like that is most unbecoming of Tsukiyo's beloved!" chastised the Eldest and Wisest Goddess, who became more and more unworthy of her title as she flung lethal object after lethal object at Akihisa. Speaking of the boy, he had a sudden inspiration, and like how a RPG character suddenly gained a new skill after gaining enough experience, Akihisa remembered a skill from his past after enough pointy objects were flung his way.

"Tatami _flip!_" cried Akihisa, slamming his foot onto the edge of the tatami mat underneath the soles. The leverage caused the mat to stand up, blocking a gardening shear, a very sharp chopstick, and a guitar pick. Vulcan was shocked.

"Where did that tatami mat come from!?" asked the discombobulated Goddess. They were on the roof. There was no way that there would be a tatami mat on the roof, since school was closed and all. Akihisa, flicking his head as to remove the loose strands of hair, smirked and shrugged. He pointed a finger at a Goddess, his pose akin to a certain Ace Attorney's.

"Where did all those objects come from!?" retorted the Ultimate Idiot, putting his hands on his hips. Vulcan grit her teeth. She had been getting objects that she has stockpiled under the bench Tsukiyo was sitting at. There was no way that he would be able to get anything from it, much less a giant tatami mat, unless... "N-No way, you-"

Before Vulcan could say "-'re a Magical Girl in disguise ?", Akihisa took the initiative, pulling out the thing that gave him the tatami mat, and said "This magic pair of panties had a tatami mat inside!"

"...You are a gross pervert after all..." said the doll as more miasma leaked out of it. Akihisa's smirk didn't falter... till he finally figured out exactly what he was holding: panties. As Akihisa slowly lost consciousness, red droplets staining the garment with the moon motif, an old memory of his resurfaced:

_"Deep beneath the skirt lies a man's romance, dreams, and hopes. There's not a moment of boredom!"_

And Akihisa couldn't help but agree.

* * *

_Keima Katsuragi_

* * *

As Class F was having a lesson (or a gaming session, from Keima's perspective), a knock overshadowed the teacher's voice. With the said teacher's consent, the door was opened, revealing long, flowing waist-long violet hair, pretty features, a nice bust, a slim figure, and a cold expression with just a hint of sunshine.

Enter Shouko Kirishima.

"Haqua du Lot Herminium," said the former_ Yandere_ as the scythe-wielder's head snapped up. "Please transfer over to Class A: your laptop air-conditioner, fridge, recliner, and all other necessities have all been prepared. We are happy to welcome you to 2-A." The Class Representative was greeted with a lot of gasps from Class F: Haqua was one of the few girls in the sausage-fest called 2-F, and she was the only girl who seemed to dislike Akihisa in a romantic way. The loss of her meant the loss of the hopes and dreams of the men of 2-F.

"No need to be so formal, Shouko," said Haqua, her bag already packed. She looked to the teacher, who was salivating at the thought of teaching with a wide-screen plasma-screen instead of a chalk-less chalkboard. "I shall take my leave now." The _pettanko_ followed the C-cup out of the classroom, leaving Keima to his thoughts. He seemed to be having internal monologues a lot, lately, huh.

_'I didn't expect this, though I should've seen this coming,'_ said Keima, berating himself._ 'When people transfer in, they are automatically put in Class F. Then, they can have a placement test to move to the class that best suits their intelligence. The only reason why she didn't transfer was because of me, so when I ticked her off too much, she had no reason to stay in a ghetto like this any longer. Hm, how to use this to my advantage...'_

* * *

_Akihisa Yoshii_

* * *

After waking up (and after a lot of rushed apologies and painful beatings), Akihisa was given a little peace and quiet - which he really needed – by Tsukiyo Kujyou's side. Speaking about the orange-blonde selenomaniac, she was peering up at the Celestial Body which showered the both of them with its gentle light. Curious, Akihisa asked, "Is it fun?"

"What are you talking about?" asked the girl, removing her eye from the telescope to look at him to not look rude.

"Is it fun looking at the moon?" Normally, when people asked that, they meant it as an insult, so Tsukiyo would normally ignore it. The innocent look on his face lacked any trace of insult. It was pretty refreshing.

"Even if I enjoy it, it's an opinion based matter," said the seventeen year old, gesturing towards the telescope. "You'd have to try it yourself."

"Can I?" Before Tsukiyo could respond, the boy nabbed the telescope, and looked into it. He was greeted with the moon in all its glory. Slowly removing his eyes from the device, he smiled.

"The moon's pretty beautiful," said Akihisa, causing a blush to come over Tsukiyo's features.

_'I-Is this what Keima meant when he said 'We will see the beautiful things in this world together'? And why do I feel so... giddy. I only felt this when HE jumped off that building to save me. Hmm...'_

Before Tsukiyo could act on her giddiness, they interrupted by yet another person intruding into the vacated Mai-High academy. With a dark skin tone, silver-white hair, fiery red eyes, and an overall sleepy disposition, the intruder could only be one person.

"Imouto-san!" said Vulcan, who had Switched with Tsukiyo, Now that he was up close, Akihisa could notice that whenever the doll moved, Tsukiyo's body would freeze up like a statue. "What're you doing here!? Even if I don't approve of this miserable little pile of secrets, Tsukiyo need him for her happiness, so leave!"

"Sorry, but it's the legal wife's turn to enjoy the boy," said Mercury, stretching. Then she suddenly flipped over a bench that had suddenly lodged itself where Mercury had just been. Once that happened, Akihisa sprung to his feet and ran towards the conflict. He didn't want his friends hurt, especially since it would be all his fault if they did get injured.

"Wait! Let's talk this out, instead of fighting!" At those eight words, all physical conflict ceased, as Vulcan put down all the objects she was levitating and Mercury relaxed her muscles. The two Dieties looked at each other, their status as Sisters allowing them to communicate with each other telepathically. Once a silent agreement was reached, the two nodded their heads, saying, "Fine, let's share him."

_What!?_

* * *

_Keima Katsuragi_

* * *

At lunch, on the rooftop, Haqua's absence was felt, as an uncomfortable silence settled on the normally cheerful event. Keima conjectured that the scythe-wielder was absent because she was being introduced to the rest of the class, but he didn't want to tell them, and risk them confronting the wild card. Shaking the thoughts out of his head, he continued to game in silence... till Elsie spoke up.

"Kami Nii-sama, why did Haqua leave us?" asked Elsie, somehow knowing that he had the answer. He was kind of startled by the unwavering faith that the buggy demon had for him, but chalked it up to her childish naïvety.

"She most probably left because I am 'mistreating' her. She'll get over it eventually," replied Keima, letting the three girls digest the information. Before Elsie could say something else, Keima continued. "And before you ask, no, I will not ask her directly to come back to us." He didn't really have the heart to say that Haqua would probably not come back to 2-F, since he knew that Fumizuki Academy didn't allow transfers unless it was recommended by the parents, the home-room teacher, the Head Teacher of the Batch, and the Principal herself. "It's not like there are no benefits to this. She can watch Yuuko Kinoshita closely, in case she Switches with Ares again."

"But-"

_"Akihisa!"_ cried a familiar baritone voice. The doors to the roof flung open, a androgynous male and a pervert with a camera in the wake of a panicked Yuuji. Keima, pocketing his PFP, got up, a serious look on his face. "Class A declared War on us!"

* * *

_**Footnotes:**_

_**Ace Attorney: Reference to the Ace Attorney series**_

_**Selenomania: Obsession with the moon (at least according to this one site)**_

_**Miserable little pile of secrets: Reference to the game Castlevania: Symphony of the Night **_

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**4.) If you've enjoyed this chapter, please support the story by reviewing, subscribing, and adding it to your favorites. **

**5****.) A thing I really want to know is if I blended the two correctly, so please add that to your review, if you _are_ going to review.**

**Catch ya next time!**


	31. Me, Mechas, and Explosions

**1.) Sorry, this is one of those "decent" chapters that I don't really consider good. I may come back to clean this up a little, though.**

**2.) Updates may come late, since we're hitting potholes here, berries! I'm trying to decide whether to add another heroine, or start the 19***** 7****** 3*******.**

**Disclaimer still in effect**

**Enjoy!**

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_Chapter Thirty-One: Me, Mechas, and Explosions_

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"...Why are we wearing army fatigues again?" asked Keima, tugging at the outfit that was on his person. In fact, everyone had the same green-and-brown mess that he had on, well, everyone except for Kouta, who had on his usual ninja gear. All the denizens of Class F who were actually paying a decent amount of attention shrugged in response, and Keima sighed in return.

"Anyway," said Yuuji, pointing at a map of the school, "Akihisa, with his surprisingly strong Shoukanjuu, and Mizuki shall hold this choke point." He pointed at the corridor connecting the old building and the new building. "While he's holding them off, the others shall retreat to the roof. Up there is a teacher that we've captured, and she'll be hosting some tests, so get your points up! Once I give Akihisa and Mizuki the signal, he'll retreat, and we'll spring a trap door on them, taking out a good few of their forces. Then, we gang up on the rest."

"When did you get the time to make a trap door!?" asked Keima. He was quickly ignored, as Yuuji took a pose, with Hideyoshi and Kouta joining in.

"Prepare for battle!" cried Yuuji, charging out the door with the rest of the class following his lead. Keima found himself knocked down and trampled. Once the room was nearly vacated, Keima steadily stood up. He could've sworn that one of them had worn cleats. Instantly, Mizuki rushed over, concern plastered all over her face.

"Are you okay, Akihisa?" asked Mizuki. Keima, a little too winded to talk, grinned and nodded. Then a war cry made them both jump. "Let's go!" Once they jumped out of the classroom, they were met with their opponents. An army of twenty-five stood in front of them, with Shouko and Haqua leading the troops. Not too far behind was Yuuko, who didn't look pleased. When Keima's eyes met the scythe-wielder's, they narrowed.

"You have anything left to say, Akihisa?" asked Haqua, her hand on her hip. It was like she was asking him for his last words, and Keima didn't like that one bit. She knew how strong he was, so the confidence wasn't out of ignorance. What was up her sleeve?

"I have no words for a person like you," said Keima, as a teacher summoned a technological field over the hallway. "_Summon!_" A magic circle appeared, and a mecha slid out, its gun and laser sword at the ready. Above it was the number "1010", shocking a few of the Class A's. Apparently, there were some who still doubted the "Smart Akihisa" rumors, but it was kinda hard to doubt a fact when it was right in front of your eyes. Shaking themselves out of their reverie, the rest summoned their Shoukanjuus, magic circles popping up everywhere. That was till Haqua held up a hand.

"Let Shouko and I handle this," said Haqua, twirling her scythe so fast, that it looked like a razor-sharp disk. Out of that disk came her Summon, who looked pretty familiar. Her face... er... _skull_ looked just like a Sensor, and the scythe it wielded looked just like Haqua's, only smaller. The cloaked skeleton would've looked insanely menacing... had it not been for its short stature. It was a Shoukanjuu fist shorter than the rest of the Summons, and the mecha Keima had loomed over the skeletal Summon. "Meet my Summon Dokuro."

"You named your Summon?" asked Keima, sweat-dropping. "Who are you? Elsie?"

"...Anyway, this Summon has a special ability," said Haqua, patting the Avatar on the head... er... skull. "Wanna guess what it is-"

"As one!" cried Keima, pointing at the scythe-wielder. Mizuki nodded, as the knight and the mecha sprung into action. Before the skeleton could be skewered... er... hurt, a blur shoved both it and the skeleton out of the lazer sword's path, and blocked Mizuki's broadsword with her katana.

"Watch yourself," said Shouko, as the points for all the shoukanjuus were posted:

**Yoshii + Himeji VS Kirishima + du Lot Herminium**

**1010 + 600 VS 1005 + 605**

_'A tie. Somehow, I'm always getting myself into tied matches,'_ said Keima, as his Summon blocked a swing from Haqua. Before she could get back in range, the mecha fired out a few shots, making her back away. Of course, that put Mizuki in her range, who was too occupied by Shouko to dodge. "Mizuki!"

The mecha rushed over to Mizuki using its boosters, slamming into the scythe's blade. Instantly, pain shot up Keima's abdomen, as Keima's score was drastically lowered... and Haqua's was raised.

**Yoshii + Himeji VS Kirishima + du Lot Herminium**

**909 + 600 VS 1005 + 706**

"Akihisa!" cried Mizuki, patting Keima's stomach, much to the make population's dismay. "Are you okay?"

"Do you understand now, Kei- Akihisa?" said Haqua. "My lifeless Shoukanjuu sucks the life out of other Summons. Ready to accept defeat and let us pass?" Keima, who was bent over, straightened up, a smirk on his face.

"It was a nice plan," said Keima, looking at Mizuki, "but there was one flaw."

"What?"

"You assumed that your Summon was the only one with a special ability," said Keima. He knew that this was gonna hurt, but he had no choice. He had to put Haqua in her place. "Shoukanjuu, self-destruct."

_**Boom! **_

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**3.) Like the chapter/story? Please support it by reviewing/subscribing/favorite-ing!**

**4.) If you _are _going to review, then why not suggest a heroine!**

**5.) I keep on ending these stories with a "Goodbye" or something similar, so I decided to shake things up a little! It's random quote time!**

**_"We're not pawns of some scripted fate. I believe we're more. Much more... There's something between us all. Something that keeps us together... Like...invisible ties, connecting us." - Robin, Fire Emblem: Awakening_**


	32. Flag 05 – Ayumi & Tsukiyo Route

**1.) Sorry to keep you waiting! I'm a day late, but hopefully fifteen days isn't too long. Luckily, I managed to scrape enough words to reach the length of an average chapter, even though I had no idea where Akihisa's Side was going.**

**2.) Because someone asked for it, I've decided to rename the followers of TWOSK from Berries to Myrmidons. Why? It was the first thing on my mind.**

**Disclaimer still in effect, people!**

**Enjoy!**

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_Chapter Thirty-Two: Flag 05 – Ayumi + Tsukiyo Route_

* * *

"Uh..." said Akihisa, slowly backing away as the two Goddesses walked/floated towards him, "what do you mean by 'share'?" He kept on back tracking till his calf hit the bench where a vegetative Tsukiyo sat. He tripped, falling next to the kneeling girl, his arm accidentally circling her shoulder. In response, the floating doll vibrated violently till she calmed herself down, and the ever unemotional Mercury merely widened her almost closed eyes a little. The Goddesses approached Akihisa, as he shrunk down out of fear. He could barely defend himself against one of those beings – he wouldn't be able to last long against two! Mercury slid her frame in between Akihisa's and Tsukiyo's, as Vulcan floated on Akihisa's other side.

"Take care of Ayumi for me, 'kay?" said Mercury, her slits closing shut, as a glimmer of light shone off of her. After the blinding light died down, a Reverted Ayumi, eyes closed, was in Mercury's place. She slowly opened her eyes, and jumped back at the sight of Keima face-to-face with her. In the process, she accidentally knocked Tsukiyo down, Reverting her. With the thud of Luna on the cold concrete, the blonde moon-lover got up. Both of the Hosts pulled out a reflective surface – Ayumi brought out a cellphone, its dark light reflecting the runner's delicate features, and Tsukiyo unsheathed a pocket mirror – as the Goddesses both said: "Go get your man!"

That was Akihisa's cue to run, as he dashed towards the staircase to the world below. Ayumi blushed, pocketed her phone, and rocketed towards the poor boy, a little desperate for attention. Tsukiyo, looking at their antics, sighed and pulled an umbrella from her bag of telescope equipment. Packing her things in a flash, she opened the umbrella, the winds lifting her towards the night sky. Meanwhile, Akihisa was being quickly approached by the human missile, as he darted in and out of classrooms. He didn't do that just for the sake of trying to throw her off: he needed to have something to fight her off with. In the classrooms, he found weapons he was sure to have wielded in his past life.

"Why are you chasing me!?" cried Akihisa, throwing pencil after pencil at the short-haired girl. Once thrown, they flew threw the air like a speeding bullet, but always stopped short of Ayumi's head. Instead, they dropped to the floor like lead, in an attempt to trip up the track-and-field member. Of course, Ayumi was skilled in that area, and leaped over the pencils like hurdles.

"To make you follow-up on that marriage proposal that you promised me!" replied Ayumi, her raging emotions making her go even faster than before. Luckily for Akihisa, the corridor that they had reached was lined with tatami mats – perfect for Akihisa's signature defense move. Tatami flip after tatami flip kept on smashing into the blazing Ayumi, slowing down her velocity bit by bit, and a final flip sent Akihisa flying away from Ayumi... and out a window. "Are you insane!?"

"_Gwah!_" cried Akihisa. Chalk that up on the unending list of Akihisa's idiotic ideas. As he prayed to whatever deity he believed in (a bespectacled brunette always appeared in his head, for some reason), his flailing hand was caught by none other than Tsukiyo Kujyou, pulling off a pretty good Mary Poppins impression. If she were to just smile (maybe wear a wig), Akihisa would've been able to picture her feeding kids sugar to counter the bitterness of medicine and feeling Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. "Thanks a lot, Tsukiyo!"

"You are welcome, Keima," said Tsukiyo, just as their feet touched the ground outside of school. Blushing a little, she then latched her arm around Akihisa's, steering him away from the gate, just as Ayumi busted them open, the yellow tape flying from all directions. She swiftly latched onto his vacant arm, effectively sandwiching Akihisa between two beauties. Instantly, his blood started pumping faster and faster, making it take all of Akihisa's courage just to keep his nose from projectiling the red fluid.

"Wait, if we were just going to do this, then why did we have to do all the chasing!?" cried Akihisa, some of Keima's logic seeping into him. As the girls shrugged, the bespectacled boy's cynicism seeped in too. "Well, that's just great."

* * *

"The moon is beautiful here." After walking for a few miles, with glares directed at Akihisa every now and then ("Heh, that two-timer must've been caught by both girlfriends"), they reached the harbor. Luckily for them, it seemed that no one was there – weird, sure, but convenient nonetheless. Akihisa nodded his head, as Ayumi dragged Akihisa closer to the abandoned ship. A reluctant Tsukiyo was dragged along, lest she leave "Keima" alone with the competition. Up on deck, Ayumi kicked away a loose panel on the ship, the board of wood sliding far, far away from the trio. She reached inside, unearthing a tuxedo and wedding gown. Pulling both of the garments out, she faced Akihisa with a smile on her face. Akihisa tilted his head out of confusion.

"Oh yeah, you have amnesia," said Ayumi, scratching her head with her free hand. Akihisa's inquistive tilt deepened – was that what Tenri told them? Tsukiyo's frown deepened, as a cranky Vulcan got even crankier. "This tux was what you wore when you gave me this dress and told me to marry you. We were supposed to get hitched, but you sorta left after the pre-ceremony kiss. Can we continue-"

"_We,_" interjected Tsukiyo, cutting off the runner, "were just about to go moongazing on a nearby hill. You can have your little ceremony some other lifetime." As the two ladies politely glared at each other, Akihisa was reminded of the earlier bout between Mercury and Vulcan, and he didn't want a mortal repeat. He quickly stepped into the crossfire of eye daggers to separate the two ladies, and said, "Why not both?"

"..." Silence reigned, as both girls slapped their palms to their faces. Tsukiyo was the first to recover from a dose of Akihisa's stupidity, and said, "You can't go moongazing on a hill while having a wedding ceremony at a church."

"Um... you can have the ceremony outside instead?"

"You were the one who said that there has to be a big kiss _in a church_ with the words 'Happy End' floating outside," said Ayumi, finally recovered from the Ultimate Idiot's idiocy. Akihisa had to keep himself from falling flat on his face. Who would be so stingy as to put unorthodox requirements on a loving union!? If Akihisa were to ever meet the guy, he'd probably hate him.

"Okay, okay," said Akihisa, who at the very least diverted the girls' anger away from each other, "I have an idea. If I can't give Tsukiyo her 'all alone with me under the moonlight' and your 'get married in a church' thing at the same time..."

"...Maybe we could mix them together."

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**3.) Mwahaha, cliffies! Anyway, you'll see the outcome in chapter 34, whenever _that_ comes out.**

**4.) Please continue to support this piece of fiction by adding this to your favorites and alerts list, and by reviewing. If you _do_ review, feel free to suggest a next heroine (I'm probably going to do two more, then wrap up the story). **

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**_Our only limits are the ones we place on ourselves - Cordelia, Fire Emblem: Awakening_**


	33. Me, Hell, and Games

**1.) Sorry for the late update yet again. Hello from America! Man, the vacation feel just has me feeling lazy. Don't worry, while I was being lazy, I _was_ doing TWOSK related stuff, (SPOILER: I'm talking about the Goddesses and their hosts. Yes, they're coming back!) albeit planning stuff, not actual writing. Also, my partnership with a certain other author whom you probably know (she's loved by the TWOGK fans, but she's a taskmaster) is keeping me busy too. If you're reading this, W, sorry for slacking off!**

**2.) For all those fans who wan't more interaction between Keima and the cast of BtT, this is the chapter for you. Aside from the crappy segue (I have to fix that), I'm pretty content with the game segment, which is ripped directly from the actual "episode".**

**Disclaimer still in effect.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_Chapter Thirty-Three: Me, Hell, and Games_

* * *

"Ugh," mumbled Keima, regaining his consciousness. Luckily for him, the explosion was so big and so fast, that his brain had immediately overloaded, cutting off his consciousness before the pain could be noticed. Unluckily, Keima forgot where people KIA-ed ended up. Lifting his forehead off of the desk he was placed on, he looked up just in time to see Ironman. From the angle Keima's head was tilted at, the hulking mass of a teacher looked forty feet tall, and was it just him, or was the classroom behind him on fire. Ironman's eye's glinted, as Keima's face paled. If Iromman was a giant, Keima was a little ant: completely different from the arrogant God he usually was.

"Long time no see, Akihisa," said the bouncer-like teacher, cracking his knuckles. "Welcome back to hell."

"**Nooooooooooooooo!**"

*Scene Break*

"That was almost as bad as Nora killing Yokkyun," muttered Keima, rubbing his arms with his hands like it was winter. He unsheathed his PFP, checking his reflection on the dark screen. It was a little blurry, but he could definitely tell that he was as pale as snow. It made Keima wonder how Akihisa survived going there all the time. It really was hell in there. "Ugh... oh. Hey."

"Yo, Akihisa!" said Yuuji, who stood by Hideyoshi, Kouta, and Minami, patting him and his frail constitution on the back so hard that he almost fell down. "Thanks to you, we carried the day! Your self-destruct tactic vaporized half of their fleet, including Shouko, Haqua, most of the heavy hitters: just as we finished preparations. By the end, there were no other casualties than you, Mizuki, and a few NPCs... and me. Yeah, Yuuko somehow got the drop on me just as her own Shoukanjuu was felled, so it's officially a draw. At the very least no one will try to beat down on F now that A's weakened - everyone wants that classroom."

"Well is Mizuki alright?" asked Keima, trying to keep in character. Out of his sight was a grimacing Minami. Kouta shrugged, his camera flashing into his hands in case the buxom girl in question was nearby. Yuuji shrugged his shoulders, as Hideyoshi asked, "Well, we were held up by the post-war negotiations, so we probably missed her. I'd phone her, but it's still getting repaired."

"Okay, okay, let's stop this meaty exposition," said Keima, pulling out his PFP. "Anyway, see you later-"

"Wait," interjected Yuuji putting a hand on Akihisa's shoulder. "We haven't hung out in a while, and Aiko's holding a game session 2-F. I don't know what the game is though. You in?"

Sighing, Keima pocked his PFP. He looked around for Elsie's unmistakable mug - she was sure to stop him from going, which was his preferred outcome. Of course, she wasn't around when she was needed the most. "Fine. It's not like I have anything better to do."

* * *

_'Maybe I should've jumped out a window or something...'_ thought Keima, sitting at a round table beside people he didn't really know. He glared at them, just as they glared back at each other, the tension of the game turning their friendship into an anchor, an anchor that they had to cut off. The whole crew was there: clockwise from Keima was Yuuji, Mizuki - who had apparently dashed home to have a little nap before the game - Minami, Shouko, Aiko, Hideyoshi, and finally Kouta. The deafening silence was cut by Yuuji's battle cry. "The King Game!"

"Yaaay!" everyone but Keima cheered. Everyone - excluding stoic Keima and Shouko - was proclaiming their glee by thrashing about, and surprisingly, the most active one was shy and silent Kouta of all people. There was no questioning what was on HIS mind. The cheer was cut off by another round of glares, as Yuuji said, "Akihisa, explain the rules."

"Right," grumbled Keima, who would've lens flared had Akihisa worn glasses. "There are raffles in this wicker basket. Each has a number from one to seven... or the word 'King'. The one who drew the 'King' can give an order to those who drew numbers. For example, the king can order number one to buy him fifty galges, or order number two to Capture number three. And the King's orders are..."

"_Absolute!_" cried all but Keima, who said the word in a monotone. Slowly, his attitude lightened up. The first request example Keima had given out was actually possible! He could actually force these guys to buy truckloads of games for him! Slowly, a mad smile curled on his face, lens flaring despite the impossibilities. No one was deterred by Akihisa's sudden excitement, though, as Yuuji started the game. "Well then, let's start!"

All hands went into the wicker basket, each one nabbing a slip of paper. Yuuji smirked, holding up his still closed slip, and said, "Okay, are you guys ready!?"

"Yep," said Aiko, nodding her head, as Shouko silently held up her slip. The tension came back, as everyone's attention centered on Yuuji.

"Here we go! One, two..."

"_Who's the king!?_" cried all, pointing their slips at the sky. Everyone quickly opened their slips, everyone but one lucky student moping in despair. Keima was down too: he really wanted those free games. "Damn!"

Yuuji stood above all, the King card clenched tightly in his hand. "Alright! Now it's time for my order. Let's see... numbers five and six!" Instantly, Keima and Kouta froze, as the former cursed the Real for his misfortune. "Go see Ironman and tell him 'I love you, so please go out with me'."

Pale faced, Keima and Kouta protested right in Yuuji's face. "How dare you! What kind of order is that!? If we do that, he'll get the wrong idea for sure! Oh, how disgraceful..."

"You can't get away, Aki!" objected Minami, who was still a little ticked off from earlier. "You explained the rules yourself just a moment earlier, right?"

"She's right, you two!" added Aiko, sealing their fate. With the others joining in, she repeatedm "The King's orders are..."

"_...Absolute...!_" grunted both Keima and Kouta, seemingly defeated, as they ran off to their doom.

"See ya later!" said Aiko, waving them off. Once they were outside the 2-F door, Keima let Kouta run for a little while before stopping him behind a corridor.

"They forgot to send someone to check to see if we actually did the order," said Keima, waiting a little for Kouta's inferior intellect to catch on to what he was saying. Once a light bulb lit above the pervert's head, Keima knew that he was on the same page. "Yep. As long as we act well, we don't die. Get some costumes, Voyeur, for our survival!"

* * *

"Welcome back!" Sitting at their seats, dirt and ash on their tear stain faces, Keima and Kouta sported very demeaning signs tied around their necks which said "I regret that I made fun of a teacher". Their costume was so over the top that it was believable.

"Round two!" cried a raged Keima, mad for having to demean himself like that. "Let's go! One two..."

"_Who's the King!?_" Everyone opened their slips, and everyone fell into despair... except for Aiko Kudou, who had the King.

"Oh, it's me," said the green-haired girl nonchalantly, as if she didn't hold the power to make her friends do her bidding. Everyone sounded off their curses. "Well then... number two... will kiss number four on the cheek." All eyes darted to Akihisa and a shocked Mizuki. The former shot up, raising her number four sheet.

"Really!?" asked the flushed pink-ette, her hair accessory copying her expression. Everyone else zoned out of her vision, with only Akihisa and her in the world only she knew. He was still on the ground in despair, so he had to tilt his head around to face her. "A-Akihisa... You d-drew number two in the raffle, r-right?"

"Mizuki..." muttered Keima, holding out his slip, which flipped open to reveal... the number three. The red vanished from her face, as she was thrown into shock. Her shock was broken by a tap on the shoulder. The buxom lady turned around, to face Minami, who held out the number two.

"Come to me, Mizuki."

* * *

"I see..." said Mizuki, a dark glint in her eye. "It's okay to give... risqué orders too, huh? If that's the case, then I'll be merciless from now on! Prepare yourselves!" Cue projectile nosebleed from Kouta. Ignoring the poor pervert who was lying in his own blood, Hideyoshi tried to reason out with Mizuki.

"Normally, girls don't like naughty penalty games, but-"

"Here we go!" yelled Mizuki, darkness oozing out of her. "One, two..."

"_Who's the King!?_" Everyone looked at their slips... but no one cheered. No one even merely announced their reign like Aiko. Tense, everyone glared at each other, poker faces on. No one knew who had the King, and everyone wanted to find out. That was till Shouko flipped her card around for all to see. Yuuji froze: she had the King. He could practically see the deathly aura coming off of her, and the kana written in blood.

"Sorry! Something urgent just came up!" cried the red-head, who bolted up and tried to dash away. Kouta and Minami jumped at him, halting his egress, with the former yelling, "You're not getting away!"

"King, please give out your order," said Kouta, not relenting. As Shouko nodded, Yuuji thrashed all the more, giving the two who were holding him back a hard time.

"Very well. Please come with me, Akihisa." The answer shocked everyone (but Keima) so intensely, that Minami and Kouta froze, their grip on Yuuji now nonexistent. Too bad he was too shocked to move. Keima instantly straightened up, looking proud despite the pitiful appearance.

"Shouko, the order you gave is invalid," said Keima, matching Shouko's glare. "It's against the rules to give out a direct order. You must use the number system."

"Fine," said Shouko. "Number four, go with me into a vacant classroom." All was silent, gazes darting towards Keima. He sighed, and got up, the slip with the number four falling out of his hands.

"You got me, Shouko. Lead the way," said Keima, sliding the door open for her. Smiling slightly, she accepted his chivalrous offer, as she led him out of 2-F, everyone staring at their backs out of confusion. "So, what shall we talk about now, Shouko."

"'Now'? So we _have_ talked before," said Shouko, leading him into 2-A. The place was as nice as ever, but the gravity of the potential discussion stopped Keima from enjoying the ambiance. "Does that mean that these are real?"

"What's real?" asked Keima, now very interested. Shouko would've explained, had her eyes not shut. Once they were opened, her formerly indigo eyes were now crimson red, and a halo floated above her head.

"These memories... and these feelings. Akihisa Yoshii, the Goddess Diana leaves Shouko in your care. Please take care of us."

* * *

**3.) Plot twist! And no, she's not the only Goddess premiering. Good luck guessing who the Hosts are! (And prepare for an info-dumpy Chapter 35).**

**4.) Please, if you're feeling unsatisfied with how the story's going, leave a review voicing your constructive criticism. If you don't have any major complaints and just want to support the story, please add this to your favorites and alerts list, and leave a review (can be short or long, but I love long reviews). Okay, pitiful begging done!**

**_Men cry not for themselves, but for their comrades - LOVELESS, Crisis Core: FFVII_  
**


	34. Last Flag - Me, Akihisa, & More Hijinks

**1.) To celebrate me just noticing that TWOSK has 50+ favorites, I've decided to combine both Sides of the story. By the way, this will probably be the last KeimAkihisA chapter, seeing that this is the last planned Akihisa's Side chapter. Yes, say goodbye to Akihisa's antics!**

**2.) This chapter may be a little info dump-y, so persevere. Please do, since I'm sure that the Akihisa one will either have you laughing or blushing (I'm in the latter, and I'm the freaking author!).**

**3.) Oh yeah, I hope the new cover isn't too crappy. Art isn't my cup of tea, as you can see.**

**Disclaimer is still in effect**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_Chapter Thirty-Four: Final Flag - Me, Akihisa, and More Hijinks_

* * *

"Ladies, the Fumizuki Goddesses are now among us," said Keima, looking at the sleeping Shouko on the nearby couch. After giving Diana a piggyback ride to the his house, Keima had plopped her onto the couch, the Goddess Reverting to her sleepy Host. Apparently, Shouko had been pondering the memories and feelings that just popped up out of nowhere for quite a while, so the nap she was taking was her first in three days. "Shouko here is the first Host, and is Hosting the Goddess Diana."

"Before we talk about Shouko," interjected Elsie (surprise!), looking at the girl prostrating in front of the Capturing God, "when will you stop rubbing your foot on Haqua's head, Kami Nii-sama?"

"Till I'm satisfied, or till my sweaty foot is dry," replied the boy, incessantly rubbing his foot into Haqua's hair. "Whichever one comes first."

"You better enjoy this, Keima, 'cause I'll never prostrate myself for you ever again!" cried the flushed Haqua, her forehead still on the ground, protected by her hands. Keima rolled his eyes at the public display of Tsundere-ism, as the other two Hosts did their own thing. Kanon was preparing the dinner, while Shiori was reading a manga that has idiots, tests, and summoned beings. Yes, she was reading Fairy Tail. That's when Shouko stirred from her slumber.

"...Akihisa," mumbled Shouko, getting up. All heads in the household turned towards her. "Diana - my 'other self' - wants to speak to you. I want to speak to you too, but Diana's topic seems to be more... urgent than mine."

"Thanks, Shouko," said Keima, who was still grinding his foot on Haqua, much to her distress... After Keima's acknowledgement, she Switched with Diana: her eyes turned red and sharpened, light shined off of her for a moment, and a halo above her head. "So, what do you have to say, Diana?"

"Just wait, I have to sync up with the Diana over 'there'," said Diana, her pupils dilating. Keima tapped his feet out of impatience, as the other girls stared at the Pseudo-Shouko. Once her eyes returned to normal, she raised her hand, and slapped Keima with all her might, sending the poor gamer flying into a nearby wall. Kanon raced over to help him up, as Shiori hid behind a book, Elsie hid behind Shiori, and Haqua glared at the Goddess. She would've glared back, if she wasn't so busy glaring at Keima. With the help of the idol, he got up, fixed his glasses, and leered at Diana.

"What's with Heroines and physical abuse!? This never happens with 2D Heroines!" cursed Keima, shaking his head. Kanon smiled, glad that the blow hadn't shaken him up too much. "Explain yourself, Diana!"

"You have six lovers at home, and you have six more here!? You insatiable dastard!" said Diana, cringing. She brought a hand up to her forehead, obviously in pain. "Now I don't know who to root for: Tenri or Shouko. Why must you make an innocent deity's life difficult!?"

"You're the one who wanted to sync up with the Maijima Diana," retorted Keima, pointing an accusative finger at the Goddess. "Anyway, you had something to tell us, right?"

"Yes. My Sisters are- wait, your leg is cursed," noticed Diana, pointing at the limb in question. Keima cringed, as everyone else were saddened at the reminder. "Hm... it isn't that strong of a curse. Well, for us Goddesses it isn't."

"If you haven't noticed, I'm not a Goddess," said Keima, looking at the leg. It was a weird curse. A stab to the stomach led to pain in the leg? That didn't make much sense. Of course, making sense of nonsense took a backseat to getting a solution to the curse. "Anyway, this is a curse of the Goddess Phoebe. Is a Goddess's curse as weak as you say it is?"

"Apollo's corrupted too!? Grr... Anyway, it's the curse of a Medium. Mediums redirect things: anything that they create themselves is weak. It may not be breakable by a mortal, but just about any Goddess, aside from Apollo, can shatter the curse. Put your leg out, and I'll ease your pain," said Diana. As she walked over to the leg not grinding Haqua's head, Kanon sat in despair.

_'So even if I had Apollo by my side, I still wouldn't be able to help my Keima...'_ internally muttered Kanon, drawing indescribable shapes onto the floor with her finger. As she moped, the only active Goddess in the room reached for Keima's pant leg, and pulled it up. As more and more skin was revealed, the blushes on both Diana and Keima (he doesn't like contact that he didn't initiate) grew, and Haqua's glare grew deeper and deeper till she was fed up by the two. She removed the foot from her head, and stalked off to wherever she liked to brood. Once the pant leg was halfway up Keima's thigh, Diana stopped, causing both of the blushes to fade away. Closing her eyes, the Goddess started chanting.

Keima's eyes widened as a purple miasma started to leak out of his leg. After a few moments of chanting, Diana's eyes suddenly opened, causing the miasma - and the pain - to disappear. She stood up, dusting off her hands. "All done."

"...Thanks," said Keima, not really used to handing out appreciation. Diana gave him a soft smile, till she shook it off, a steely expression replacing it. "Well, what were you going to say earlier?"

"My Sisters have Fallen, as you know. This is because the Weiss latched onto them, awakening their desires, and turning them into malevolent deities," said Diana, pursing her lips out of frustration. Keima could understand that. Her sisters - sisters that she loved - were infected by these ill Spirits for no reason other than to wreak havoc on the world. Who wouldn't be frustrated? "I don't know when they'll strike, but they will eventually."

"Strike?" asked Keima, confused. "Why would they want to strike? They aren't that paranoid, are they?"

"Well, to perform the ritual that can turn this land into a hellscape, all Goddesses must be under control of the Weiss, and both Mercury and I are incorruptible."

"How arrogant."

"This isn't arrogance: it's a fact. I am the first Goddess that you laid your dastardly eyes on, so I've been granted immunity as the Alpha Goddess, and Mercury is immune as the Omega Goddess."

"So we have to talk to Miharu!" interjected Elsie, popping up out of nowhere. Both Keima and Diana fell over. Coughing, the bespectacled boy slowly got up, the Goddess following in his wake. "Right, Kami Nii-sama?"

"...Right, Elsie. We'll talk to her tomorrow."

_*Scene Change*_

"So this is your brilliant solution?" asked Tsukiyo, holding Akihisa's hand with a light blush on her face. The three were on a bench under a tree on a hill, giving the three a clear view of the moon and its magnificence. Beside the tuxedo-ed Akihisa was Ayumi, who had on the gown from earlier.

"Well, it sort of combines the wedding with the moon viewing," replied Akihisa, shrugging. Both Tsukiyo and Ayumi gave him a look. Akihisa sweatdropped. "Hey, I tried my best!"

Ayumi said, "This amnesiac Keima may be an idiot-" cue face fault "-but he's the lovable kind of idiot. Thanks, Keima." Akihisa smiled. Helping out his friends was what he lived for. Tsukiyo, noticing their closeness, decided to take it up a notch, closing her eyes and leaning into Keima, lips first. Ayumi, alarmed at the moon maniac's bluntness, shut her eyes and closed the distance too. Akihisa, confused, moved out-of-the-way, leaning back so that his cheeks were out of the range of the lips.

Not noticing that Akihisa had moved out of the way - which was very surprising - they continued their path, till lips connected. Three blushes flared into life: Akihisa's caused by the girl-to-girl kissing, and the girls' caused by the lip-to-lip contact. Apparently, they both thought that Keima had turned their way to accept the kiss head on. The two women deepened the kiss, much to Akihisa's embarrassment, and went deeper as they embraced each other, Tsukiyo fondling the frills of the dress- wait... _frills_ of the _dress!?_

"Gwah!" cried the blonde, tossing her head back, hitting the arm rest of the bench. This caused Ayumi to fall back too, and it didn't take her long to put two and two together, seeing that Tsukiyo's lips were wet, while Keima's were bone dry. "W-Why were you kissing me!?"

"Me kiss you? You were kissing _me!_" retorted Ayumi, whose whole face was red. Darting her eyes to Akihisa, her hands flew to his collar, choking him. "I was supposed to k-kiss you, not her! What did you do!?"

"Um... wait, is that Yui with a video camera!?" hollered Akihisa, holding out a pointing finger. The two girls' heads swung towards where he pointed, so that they could smash the evidence to pieces. When they noticed that no one was there, they looked back to the bench, where a log sat in the boy's place.

"_Keima Katsuragi!_"

* * *

_**Footnotes:**_

_**Fairy Tail: A popular manga that has idiots (Natsu), tests (all stories have trials, which can be replaced with the word "test"), and summoned beings (The Celestial Beings)**_

_**Synced Up: Remember when Yuki Nagato synced up with her future self in the first episode of Melancholy? It's sort of the same thing. **_

**4.) I hope you liked it. Sayonara, Akihisa-san. (Props to you, if you get this reference.) Anyway, if you're confused about the Fallen Goddess stuff, just leave me a review with your questions, and I shall answer them. See you next time (around June 14)!**


	35. Me, Earthquakes, and Tatami Mats

**1.) Hey! Sorry to keep you waiting, but you can't exactly type out a story on your phone while flying on a plane (the stewardesses will glare daggers at you if you try). I know, excuses, but it's all I got. I did sorta warn you though.**

**2.) You may notice a few minor detail differences between the past chapters and this, like Diana's color palette and "Keiko's" full name, but nothing that really matters. Just a heads up.**

**Disclaimer still in effect**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_Chapter Thirty-Five: Me, Earthquakes, and Tatami Mats_

* * *

"Miharu," called out "Keiko Katsura", waving a hand in front of the frozen girl. "She" had just changed from Keima to Keiko right in front of the lesbian, who didn't seem to be taking it well. "Miharu? Can you please snap out of it!?"

"My lady... the lady of my dreams is a boy..." said Miharu, who slowly lied down on the ground and curled up into a fetal position, rocking back and forth to comfort her shattered mind. Keima sighed, and took off the brown wig, lugging it on his shoulder. She looked so pitiful that Keima almost felt sorry. Emphasis on the word "almost".

"See, I'm in on the game, Mercury," said Keima, noticing that Miharu wouldn't take notice of anything he'd say due to her wallowing up in her melancholy. "I need to talk to you. I even brought Diana with me." Keima pulled out Shouko from her hiding spot, a stoic look on her face. That look changed when her hair flared into a radiant shade of fuchsia, matching her piercing eyes, and a glowing halo appeared.

"Sister," said Diana, her index finger becoming bright. Kneeling in front of the curled up Miharu, Diana drew a few runes on her forehead using her finger, and instantly, Miharu was engulfed by light. When the light died down, Miharu's orange curls turned black, her eyes following the hair's lead. When she got up, she actually looked intimidating: sharp black eyes, a straight back, a no-nonsense expression; she was almost the opposite of the mischievous Miharu. "Why didn't you come out at once?"

"Because _he_ hurt my Host's feelings, therefore drastically reducing my maximum output power-wise," said Mercury, pulling out a pair of glasses and donning them. She wasn't just the complete opposite of Miharu - she was the complete opposite of Keima's Mercury, the one from his dimension. Formal, attentive, and seemingly uncaring about her Host unless it directly affected her. "I wasn't sure if he was an agent for the _other_ side."

"I can regain the love points later," said Keima, making sure that his back wasn't exposed to the new Goddess. "It's not like we need you at full power. Unlike back at home, where we were pressured by the sheer amount of people out for you, we can play it slower here. They won't attack us unless they're sure that they'll win, and with you two here, they'll be cautious. All we have to do is find out who the Archaic Hosts are before they figure out how powerful you two are. Any objections?"

"So all we have to do is lie in wait till they expose themselves," summarized the black-haired Goddess, tucking her arms under her bosom. "I approve."

"It's not as direct as I'd like, but I'll take it," said Diana, looking up into the sky. "I don't want Shouko to get hurt- whoa!"

The whole building shook. Violent vibrations raced through the school, spilling over many students and teachers. Keima's frail body was wracked by the sudden quake, and succumbed to it, falling gracefully onto his derriere. Of course, the Goddesses were a little luckier. With a snap of their fingers, the two deities managed to soften the vibrations till it was easy enough to stand before they could suffer Keima's fate. It didn't come without a price. The Goddesses seemed to be frozen in place, all their concentration poured into their task: keeping the building from having another fit. "A-An attack!?"

"Grh... a-an attack of considerable p-power," muttered a glasses-less Mercury, gritting her teeth. "T-The power is just so o-overwhelming. Which one of my 'Sisters' is the culprit!?" Keima got up, dusting himself off. He cupped his chin, contemplating the potential culprits. Ares is out of the question. She's just a little too... blunt with her power usage. Instead of making the foundations shake, she'd shatter them. Apollo and Hephaestus, who were both similar power-wise, would also fight them directly, through indirect means like the tiles on the roof or something. They were selfish beings too concerned with their overall health, and they wouldn't want to bring the building down on themselves. That meant...

"They're gonna collapse Fumizuki Academy, and are going to escape through an escape route made in advance," said Keima, his face paling at the thought. He whipped his head towards the two Goddesses. Putting down his PFP, Keima put on his game face: sharp glare, commanding aura, and a confident composure. "You two, what can Athena do?"

* * *

"W-What's happening!?" hollered Kanon, twisting so that her stun gun would have enough thrusting power to intercept the leg that had enough blunt force to snap a tree trunk half a meter thick in half. Electricity met flesh, as the assailant hissed and stepped back, showing no signs that a stun gun to the calf had actually hurt her. Kanon did the same, her back slamming against Haqua's. They were both showing signs of fatigue, sweat treading through the two faces. It wouldn't be long before they fainted out of pure exhaustion. "H...Haqua...they're t-too...much for us."

"Grh...I...k-know that..." Haqua replied. They were outnumbered four to one to the... _inhuman_ creatures in front of them. That all that they could be called. They _looked_ like Aoi, Sumire, Minami and Mizuki, but inside, they weren't. They were dark. They were corrupted.

They were Fallen.

"What do we do- gra!" cried the pink-ette, ducking Minami's thin leg. She swung upward with her taser, but was intercepted by one of Mizuki's meals, which somehow knocked back the idol's swing. Cursing, she jumped back, a foot flying to where her head had just been. It crashed into the reinforced cement wall with an insane amount of force, the foot sinking in to the wall like butter.

"W-Will we last!?"

* * *

"I have to stop the fight!" cried Keima, peeking out a classroom window into the hall where the fight was taking place. Haqua and Kanon were cornered, sandwiched between the Goddesses. Keima made sure to note that Ares/Yuuko wasn't there. That meant that all the girls there were Hosts- wait. There are four duking it out, while one's doing something only God knows. But there were only supposed to be four Fallen Goddesses. Was there an extra one? A forgotten one? Keima didn't have the luxury of time to figure that out. He had to save those two, before they were overwhelmed. "But how... Maybe if I..."

Keima dashed out of the room. In front of him were the backs of Aoi and Sumire who, with Minami and Mizuki's help, were boxing in Haqua and Kanon. He grit his teeth, and did one of the most idiotic things he had ever done in his life: he ran into the fray. Ignoring all common sense and logic that he was oh so infamous for using, he jumped head first into the fray.

He didn't have anyone else to rely on; no other pawns to use. Elsie was evacuated to the outside building by the staff, Shiori was with her, and Akihisa's friends were just human: they wouldn't be able to do anything. So instead of asking for help, he decided to do it himself.

Sliding under the arch Aoi's legs built, Keima stopped himself under Haqua's and Kanon's legs and slammed his right foot, he yelled, "Tatami flip!" Mats that weren't there before sprung up, encasing the trio in a pyramid of wood. A fist, a few acrylic tiles, some wall debris, and a surprisingly sharp carrot pierced through the mat, barely stopped by the friction.

When the mats fell, the trio was gone.

* * *

**3.) I hope you enjoyed the story! Okay, update dates. The next TWOSK update will come on the 5th of July, while I think TCOGK will be pushed back, so sorry M***** K**** fans! I still have to watch the show she's from and get a little more familiar with her character before I can confidently write the next chapter. Maybe the 28th would be a good update date?**

**4.) EDIT: Never mind...**

**Have a nice day :)**


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